Private or state secondary for my son who has mild Aspergers?

[pepsi]

Im thinking private - We have a good comprehensive by us that has 1600 children and a very small private - 150 pupils current - closeby too. He is fine with maths and ok with reading but is literacy is a big struggle. He is in Year 5 and he came out as 2b in year 4 so is a bit behind. If he were there now his class size would be 10, which is a mix of year 4 and 5!!! He is lucky enough to be in a class of 25 at the moment which is good for a state school. I have asked him about it and given him the pros and cons of each and he says he would like the private one because he thinks he will concentrate better there as there will be less noise. As Im writing this it sounds like Ive already made the choice. But what pitfalls could there be for a boy like him. He is very friendly and will try anything. We should be able to afford it too - although it then raises the question as to whether we try and do the same for our younger daughter who will be fine at any school I think, but I would feel guilty if I didnt give them the same.

I think you should send your son to the private school, and your daughter to the state school.

Whats best for one chld isn't best for another.

The private school does sound like a good option for him, but are you sure your DD won't feel jealous that she hasn't had the option to go private? Could you afford both?

Would your DD understand why your DS has a private education, and she didn't?

All my siblings had private education from 11+, I didn't, but I understood why and was never jealous.

I was much more upset that my sister passed the 11+ and I didn't.

Hmm - not sure. My kids are in private, but I think I would probably advise you to go state!

Why?

• private school will likely charge you extra (on top of the fees) for any SN/ learning support lessons.

• State school will probably have better/ better regulated SN/ learning support teaching anyway.

• he is more likely to find other children similar to himself in a bigger school. IMHO a class of 10 is VERY small and it may be harder to form friendships, in that there are simply fewer children to choose from.

We have friends with a son with Aspergers, and they chose State over Private for these very reasons. They have been very happy with their choice.

Have you spoken to either of the schools about what provision they/could make for him. You may find that, unless they have specialist provision already, the private school are less keen/ less able to take him on?

You have to treat each child as an individual, we are in exactly the same boat and have just placed our eldest child in Private sector as State failed. Small classes, teachers have more time, patience understanding and empathy. State schools are run by the state and have constraints as to how much they will do. This is not what your child needs, it should not be a case of we will do what we can when we can. Also most private schools have a continuation of education therefore eliminating need for change which our Aspergers children cannot cope with. Less noise in Private, Less Sensory overload, Small classes, specialised and individualised learning to meet your childs needs rather than one size fits all.
State schools are far too big!!