ASD, sixth form transition and social anxiety

[Owninterpreter]

My son is struggling to transition to his new sixth form. He was in a tiny special school for asd, but aged out. The new FE college is small and based around creative subjects which he is good at.

He is getting increasingly anxious about the social aspect, not less anxious as he settles. (He has cptsd from a previous school experience, under camhs for it)

He is beyond exhausted by all the talking. He struggles to keep up with the pace of conversation, he doesnt know the social side of when/how to join in or not. The course involves group work.

I dont know if letting him leave would help or actually worsen his mental health as he would then regret leaving the course. He could also become very isolated.

These decisions never get easier! Anyone got advice based on sen experience on how to know work out which is the path to worse mental health. Feeling reget and isolated or increasing anxiety having to socialise with a social communication disorder that gives genuine barriers.

This is tricky. As you say, there are no easier answers. I don’t think there is one right answer either.

Have you spoken to the college? What support is in the EHCP, and is it being provided?

Is the course all group work? If not, could the course leaders timetable Wednesday as a non-groupwork group to enable DS to have a ‘down’ day midweek?

Does the college select the groups or is it left to the students? I wonder if a more carefully chosen group would help DS.

Thank you. The college seem good. All the support in the ehcp seems to have been set up. Just ds feels like it makes him look stupid (in his mind(

The group seem roughly chosen to balance genders and skill level but i thi k they change each half term.

Its a good idea to see if there can be a non group day for a rest day.

Is the course full time? Any chance he could do it part time?

It is full time but full time in FE is 16 hours.

The course structure doesnt allow for part time unfortunately as that probably would help.

How does DS travel to/from college? If possible, I’m wondering if making that journey easier would give DS more bandwidth for college itself. Saving his spoons for college, if you like.

On the days DS is at college over lunchtime, what does he do then? I ask for similar reasons.

Also, does DS have large chunks of trapped time?

He goes on a train which is tiring. He does have large chunks of trapped time.

What does DS do in the trapped time? Is there somewhere quiet/alone he could go to? Is there any possibility of the college adjusting the timetable to reduce the amount?

You could look at a taxi/LA transport. The LA may well push back on this, but it is worth pursuing if you think it would help.

@roaringdragon
Thank you for responding again. I got tied up supporting him.

College does have a quiet space but part of the issue is my son doesnt want to look different or stand out. The others all go for lunch together and then sit and chat and he (in his view) looks odd to not go with them and then if he doesnt he misses out of the friendship building they are all doing. So he goes back in after break and he cant join in the chit chat then.

I really feel for him, what he needs is clashing with what he wants at the moment. I sound bit negative on ideas because its quite a bit about how he feels about his asd and his place in the world too I think.

Its early days..I hope a couple of days rest gets him to try again next week with a bit of his battery restored.

Thank you for supporting. Mn can be harsh and its nice to get constructive help.

Would therapy/ talking about it help? Of course he wants to fit in, but he also needs to embrace and love who he is. Being different =/= being stupid, but that's hard for a teenager to accept.

You don’t sound negative. They are just ideas, they won’t work for everyone. If they won’t work for your DS, it is OK to say so.