DD birthday party, all NT friends attended, but how long does that last?...

[proudmum74]

DD, who has Down's, turned 3 this weekend & she had 12 children from nursery & locally attend her party, most of whom were invited as they'd invited her to their party first.

It was lovely to see how kids at that age just see DD as another friend rather than someone who is different, and all seemed genuinely excited to have been invited.

It turns out one of DD best friends has quite severe ASD and I was so touched he'd turned up, despite being clearly anxious until we managed to find him a chill out area. It was even lovelier when his dad told me it was the first party he had ever been invited to & how excited he was about it.

Since the party I keep on thinking about how sad is that my DD is this little boy's only friend, and it did make me wonder - at what age do DC start to see disability & I'll have to begin to explain to DD why she is no longer invited? sorry I know it's a depressing thought, but I know the level of total inclusion she currently experiences can't last forever...

oh, your party sounds lovely :)

Fwiw, Dd (5, asd & severe s&l delay) does not get invited anymore. until 3 we still had invites from friends I made in babygroups. Dd has been to nursery (MS) and is now in reception (MS again) and we have never been invited. Luckily Dd is not bothered on the least. I think it would be more difficult for us if it would be upsetting for Dd.

My DD is 8 and has been friends with a child who has ASD since reception. At my neices school there is a little girl with Down's and she is in year 3, she had a small group of girls including my niece to her party this year and they all attended (I took my niece).

There were about 6 girls and they had a pottery painting party.

My DS has ASD and was invited to 'all-class' parties, to 'all-the-boys' parties and the occasional friends' parties. These stopped anyway, at about 7, and the boys' parties started to be all about football. He still went to one or two friends' parties but this stopped completely at 10. He went to a different secondary to most of his class and we/he have lost touch.

He went to a girl's 13th party this year, again a whole tutor group party, but only 3 boys bothered to go! He's never been purposely left out, but small group sleepovers tend to include a small number of best friends and he never had best friends. The whole class was sweet and supportive, but mothered him rather than were his friends. But, hey ho, that was good enough, TBH.

DD has been invited to a couple of parties at nursery (4th birthday parties) and both were only around ten children. So even though she doesn't talk to them, or let them play with her, she has somehow managed to get invited to parties :). I imagine if your little girl is friendlier than mine, she will continue to get invites for a long time!

My older son has a young lady with Downs in his class. His list of who he wants to attend changes every year, but she came to his 7th party at a soft play centre and I asked a group of kids to look out for her and they were ace, going on rides with her etc. I have to be honest though, the following year it was at a venue I didn't think she would cope with, maybe I should have invited anyway? My youngest is five, he is ASD and been invited to quite a few but I have turned down most, particularly where there are entertainers and games, because he can't cope and I have felt its for the best. It is partly my hang up, parents say oh it's okay, but I don't feel good if he has a bonzo meltdown during the sit down entertainment with all the parents staring etc.