Hi everyone, I'm after some advice from anyone who's caring for someone with anxious behaviours.
My dd is 15, she has autism. She is fairly low functioning, has problems processing and expressing her emotions/feelings/ choices etc, and has been, and can still be (when she doesnt understand/like things) very very anxious.
She's come on leaps and bounds in a new school setting (SS) where they truly understand her needs, and is making great progress in saying what she does/doesnt like, and learning to make and express choices and other communication 'tools'.
She goes to respite once a fortnight and has been doing so for some years, which although she doesnt love, she manages and enjoys it ok.
The last 2 times she's gone she refused to sleep at all both nights. This is new!! I think another child refusing to go to bed set her off initially, but then she has stuck to the pattern without any support from other kids and a really low arousal approach by staff.
This w/e she went in again, and I reminded her gently that 'its important to sleep when you're at ..., or you'll be tired for school on Monday' (she loves school). She got pretty cross, but went to school and then respite ok, so I thought phew...
However at 9.30pm she'd thrown up evrywhere and they called me to come and take her home (they wont keep kids there when they're ill). Fair enough I thought and went get her. The thing is the moment I saw her I knew she was fine, and she's been fine ever since. I think she must have been worrying about it all day, and not been able to say this and eventually made herself sick with worry. I?m not saying she forced herself to be sick, I don?t think she?d have the concept of that, just that all the worrying had made her vomit. And the end result was that she got to come home, so that would be a good outcome for her, so now I?m worried she?ll have this as her new ?pattern?.
Does this make sense to anyone else? I?m a bit stumped as to how to handle it. She?s very controlling, but not in a pre meditated manipulative way, just in a way that she has such limited understanding that the world can be a scary place. Can be very caring and loving but has little/no empathy. I really need her to go to respite, her care needs are just too high for me to meet on my own. Any ideas or similar experiences? Thanks x