Activities aimed at SN Children, ds can't cope.

[crappypatty]

We are very lucky in our area that we have a charity that has been set up by parents to run a social group/youth club for SN children. Mainly the children who attend had ADHD but some have ASD as does ds (8).

They also organise days out, and at Christmas a party. In the coming weeks a number of other sessions will run, doing specific activities such as music.

My problem is that he just can't cope, all of the other children have SN and apart from a few meltdowns they all socialise and enjoy themselves. ds doesn't he won't mix, he has numerous meltdowns and basically doesn't want to go.

Is there any point? I just don't know anymore. Do I give up and let him become more isolated. He just wants to stay at home and never step outside. Feel emotionally drained tonight, you know its bad when even some of the SN mums are staring

Is there some sort of activity that he would enjoy? Can they set up a quiet space as part of the set up where he can retreat to? I'd push the organisers a bit more to see what they can come up with. But at the end of the day, the clue is in the title - it's a social event. If DS doesn't want to do it then I can't see any good at all in pushing it right now. Take a break and try again in a few weeks? ((hugs))

I have been involved in designing Short Breaks services (which covers everything from overnight respite to 1 hr activities) in my area since Aiming High a number of years ago. We regularly review what services are on offer to children with a whole range of disabilities, and the group that often gets missed are those children with ASD who have sensory issues - ie those who just can't cope in busy, nosiy environments that are often all that is on offer.

The things on offer here are Craft activity sessions (which are relatively sedate) and group board games sessions. At the moment, those activities are on offer to children 11+, (so wouldn't cover your DS) however, they are looking at introducing something for the younger age group. We steered clear of anything involving computer based activities as most of these youngsters spend their home lives glued to a computer - which is precisely why parents are looking forother activities.

Is there

Sorry - posted too soon

Is there not a support group for children specifically with ASD in your area, where perhaps there are families of children with similar issues as your DS whom you could get together with for a quieter activity - even if it is just you and another family (with a child of similar age/needs) having a walk in a woods or park together, and perhaps setting the children a nature trail or things to collect together.

It sounds to me as though your son isn't ready for the type of environment that the current club provides. Maybe give it a break and try again when he is a bit older, as it is clearly not achieving the outcome you would like and is causing him distress.

It is hard, I know, as parents just want their children to socialise, but often the child doesn't have that same need. FWIW, my own DS did not join in any activities at that age, but after he started Secondary school and actually made some friends, he had the confidence to join some small clubs and activities, although he still prefers 'individual' activities where they may be others around but not directly involved with him eg gym or swimming.

My son is 12 and has ASD. Additionally, he has a diagnosis of co-morbid OCD. There are local clubs/activities in our area and over the years, I've pretty much done 90% of them in an attempt to broaden his social awareness. HE CANNOT COPE WITH THEM. As he now explains to me "I'm not a club sort of person".

We now receive (though the way things are going, we may not for much longer) Direct Payments which lets me "employ" a young person to come to our home. It's not ideal, but it's all ds can cope with and at least allows him to see someone other than me and DH "socially". The personal assistant does various thing..... Takes ds to the cinema/for short walks/plays on the Xbox/watches a film at home etc. Ds is an only child and this little bit of social interaction is tailored to him. No doubt, David Cameron will find a way of taking it away, sometime in the future.

I was like you. Desperate to end my son's isolation and scared that he might not learn basic " how to form social friendships" at this crucial age. I was constantly told that there was this or that "club" available. In the end, I went to the council and my MP and told them that that was all very well but what about those kids who couldn't access the group activities? It was a struggle but we got a bit of funding, in the end.

A for you OP because I know how hard it is for a mum in your position.

poor you it's heartbreaking to see your child unhappy. I have an 8-year old DS with ASD. He couldn't give monkeys about socialising, I take him to a special needs gymnastics class but it's more for exercise and gross motor skills. We pay (covered by Direct Payments) someone to come and take him out to do activities that he enjoys - cycling, swimming lessons, or surfing lessons. It doesn't mean that your DS will be isolated from the world if he stops going to clubs, there is a lot to do outside that doesn't involve being in a group! I bloody hate exercise classes but I love running on my own. You could take a break, and try again later?