9 year old DS1 - Referral for assessment Aspergers

[PadmeHum]

It's my first time on this board and would be interested in hearing peoples (more experienced) views on what's been going on with my DS1.

Since he was a tiny baby, we've always thought he was "different", nothing specific but he just wasn't your average child.

Specifically, the things we have been seeing a counsellor for are:

1. He cannot communicate - our family life is a disaster, he just doesn't know how to say sorry and is totally unaware of anybody's feelings but his own (totally egocentric).
2. He has sensory issues (the fights we have had over the year about the type of breakfast he will eat have been quite spectacular). He is also sensitive to clothing and sound.
3. He scores very high for depression/anxiety, yet when asked, he says he is happy.
4. He cannot take instruction and follow through. Resulting in a lot of family tension.

This is a really simplistic view but I am trying to understand what a diagnosis will mean for him long term.

In the short term, we are waiting on a formal diagnosis with a specialist paediatrician and an appointment with a speech pathologist.

I am feeling very isolated on this. For years, we have felt as if we just don't understand him. It seems as if he is always unhappy and is the child most likely to turn a happy family outing into a nightmare.

I suppose I am just looking for some support and information.

TIA

A dx will make it easier for you to understand him. You will be able to research aspergers. You will be able to continue your quest to find out ways to help him.

And same for school. It is much easier for them to try all the standard things that often work for children with aspergers if he has a dx.

School will probably also be able to get help from an asd team.

So a dx is normally a very positive and helpful thing.

You will find lots of support and helpful advice on this board. And odds are you will be able to improve lots of things.

There is loads of support on this board and loads of information about ASD online. He sounds like lots of hard work, I guess a dx would give you an understanding of why he behaves as he does, and sometimes by making simple changes to your resposes can make a world of difference.
I found a local support group very helpful but it is hard making that first step but worth it.

When is his appointment for assessment,Pad?

I really feel for you, because the time before a dx (if applicable) is made is so difficult.

DD1 has Asperger's and I recognised a lot of your son's traits in her. Of course, I am not an expert, but I strongly believe in trusting your instincts. If you feel that something isn't 'right', then this needs thorough investigation.

I also knew that dd's behaviour wasn't typical, but kept being told by other people (IL's, etc) that I was over-anxious. It stopped me getting dd the help she needed early on and I will always regret that .

In the long term, a dx is theoretically meant to open doors so your son can access support. In reality, I have found that I have had to push for all of the intervention dd has had, but resources depend on where you live so you may fare better, hopefully.

There's some excellent advice here and I know you will get some excellent advice on this board.

I know it's scary and daunting, but you are doing the right thing in getting your ds assessed -it's the first step to getting him any help he needs.
Best of luck x

My DD aged 11 has Asperger's Syndrome.

Getting the dx has helped enormously with her transition to secondary school as the school understand that some of her needs/difficulties are different to the majority of children.

I recognise a lot of what you describe, but as others have said you need to consult professionals.

Good luck.

Thank you all for your comments/insight.

The autism.org.uk website was a really useful starting point - thanks siblingrivalry.

It's now a waiting game for us. I have been told this morning (I am in Australia) that the appointment with the Developmental Paediatrician will be in about 6 months time - I am really surprised, I thought it would be quicker, but apparently this is a very specialist field and there aren't many doctors in our area.

The speech pathologist is going to be a bit quicker. In the meantime I am trying to take a different tack with DS1 and on the advice of the Psychologist use visual aids to try and get our communication flowing.

Wish us luck

Good luck -let us know how you get on x