To all clever mums of Apsie girls...

[Mollyweasley]

My DS (7 years old) was diagnosed with Aspergers last years. At the time we realised my DD (10 years old) displayed many traits but she was happy so we had no real cause for concern. However she now has started to not want to go to school and seems to obsess on doing everything absolutely right to the point of lying pretty well if need be just so she can be seen has having done the right thing. She has many fears and worries. I was wondering if any of you with diagnosed Aspie daughters went through a similar thing, if not what was the first sign that your daughter needed extra help?

Thanks for answering: can you describe how you know she struggles: are we talking loud meltdowns with shouting, cries and curling up or is it very subtle quiet and discreet?

My Dd1 and dd3 fit the profile for aspergers, Dd1 has no diagnosis and Dd3 has a diagnosis of Asd.

Dd1 can lie the legs off a chair, she lies to cover up her lies and I dont believe she always realises that she is not telling the truth. This can make her very hard to live with [in fact she doesnt live at home anymore]. She has only ever said that she lies so that she doesnt get into trouble.

Dd3 cant lie, she is completely incapable of it although she does try occasionally.

Dd3 struggles with anxiety and transitions are her biggest problem, leaving the house and going to school is really hard for her.

I think with undiagnosed Asd can start to stand out at the age your Dd is because the other girls social skills become so advanced that our girls just cant keep up.

I agree with lisad she needs to be assessed before her anxiety leads to other issues such as depression.

Good luck

i'm mum to DD who is dx ASD, granted not AS but she's very young and the dx is to get her into the system so to speak, she's having further assessments etc

DDs anxiety and meltdowns are being very seperate

anxiety manifests as needing socks and shoes very tight, loss of continence, quick temper, she will tie her hair round her fingers very tightly, (there are far more) all things she does to herself

meltdowns seem to occur after periods of high sensory input or prolonged anxiety, and these she directs outwardly - mainly at home, where she is relaxed

if you do suspect your DD is on the spectrum, i would have assessments done because from what i have seen from friends with older DDs, she could continue on the 'self destruct' mission.

thanks a lot for all your messages. It's been very helpful. The signs that a girls needs help because of AS actually seem very similar that the one in a boy ( and I am only too familiar with these!). I don't think we are quite there with my DD. It is so hard sometimes to see what is typical behaviour and what isn't! So we will just keep watching her and see how she gets on. I got the workbook that PolterGoose recommended a few years back for DD and I would recommend it too. Thanks again.