Push for a diagnosis before school or not?

[Idbeloveandsweetness]

Ds is 3.10 and I'm fairly certain he is high functioning asd. Possibly even aspergers. In very concerned that when he starts school in September as a young 4 he is going to struggle socially. He is unable to make friends with his peers and is either very aggressive or over the top friendly.
He makes friends with children older than him more easily. He is very very verbal with adults and older children but doesn't bother much with children his own age. He has one child the same age that he plays with well but she won't be going to his school.

There are also a few sensory issues, especially around food. He's not just fussy, some foods make him physically sick - it is the texture not the taste I'm certain. In addition he is - though I hate to use the word - clumsy. Uncoordinated I guess with fine motor especially. He gets frustrated very very easily and will give up if he can't do something immediately. Every little thing has to be a competition and his emotional responses to small issues are way out of proportion. He is a complete perfectionist.

Should I push for a diagnosis? Will it help him?

Having a diagnosis helps school staff to provide the right support. Some people including medical proffs will tell you not to label your child but as many people on here have said, he could get a label of naughty or awkward or stubborn [as my dd3 did]. Getting the correct label for him if he needs one can only help.

Good luck whatever you decide

Would I have to go through preschool for the diagnosis or can I speak to my hv? I suspect if the hv came to see him at home she wouldn't see an issue. He would be chatty and cheerful like he usually is at home. It's mainly social situations that cause issue. And any situations where any pressure is put on him. For example asking him to show a grandparent how he can ride his bike would cause a huge meltdown. Rather than being proud and wanting to show it seems to cause him unnecessary stress. Which is why school worries me.
Although there is the eating. He also head shakes when overtired or overstimulated.

Preschool should have a senco who should be able to help but the best way is to go to your GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. Take you list of concerns with you and be assertive.

What polter said.

I would get a dx asap (if he merits one). You can decide to disclose or not as appropriate.

It takes years to get a dx in some areas, without meaning to sound negative it is very unlikely that you would get a dx before he starts school.

The sooner you start the process the better IMO.

Good luck.x

I'm another 'get the diagnosis' mumsnetter :)

It could make a huge difference to the way he's treated or 'labelled' in school. Just that alone would be the decider for me.

I'm in agreement with everyone else. Go for it, early intervention is key. My Ds had the 'naughty' label (and still does with some ignorant less supportive staff), his dx has made a big difference to his school life.