School have finaly got funding for dd2's 1:1 but.....

[Marne]

I think i am going to have problems getting her to go to school .

I took dd2 out of school a week and a half early due to lack of support (not meeting her statement) and the stress of x-mas, the day before i took her out she had a huge meltdown. I have tried taking her in last week whilst picking dd1 up and she got very upset, screeming to go home (never seen her like this before), whenever i mension 'school' she shouts 'no, no, no' .

The school have now got the funding for her 1:1 to stay with her from 9am until 3pm which is great (her 1:1 is great with her) but i'm worried that she will refuse to go , she has only done 2 full days (which she found hard work) and as of Jan 5th she has to go full time, i really don't know how she's going to cope.

Do i just have to drag her into school kicking and screeming?

Will she have the same 1:1 for the full day? DS2 has the same one except for the 30 minutes she takes her break and I find this helps him a lot as he has days where he doesn't want to go.

Would you be able to maybe stagger her into full time?

Or perhaps after lunch her 1:1 could take her somewhere calm and relaxing. DS2 found the first 9 months of school really tiring especially after lunch as there was a lot going on with children running around and different smells of food etc. His 1:1 used to take him to the sensory room they had for the SN children (the school has a children with visually imparement ARC).

We eased dd2 into full time quite gradually. The LA initially made a fuss, but calmed down when they could see we had a planned integration in mind. It took about a term to gte her in full time, but worked great. Perhaps this might be the way forward? The school also need to have a plan in place for activities and maybe a quiet, calming area for your dd to retreat to. DD2 has a sensory tent which she is allowed to use to chill out for short periods during the day. This seems to work well. It may be that you have to be firm to get her back into school and grit your teeth over all the screaming, but you can only do this if you know you have a plan in place to help your dd settle back in. I think you will need to talk about this formally with the school so that you feel comfortable with it.

Thanks for your suggestions, so far the school has refussed to do anything i suggest . We were thinking about moving the dd's to another school but then the news came of the extra 1:1 and we felt we should give it a chance, she will have the same 1:1 all day (appart from when she takes a break). I think if i suggest sticking to half days and upping it slowlly the school will refuse as the 1:1 is now in place for 30hrs.

I will talk to the SENCO and see how we can help dd2 settle in.

It really sucks when the school are not behind you Marne. I hope the SENco will be more helpful and understanding towards your suggestions.

Sorry to hear the school has been so unsupportive, Marne. DS also had a period settling in when his school site moved - starting with half days and gradually increasing. He had a 1:1 for 26 hours but he would still just go in for a morning for the first week.

I do think you should think carefully about whether the school can continue to meet her needs in the long term, though. IME so much comes down to attitude and a willingness to be flexible rather than resources and experience.

will school let the 1-1 do some home visits first? i would actually be inclined to discuss with the area inco if you have no joy with the school senco... or maybe speak with the governor responsible for sn if the ht is not playing ball? after all, the goal of both you and the school is to get her into ft attendance, so you all need to formulate a plan to make that happen...