I've been up all night convinced ds is going to die. Its not helped by the fact the stupid physio let slip the op on friday. ds is intelligent but cannot move or speak so has spent today yelling and grumpy and stiff with muscle spasms. He cant verbalise his fears and is in a right old state.

I hate putting him through another op, especially when he wont be 'cured' if you know what I mean.