3 weeks into secondary and issues, should I be on their back?

[ohmeohmy]

ds at SN secondary. Poor working memory means struggles to remember where his things are and what he needs when and where. So lost expensive school fleece, pencil case, school homework diary. He has been buddies with a yr 9 boy who is supposed to help him but from what I can tell they " just play the weakest link"

Prepared to put all of above down to adjustment and them getting to know him but then...
Yesterday forgot to bring lunchbox home so sent him in with another today but at lunchtime he picked up yesterday's and wonders why I hadn't put any food in it.
It was only because I happened to pick him up after lunch for an appt and sent him back inside for his bag and lunch boxes that he asked my if I had any snack and why there were no sandwiches in his lunchbox that I realised what had happened. He would have gone hungry till 4pm under normal circs.

Have emailed his teacher and said I think he needs support and strategies to help him. Should I be leaning heavily on them now or adopting a wait and see approach?

I would definetely contact them now. The school probably think because he has a buddy that things are fine. Without you letting them know otherwise, things could escalate and get worse. Ask school about his lost items, chances are they will be in a lost box somewhere. Think the school need to put proper help in place if the buddy doesnt work. Hope things are sorted soon

Thanks. Worrying that I am being overprotective and not letting him find his way. He was so nurtured in primary and seems to be floundering though he is not bothered at all. Finding it hard to try and get him to think about this stuff without feeling like a failure. He gets very annoyed when I give him instructions. Resisting the temptation to write reminders all over his arms!

Did you say SN secondary? Sounds more like mainstream sink or swim learn independence style. Definitely have a word.

On it goes.... after a couple of emails to tutor all his things came home. BUT today call from the teacher who takes him for several subjects, slightly moany tone wanting to know how I get him to concentrate. Says he won't be quiet in class and listen to instructions. from conversation it was clear she hasn't read any of the copious information forwarded from last school and has no idea about sensory processing disorder. I asked if she would like me to tell her and suggest some reading and she said if I could email something brief she'd look at it. Got lots of excuses type talk ...'only 1 TA for 12 kids and others are needy too'....'i can't remind him all the time because I am not with him all day'.... She asked if he always needs the loo then proceeded to tell me they are told to go to the loo at breaktime and lunchtime... oral instructions he will not remember as he won't think about it until he feels he needs to go. Told her if she doesn't want him leaving lessons for the toilet someone should ensure he goes at break. AIBU?

Really dismayed that already it is about controlling his behaviour and not about them learning how to teach him effectively. Pissed off I will now have to put a lot of effort into educating them. Worried that his intelligence is going to get lost and learning compromised due to their lack of understanding. WTF is there only one TA in a class of 12 yr7 SN kids? Why dont they read the info given them and put it to good use?

Wanting to vent but also advice on what is situation if he needs 1-1 support in SN school at least initially? Do they have to allocate someone?
Parents eve next tuesday so want to be prepared.