Reduced timetable because school can’t cope

[Growagardenmom87]

Hi
I hope I can get some advice.
My son is 9 years old and in year 5, and has had a terrible start to the school year, without going into too much outing detail he has found out over the summer that having contact with his father (currently imprisoned) isn’t going to happen due to his father having to stay in prison longer.
I do believe this is probably the root cause of his behaviour.
anyway, since going back to school in September he is so unsettled, won’t stay in class, wanders the corridors, sometimes becomes disruptive, knocks on other classrooms doors and windows, generally makes a nuisance of himself.
He is on the waiting list for an ADHD assessment but I know we’re looking at years for that.
he has been excluded 3 times since September, I have been phoned at least ten times to collect him early, and he was put on a 9am-1pm timetable for the last week before October half term.
i have since found out from a friend who works in a school office these early pick ups and reduced hours are “unofficial exclusions” and I wasnt actually obliged to collect him but school demanded so, telling me they don’t know what to do with him and don’t have the staff or resources to follow him round or sit with him so I HAVE to come down right now.
this week he has been awful and got physical with another student, punching them. Of course I am very angry with him and he’s been punished at home, he also received a 3 day official exclusion for this and school have proposed an official reduced timetable from now until Christmas.
he is in for 1 hour a day next week, 2 hours a day the next week, and building up by an hour per week so on until Christmas.
I am a single parent who works and this is going to be hard, I can probably manage it with annual leave, unpaid time off and help from my mum.
I know he’s an absolute pain in the bum and ultimately how he’s behaving is down to him but he needs some sort of help not constant punishments, is it really acceptable for school to just say they don’t have the staff etc and use this as a reason to pass him back to me and basically keep him away as much as they can to make their own jobs easier?
we have a reintegration meeting Monday morning, is there anything I should be saying or asking them to do?
Thank you

He needs therapy. Fast. Can you afford private. This is spiralling and he is getting violent. I know it’s hard but this is not going to get better and I don’t think you can wait years

I would be admitting you are desperate and very worried and wonder whether the school can refer for counselling

Therapy or at a minimum ELSA support.

Discuss what strategies might help - eg is there a calm down area he could go to rather than just wander around? With lego or something? ie What might work to direct his behaviour to be less disrupting for all?

And consider whether applying for an EHCP might help

• he has or may have ADHD
• school are failing to cope (as seen by the part time timetable)

My mum has offered to pay privately for help yes because we are so worried about him.
do you think I should be prioritising a child counsellor type of thing or a private adhd assessment?

It is worth reading the government’s suspension and exclusion guidance.

The person who told you the school is unlawfully, informally excluding DS is right. They should not be calling you to informally collect DS. They should not be using a part-time timetable to manage behaviour. You don’t have to accept it. You do not have to collect early You can inform the school that DS will be attending full time unless formally suspended. Don’t worry if they do suspend. A formal suspension instead of an unlawful informal exclusions will a) provide evidence of unmet needs to help you pursue further support, b) force the school to follow due process, c) limit the number of days the school can suspend for, d) allow you to challenge any suspension, and e) ensure DS receives alternative education once that threshold is met (if it hasn’t already been met).

Were the 3 suspensions formal suspensions with paperwork? Did you challenge any of them?

Does DS have an EHCP? If not, has a EHCNA been requested? If DS already has an EHCP what support is in the EHCP, is it being provided, and have you requested an early review?

What support is the school providing? What have they already tried? What outside agencies have the asked advice from/referred to?

Speak to Sen department at school
they might even be able to recommend someone
you absolutely must take your your mum’s offer

Thank you.
The 3 suspensions were formal with paperwork yes.
The week of 1pm finishes was arranged over the telephone, as were all the early pick ups.
No EHCP, should I ask for this? He’s not been perfect at school by any means but this has really all ramped up and started since September. He’s really changed.
I was honestly thinking about telling them I don’t agree to the formal reduced timetable but I’m worried if I do defy them and send him in they’ll just look for reasons to get rid of him because I haven’t complied with what they want?
and I honest don’t feel like they’ve done much at all, they have let him go and play UNO with the learning mentor a few times, and sent me some links to parenting courses!
I feel like that’s skirting the issue really, sending me on a parenting course to manage him when really we need to be getting to the bottom of his behaviours.
No offer of outside agency help, I was hoping at the meeting on Monday I could ask them to refer him to an educational psychologist or anger management or something?

Yes, request an EHCNA. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

Going forward, follow up all verbal conversation with emails to create a paper trail.

The school cannot lawfully just get rid of DS becuase you put a stop to the, unlawfully, informally excluding DS.

Is the SENCO attending the meeting on Monday?

The senco is the headteacher. Should I request she is at the meeting?

Yes. Although it may be too late. If it is, request another meeting for another time as well.

Lots of good advice already. For Monday, it might help to take a short written list in with you so nothing gets lost in the room:

• What is the reduced timetable actually for, what support will he get while he's on it, and what's the end date and review date? It should be short term and agreed, not open-ended.
• Can they refer him to the educational psychologist, and bring in any outreach or mental health support team?
• Can they put an SEN support plan in writing? And let them know you're requesting an EHC needs assessment yourself.
• Who is his trusted adult, and where can he go when it all gets too much, instead of wandering the corridors?

On your mum's offer, I'd probably lean towards a counsellor or play therapist first, as the news about his dad over the summer sounds like what's tipped things. A private ADHD assessment can still help, but check first whether your GP will accept a private diagnosis if medication ever comes up.

Then email a summary of what was agreed afterwards. You're clearly fighting his corner.

It should be short term and agreed

I disagree with this. It should not be happening. The suspension and permanent exclusion guidance is clear part-time timetables should not be used to manage behaviour.

The suspension and permanent exclusion guidance is also clear the school must not suspend or exclude just because the school thinks they cannot meet a child’s SEN.

But where there has been violence against another child and the school has reason to believe that might be repeated if the child returns to school the following day?

If the school believes they have lawful grounds to suspend the pupil, they should follow the correct process. Not resort to unlawful informal suspensions and part-time timetables. They should also be looking to put in place measures to ensure the pupil’s needs are met. For example, the OP’s school has not requested an EHCNA, they have not referred to outside agencies, they have not asked outside agencies for advice, it doesn’t sound like they have exhausted school leave SEN support and reasonable adjustments…

The school sounds like it was desperate to protect pupils and took emergency action

Ongoing unlawful action from the school is not emergency action, it is unlawful action. There is never a legitimate excuse for acting unlawfully.

Pretty sure the victim’s parents and indeed other parents have no issue with the school’s approach.

If the Op thinks the school has broken the law multiple times - she should report it

or work with the school and accept that they are in a very difficult position needing to protect other children

What other people think is irrelevant.

Unlawful behaviour is, well, unlawful. It should not excused. Particularly not on a board aimed at supporting parents whose DC have SEN.

Yes, OP should challenge the school.

You can challenge unlawful behaviour and work with the school. They aren’t mutually exclusive options.

I disagree

when we are talking about violence andrisk to other children - it will be a teeny tiny minority that think the school shouldn’t respond urgently and get the child off site.

But 🤷‍♀️ we aren’t going to ever agree on this. I am definitely not in the minority thank goodness

Feel free to disagree.

The school can respond lawfully and still deal with the situation.

Thankfully, the law and statutory guidance exist and they disagree that acting unlawfully is excusable. So, thankfully, what you think is irrelevant.

Well I do and have.

Thanks for your permission though!

As I said, thankfully, irrelevant since acting unlawfully is never excusable in the eyes of the law and statutory guidance.

Going to the meeting and immediately accusing them if acting unlawfully will get their backs up and not actually achieve what you need for DS. It would be better to acknowledge that he has been violent towards others and you know this is not ok. Whilst not ideal, you accept that sending him home for a few days gave everyone time to think (lawful or not, it's done now). However, now they have had time to consider, what of the following can they put in place

1. Providing a quiet space for him to go to if he feels overwhelmed. Perhaps a signal he can give the teacher when he feels he needs to leave.
2. Helping him to recognise his emotions so that he can identify feeling overwhelmed before boiling over and lashing out. You can work on this at home as well, but the pressures are different in school so they may need a different approach
3. Interventions to deal with lost learning
4. Providing a trusted adult he can talk to if needed
5. Referral for counselling to deal with his dad staying longer in prison (I assume they are aware of this?)
6. An agreement that he can have a movement break if needed, to be reviewed if he is clearly mis-using that privilege. This could be with a class / year group TA if there is one, or if the school uses radios, the teacher could call for a named adult.
7. An agreement on what to do if he needs to leave the room. This can work from walking to the end of the corridor and back, to eventually just standing outside the room and taking deep breaths before coming back in

They may have other suggestions. They may feel that some of these things are impractical and that's ok if they can provide solid reasons why and a viable alternative.

Letting the school know you know the law, what they should/should not be doing, and that you will challenge unlawful behaviour is actually part of effectively advocating for DC. You can do that and still work with the school. If you allow the school to act unlawfully without challenge, they will continue to do so.