Going out with child has ADHD and Sensory needs

[Robinthebird]

I am feeling isolated with my 5 years old kid. I need lots of energy to plan the day, to get him ready and to go out. Then while we are outside I need to hold his hand all the time. Or we use our pushchair. If something goes wrong we need to give him some time somewhere in the shopping centre or in the park. That drains me. That makes me exhausted. I cannot find that energy to go out with him. I imagine how bad can this experience be and then just decide to stay at home so I don't have a bad day.

Has DS had a sensory OT assessment?

For the times you don’t use the buggy, would a harness/reins work better than holding DS’s hand all the time?

How is DS’s sleep?

Have you had social care assessments?

I think it is worth thinking about where you take DS. Some DC struggle to cope with places such as shopping centres. None of my DC would cope with that and they are much older than your DS.

Some people find counselling &/or antidepressants help them cope.

If the exhaustion is recent or has recently worsened, it is worth asking the GP about blood tests.

It sounds like the planning stage wears you out just as much as the outing itself, and that's often where small changes make the biggest difference. Some parents find a simple visual schedule, car park, then shop, then the stop for a snack, takes the guesswork out for the child and lightens the load of holding the whole plan in your head. Building in proper recovery time afterwards seems to matter too, so the day doesn't go straight back into demands once you're home. None of that touches the sensory side, but making the predictable parts more predictable can leave you a bit more energy for the moments that actually need it.