hypotonia and toilet training

[bigcar]

I'm being put under quite a lot of pressure to toilet train dd3 (4.8). She has low tone and is hypermobile, learning difficulties, very limited communication and doesn't know when she is wet, when she needs to go or even care that she's wet. If I cave to pressure will I just be wasting my time and possibly distressing dd3 or do you think there is a chance of success?

Who is putting the pressure on you? Are any of the people doing this people you trust may have a point? Hypotonia on its own shouldn't prevent toilet training, as it is a problem with slow reaction of muscles to a stimulus rather than an inability to have any bladder sensation, so it's the combination of issues along with the hypotonia that are going to make it very difficult (or possibly impossible? I wouldn't know about that) for you to achieve. And, of course, if you are expected to be the one doing all the work to help your dd become "toilet trained," you need to feel confident and relaxed that you are doing the right thing, or it won't work, anyway, because you and your dd will end up distressed with each other and will give up. Can the people putting pressure on you not give you some sensible advice on how to deal with the problems of potty training a child with limited communication, learning disabilities and genuine physical difficulties???

Thanks. This was the school nurse we had to see in order to get dd3s nappy order size changed, she doesn't know dd3 at all and after some of the crap she fed me about toilet training, no I don't trust her. Dd3's in school so they would be expected to do their bit but I don't trust them either! We're supposed to be seeing the specialist sn enuresis nurse next week but after the crap I got off the last lady, want to be sure of my facts before we go. I'm sure dd3 will get there eventually, just not convinced now's the right time.