DS2 diagnosed as Aspergers this afternoon

[singinggirl]

Just that really. Feeling a bit shell-shocked at the moment and DH is away till Thursday. I am pleased to have a diagnosis before secondary school, but it is also something else to take into consideration for that - Kent is a Grammar area, and while DS2 will definitely pass, will that be the best place for him? Head whirling really - not sure what I want to hear, but any wise words would be great.

Hi OP,My DS2 also has Aspergers and although we were 99.9% certain he would get that diagnosis it was still a shock to actually be told, so I know how you feel. Just relax, take time to let it all sink in and remember that nothing will actually change (at least not immediately) by finally having a name to explain your DS's behaviours etc. He will still be the same wonderful, amazing DS as before . Sorry your DH is not with you just now. How old is DS? (we are in Kent too and I've just been through the 11+ terror with DS1 ). Be easy on yourself and try to take it one day at a time, there is a lot to think about and there are lots of very knowledgeable people here on these boards (I wouldn't count myself as one of them but I've learned a lot through lurking ).

Thank you suburban, you're right, however much the dianosis is expected it is still a shock to know for sure. Hope your DS1 came through Kent Test unscathed - my DS1 started at Grammar School this term and loves it, so it was worth the terror! I suppose I should see if I can talk to anyone in the SEN department at DS1's school and see what they have to say, plus meetings with the SENCO etc at DS2's school. Of course, being half term means I can't talk to them yet. But hopefully I will have things a little more in perspective when I do.

Oh and I meant to say thanks for listening, just feels a little better for sharing.

Hi singing, glad you came to join us.

I have a Dd3 with ASD, we say she has Aspergers because she fits this "label" better.

She was diagnosed last year when she was 9 and despite the fact that it took us 3.5 years to get the diagnosis I still had a horrible feeling in my stomach for a few days after we were officially told.

Keep coming on here for advice and support and good luck.

I would definitely go and see the SENCO at your older boys school and see what they would be able to do to support your younger son.

Hi singing, at least half term break will give you time to think about things and how to approach the school. I think it's worth speaking to the SENCO and just making them aware of any areas that you think your DS might need help with now or in future, even if its only things that seem minor. It's definitely reassuring to me to know that DS's school is aware, they are very good at preparing him for any unexpected changes etc which he would have a mini panic about! I'm sure you'll be wanting to read everything you can if you haven't already - I really like this book, it's very simple and also has a section for teachers here

There may be quite a few Aspies at a grammar school as they tend to do well at the academic stuff and so the staff may have more experience than most. But if you have time (not sure if dc is in Y5 or Y6?) go round and quiz the SENCOs and get a feel for their attitude and approach. You should also get extra help managing the transition as it is well understood that AS kids need support with change.
The diagnosis is a brilliant start to opening up a whole world of support for your child. It is also a great way for you to learn more about what's going on in your child's head and to support them. Seeing as its the same dc as ever, having an official diagnosis can only be a very, very good thing.

Hi

I remember when my DD was dx'd- I felt like my whole world had been turned upside down.
However, in time those feelings settle down and life will return to 'normality' -whatever that is Just take it a day at a time.

As others have said, this board is fantastic- an amazing source of information and support. It has literally saved my sanity many times.

Take care x

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling a little better today and starting to think a bit straighter. DH is back tomorrow, hopefully he'll have got over the first of the shock as well so we can talk about things rationally.

DS2 is year 5 Swiddle, so I have a year to think about secondary, you're probably right about the Grammar teachers having more experience of aspies, so I guess I should be greatful to live in Kent, and stop moaning about the 11+ the way I did when DS1 was taking it!

DS2 doesn't seem to have taken it in - when they explained to him he listened, but then got outside and said 'I didn't really get what they were going on about Mum'. I offered to explain, but he just said he wasn't really interested and what time was scooby doo on! So at least he isn't concerned.

I remember feeling like I had been hit by a truck when we got the DX for DS even though we had expected it. I also remember spending weeks reading everything about it that I could get my hands on and then wanting to DO something to help, anything, something practical.

Actually you can only change things bit by bit and the thing that most helps is remembering that AS people view the world differently and so they do not always understand what you mean/are thinking etc and need lots of clear explanations. I try ( and often fail TBH) to take a deep breath and keep calm and try to see it from DS's point of view. He is quite good at explaining - although in a very roundabout way often.
All I can say is take on step at a time, and remember this DX will only help you to get the best help for your DS that you can which is a good thing. It will breed understanding.