ds1 can't cope with his PS3 games

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We bought ds1 a PS3 and he has age appropriate games, but he still can't cope with playing on them His behaviour is terrible when he's on them and he's all kind of wired and unpleasant. They are shooting games, but nothing with a lot of violence etc. He says 12s are too childish, but 15s seem to set him off - there's nothing inbetween.

He says that his friends at school are asking when he's going to be able to multi game with them over the 'net, but we've taken his PS3 off him now due to his behaviour. We don't plan on giving him it back.

It's affecting his social interaction, which he badly needs, but is no good for his brain.

What can we do?

Are there any games which aren't about shooting, apart from football and racing cars?

He's 14 btw and has adhd and is going to be assessed for aspergers soon.

My ds is only6 but we have decided against computer games for the reasons you have described. He gets so involved and obsessed that all he thinks and talks about is the game (for us it was Lego games on the wii). He also got very aggressive and distressed whenever it was time to stop playing. We will steer clear of all computer games and consoles for as long as possible.
Is much harder for a 14 yr old though. Is he interested in less violent stuff? What about getting him into programming his own games? I think you can get starter kits.

I don't think the PS3 is the best thing for avoiding that sort of game.

Nintendo are better at platform and adventure style games, particularly supermario and the like - all very sanitised without being nauseating. XBox has lots of little puzzle type games available. DH didn't get a PS3 because he didn't really fancy any of the games available on it.

The online gaming that is popular amongst peers is all World of Warfare shoot-em-up nonsense. DS is only allowed James Bond but this is too much (for me) and to be honest he can't deal with online playing - he doesn't get the online social rules and must annoy the hell out of other players - thats why we don't have the speakers on! There are other PS3 games - especially Move games - that don't tend to become quite so obsessive as they can be quite physically tiring and that seems to set a 'natural' limit to how long they want to play for.

Oh dear, I didn't get an XBox because I thought all the games for that looked quite violent

He does like computer strategy stuff and those don't set him off. I just worry about the social side of things. I don't want him to miss out, but I don't want his mind affected either. He's very susceptible it seems.

I shall do a bit of searching on the net. He needs a new computer anyway due to his being flood damaged, so we'll probably just stick to computer based games and limited internet access.

DH does play some pretty vile FPS type games on his X box (when the boys are in bed!), but there's lots that are better, like lego star wars etc.

DS (14) has a PS2 and a Nintendo ds. He likes the various lego ones (lego starwars, lego indiana jones, lego harry potter)

So there is still a bit of shooting and bashing but they are lego people and rebuild themselves!!

I have just banned DS (15 HF ASD) from playing shooting games on his PS3 as he ignored my frequent requests to stop shouting and swearing at the screen. He was allowed to play Gran Turismo at the weekend and was altogether a much calmer person. He gets too involved in on-line games and cannot leave the game when asked to do something else (such as eat his dinner) and that then causes more arguments. He has opted to play on the computer for now (bored of GT already) and doesn't shout/swear at that even though I know sometimes he is shooting things or blowing things up - somehow its just not as graphic and real on the computer games he's using.

It is a tough one, as they want to play the games their friends at school are playing and link up with them on-line - but I think you know your own child best and know how he is responding to the games and its clearly not good for him. (I know DS used to lie to his mates about which games he had - as we were much stricter about age appropriate games than others were. I think he used to read about the games on on line forums so that he sounded like he had actually played them!!!)

big my DS does that too - on the odd occasion that one NT friend visited he always wanted the see the games DS claimed to own for him and wanted DS to share knowledge of how to get through difficult levels - DS did not have a clue for him. I used to pretend that I was the over-strict mother from hell and it was all my fault. I can take it - he can't.

Oh dear, I was just about to recommend Minecraft as a more peaceful alternative, which my DS plays with others using Skype but I see others have had problems even with that...

Ds plays FIFA and football manager and Final Fantasy with his friends from school online. I've never bought him shooting games and he's never asked tbh. Dd likes Minecraft and all things Mario but she doesn't play online.