Autistic y6 child finding problems with all the secondary schools we visit

[holymolybalamory]

I’m losing my mind. So far DD has toured 4 schools, 2 state and 2 private and all of them she seems unsatisfactory for no reason at all.

so far we’ve had:
”it’s fine but I’m not coming here”
”it gives me a bad feeling” with we no reason as to why
“it’s creepy” also with no explanation
and the best yet was today: “the teachers are a bit floppy here, I won’t go to this school either”

so far no idea what to put down and whether she’ll sit the entrance exams.

she is diagnosed ASD which is of course part of it but I do think she’s just being bloody contrary too

no question - just a rant!

OK, well it may be necessary to forget entrance exam ones if she's that unmotivated...

What DOES motivate her?

Would she respond to a spreadsheet with all the pros and cons you can find out or think of?

The thought of transition can be extremely anxiety provoking for some. This may be less about the individual schools and more about the upcoming transition in general. It is new and different and can be scary for some.

The bad feeling with no reason given may be because DD doesn’t even know exactly why she is feeling like she is, let alone be able to communicate that.

Have you spoken to the SENCOs at any of the schools?

When my DC moved to secondary, we listened to what DC had to say, but we made the decisions. So I would make the decision rather than just go on what DD says.

She also sounds quite young for her age. Are you perhaps involving her too much in a decision she can't really grasp the implications of? I let my autistic DD rank schools in order once we'd visited but I'd already done a lot of prior research. I wouldn't have taken her to see any I didn't think would work to some extent for her needs and profile, and I'd already considered travel etc and had a look at the GCSE and post 16 offer and the SEND support (DD does have an EHCP though so I had the option of considering non local schools without needing to sit an entry test).

Then it was a case of convincing her the one I thought ticked most boxes WAS the best by steering her towards the cool DT makes and science experiments!

You should ask SENCOs about enhanced transition as I agree re anxiety.

For DD1 we visited 11 different schools(state and private) and it was fascinating to see her physical reaction to them. We stressed that she could let us know her preference and would be required to rank the schools (literally with names on pieces of paper and we created a ladder), but that the ultimate choice was ours (which took the pressure off).

Some schools I thought were fine but she just shut down completely. Something about the location/layout triggered her. Other schools I disliked but she was relaxed and happier, so they went on the list despite my perception. She also took various entrance tests but I told her that as long as she did her best, I didn’t care about the result - it was all to widen her options.

I’m glad we cast the net so wide, as we ended up finding the perfect school for her. But it was hugely stressful.

Hi All, same situation here. DD Y6 with ASD and on pathway for ADHD RTC assessment, EHCP. Trying to look at schools, starting with local ones, but all enormous, 1200+. We are in Hackney and have to give school preferences by 25th of September. Any recommendations? Can be out of borough, but accessible? She would not like to sit any tests.
Thank you.

@readingrecord Just in case you aren’t aware, you can’t be forced to give your secondary preferences by 25th September. Despite what some LAs say, phase transfer parents do not have to complete a separate form by a set deadline. If you decide to complete it, you can change your mind as part of the phase transfer process. The phase transfer meeting should be held in the next couple of months. Following that meeting, you should get an amendment notice and have at least 15 days to comment and state your preferred placement.

You might be better starting your own thread for recommendations and including details about DD’s needs and the support she requires. What suits one DC won’t suit some other pupils depending on their profile.

@roaringdragon Thank you for responding again. Despite my protests and complaints, the school are not accepting that the AR that will happen in Y6 is a phase transfer. They have verbally offered me to have an emergency review, if I insist on one. Not sure if the emergency review will count as phase transfer. In the meantime, I am desperately rushing to try and see schools and drag tired DD to see some of them too. Looking for schools with exceptional SEN support and will start a new thread soon. Thank you.

@readingrecord Speak to the LA. The LA is the one who is responsible for the AR process.

Emergency ARs follow the same process as normal ARs.

Thanks for the replies.

yes she is very anxious generally, long list of phobias etc and associated symptoms. She’s usually very reasonable though and can talk out most issues.

We have told her that she can have an opinion but ultimately we’ll choose and that did clam her down for a bit. But she’s uppity again now. Her dad and I have a strong opinion on one school we think is perfect for her but she won’t have it. Great idea about ranking them, I’ll definitely get her to do that.

I seem to be more likely to encounter a rainbow striped unicorn than meet an actual SENCO.

Keep plugging away at trying to speak to SENCOs. It takes perseverance but is needed.

If DD is generally anxious, has a long list of phobias and has associated symptoms, have you considered requesting an EHCNA? Particularly with the upcoming transition in mind.

Thanks for the reply @roaringdragon we’ll have to consider it. She masks really well at school and is under a paediatrician for the rest. At the moment school have accommodations in place and we’ve not had a need for anything more formal. I think depending on the school we may need to though. The primary teachers are concerned she won’t cope so well at high school.

im not sure what the process is with EHCNA

My plan is to see what offers we get and then plan for whichever we choose

@roaringdragon Thank you, will do.
@holymolybalamory Sorry to hijack your thread. Are you in London and are you looking at mainsteam schools?

I would request an EHCNA now rather than wait. Any decision now should take into account the upcoming transition. You can request an EHCNA yourself. On their website, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

Thank you. I’m looking at IPSEA now.

what sort of transition and high school support should I ask for her?

I would be requesting more transition visits, DD meeting some of the staff, meeting with the SENCO to prepare an IEP/pupil passport/whatever the school calls it so support is in place from the beginning of Y7. If necessary starting visits after school so it is quieter. Without an EHCP, you may be more limited as to what the school offers. With an EHCP, transition arrangements can be included in the EHCP.

Although even if you request an EHCNA now, you may not have an EHCP by the start of Y7. Some have to appeal, and the wait for appeals is long.

I don't think you should consider a school where you can't get a meeting with the senco. Your DD just sounds nervous about transition. How has the ranking idea worked out? Sounds an excellent approach.