Got AS diagnosis. Now meeting with school.

[Vroomfondel]

I have a meeting with SENCO next tuesday to discuss DD.

I have no idea what to ask for. Any suggestions?

My top questions would be 'have they done a sensory audit/autism audit of the school day for her, or can they arrange one of these?' and 'what arrangements are there for a quiet space so that she has someone to retreat to when she needs it'.

Plus any individual requirements she might have that would make it possible for her to access the curriculum and build her social skills. The social skills stuff is arguably the most important thing of all for us. Without those skills, our knowledge is 100% useless as no-one will listen to our ideas or hire us afterwards.

I agree with Justa.

There is no 'thing' to ask for because a child has ASD.

What you need to work out (between you and school) is what problems is she having that is related to her ASD, and then what you both should be doing about them.

She might have problems at lunchtimes, unstructured play, making friends, keeping friends, controlling her temper, getting dressed, handwriting, reading, noisy classrooms, transitions, changes to timetable, staying in class..........

Also, are the school getting advice from the ASD outreach team? In some areas they are brilliant, they come into school and observe the child and help school work out solutions to problems........

up until now school have denied any problem at all. apart from giving her detentions for fiddling and doodling.

her main issues are

she just can't cope with big rooms full of people. so assemblies, lunch in the canteen, big groups in the sports hall and I imagine taking exams in the next few years will be a huge problem because of the big rooms full of people

fiddling and doodling - she needs to otherwise her anxiety levels just build and build.

homework - just Argh.

any changes in normal patterns - so non-uniform days, sports days, supply teachers. notthat theres much that can be done about them but she hates them.

she tends to be able to supress all the things that get to her while at school then let it all out at home.

so maybe start with what she finds hard.

ask for a sensory audit and input from ASD outreach?

she just can't cope with big rooms full of people - is this due to noise? Or do you know what exactly she finds hard about it?

fiddling and doodling - would be very reasonable for her to have a fidget toy which she is allowed to play with. And a move n sit cushion if she is constantly moving. She should not be told off for fidgeting. She can't help it.

homework - ask for her not to get any. That's a perfectly reasonable request.

any changes in normal patterns - ask for her to get plenty of notice about this. Does the class have a timetable on the wall for each day? If the supply teacher is someone who teaches in the school can she meet them the day before? Can she be told as much as possible about an unusual day before it happens?

school actuallly sells tangle toys to pupils. then tell her off for fiddling with them

big secondary school.

to start with i think i just want them to recognise she has difficulties with some things. would it be too much to want each of her teachers to know about her AS and to remember?

No reason why she can't have lunch in a small group, so long as she doesn't see it as not being 'cool!'

Same with exams, a small room with only her or a few others who find the sensory overload too much.

She should be allowed de-stressers, just try to make them socially acceptable and not distracting for others, stress-ball, worry beads, something she'll like.

Will they do a homework club at school? My DS's school does/will do. if it's an extension of school, rather than you having to get her to do it?

Assemblies, hmm, good to try to get de-sensitised. MP3 earphones, even if not plugged into MP3? Sat near the door so she can leave if it gets too much? I'm sure there are other solutions.

Sports day, tempted to take a sickie, or an authorised 'sickie' for anxiety levels.

Same with mufti days, my DS hates them, (especially when I forget and send him in in uniform)

Crossed with you and Indigo! Oops. Does she have a 'passport' with her needs on that each teacher has a copy of? DS's school again, has a passport which pops up when they take the on-line register on their laptops at the start of every lesson.

Sorry, posted too soon. The passport will hopefully stop him getting told off for fidgeting etc. Also it will say that teacher or TA need to ensure that his homework is written in his homework diary, his organisation is pants and he'll try anything to avoid homework.

Each of her teachers - How many does she have? Sorry, I was thinking she was at primary - is she at secondary?

She needs to go on the SEN register. Then each teacher will know about her ASD - but they still will need help 'seeing what you see'.

Hopefully the ASD outreach team will do a good job of educating the school.....

I think concentrating on them recognising she has difficulties is a good place to start. Also remember this can be the first of many meetings.

Vroomfondel,

What year is she in?. Who has denied any problems at all?.

I would be asking them to apply for a Statement for your DD; if they are unwilling to do so I would make the application personally to the LEA.

Autism outreach are all very well and good but their advice can go unheeded and not all of her teachers will get it. Secondary schools can be both big and impersonal and children with additional needs that do not get met slip through the net. Currently she is not getting her additional support needs met; this is likely the reason why she is taking out all her frustrations at home.

You are her best - and only - advocate.

she's in year 8. it's been a struggle to get her there at all for years but they just aren't interested because when she is there she's fairly well behaved.

The whole point of getting a 'real' diagnosis is so we can access some recognition and help for her.

i suppose i have to wait and see what SENCO has to say before I start demanding but rest assured if they are still not interested I will be shouting very loudly at them.

I fear she will pootle along quietly, not be given any help, not do any exams and drop out, when she has so so much potential.

Hi vroom

re your comment:-

"I fear she will pootle along quietly, not be given any help, not do any exams and drop out, when she has so so much potential"

This is also good reason to be applying personally for the statement now. Its not too late to do this even though she is in Y8.

Do let us know what the SENCO says; if this person says something along the lines of "well she does not need a Statement" ignore such nonsense and make the request to the LEA yourself.

IPSEA's website is good at the whole statementing issue and there are model letters you can use www.ipsea.org.uk.

Vroomfondel

"she just can't cope with big rooms full of people. so assemblies, lunch in the canteen, big groups in the sports hall"
Have a look at Speech-in-noise perception in high-functioning individuals with autism or Asperger's syndrome. It may help explain a few things.

Morning all. Tis I Vroom under my other name

So meeting is this afternoon. i'm going to copy down your sage advice and take it along.

DD has a detention today because she refused to lie down and relax in a drama lesson. I may start with my feelings about that.

I despair at some schools, i really do. WANTING to understand is a step in the right direction. Perhaps you could ask if any of the staff have ASD training and if not, do they plan on getting any.

My ds was given a communication card to use at playtime as he misinterepted touch and became overwhelmed. The idea being if he showed the card, he could go inside and sit somewhere quietly. When he showed his card, he was sent to the head teacher for telling lies!

Good luck this afternoon.

You really need to target themain problems that your daughter has with school and work on those first. Below are the things that most helped my son.

My son got given a 'get out of class card' that he could use if he found he could not cope in class. It allowed him to go to his head of year or the support staff for a 15min breather. It helped him a lot especially with supply teachers or others that forgot he had sn as he was very clever.

He was also given a library card that meant he (& a friend if he had one) could go to the library any break / lunchtime, which got him away from the playground.

His head of year is also quite sensible about missing days off school. He knows that the special days like sports day etc are hell for my son & can upset him for several days. The head of year has said he would rather my son was in 80% of the time in a frame of mind where he can learn, than 100% of the time so wound up that he cant take anything in.

Good Luck

Let us know how it went, AYC.

I have my list. now, how not to cry?

Can't help you with that one! It still takes me by surprise sometimes. So long as you have your list and get a chance to skim through it so you don't forget anything important. Make sure the meeting ends up with some actions being minuted with someone responsible for doing each one within a reasonable agreed timescale, otherwise the meeting won't have achieved much.

I'm back.

think it went ok-ish. She's going to sort out SEN register and get IEP in place before the end of this term.

She seemed surprised by most of what I said. Particularly when I told her that DD hates everything about school, hates all the lessons and all the teachers. She asked whether she had any mental health problems and suggested CAMHS (been there, done that). she hates everything about school because it has been a miserable place for her for years on end.

So the IEP - means she'll get a mentor, TA assistance in 3 lessons a week, get a prompt in tests and assessments, and hopefully will stop her teachers nagging her and punishing her for fiddling and other stuff out of her control. She'll also get a time out card and access to a group they have for others with ASD.

So we shall see.........

It may be all she needs, but don't be scared to go straight back to them if it's not working, eg if she still gets told off for fidgeting, or not all teachers seem to have the info, or your DD is still finding it really difficult. If you didn't get any of this in writing, write an e-mail to the SENCo or HT 'confirming' the actions agreed at your meeting today. Then have plenty of !

i asked for her to do me a report.

i am in serious need of but have none. if i pop to waitrose i will spend £25 but i think it may be necessary.

i'm knackered.

Hope you've got your , we've got a Waitrose and Home store, electricals, curtains, furniture and posh kitchen stuff. Have never managed to spend under £50! I don't go that often!