Autism, Sleep issue or something else?

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My DD is 5 and I have always had the feeling there is ‘something else’ going on, but after 5 years I still don’t know what it is/how to help her.

These are the things I notice which seem different to her peers:

She lacks ‘staying power’ and is often exhausted by being out for just a few hours. Sleeps generally well but still chews a comforter to get to sleep.

Very strong willed and tries to direct us a lot.

Struggles with emotional regulation. Can be quite sensible/reasonable but can absolutely flip out when tired/hungry/needs a wee. Struggles to recognise own internal cues eg hungry/need a wee. Often gets angry instead of sad. Used to hit me a lot but now mainly just screams/seems to lose control.

Struggles with transitions eg end of school day, pick up from holiday club etc.

Easily overwhelmed by noisy/busy places. Hates hand-dryers, struggles with family theatre shows etc or kids discos.

Very articulate and can be quite pedantic/corrects adults etc.

Finds it hard to play independently but then can sometimes hyper focus on something for 30 mins plus on her own terms (quite rarely).

Very sensitive to sugar and tv.

Does anyone else have a child like this? I keep wondering about ASD but then also wonder if it’s more of a sleep issue that’s having a knock on effect? She’s also very clever, funny and creative and has many other lovely qualities. Just find it hard seeing her struggle with things many other children take in their stride. Any advice/thoughts welcome!

She could still be masking in the holidays. All sorts of situations can be overwhelming for them.
You mentioned she’s “Easily overwhelmed by noisy/busy places. Hates hand-dryers, struggles with family theatre shows etc or kids discos.”
Day to day life that we take for granted can still be too much causing them to mask without us realising.
I believe I’m ND myself. The more I’ve looked into it for my son, the more I recognise in myself.
I enjoy family or friend get togethers, but after so long I just sort of zone out as it becomes overwhelming for me.
When I get home from work I am exhausted and need alone time for about an hour before I can make my brain focus on the next thing I need to do, such as prepare dinner.

In relation to why you have still seen dysregulation in the holidays, DD probably has a period of decompression at the start of the holidays and a period of anticipation building towards the end. This could very well be a longer period than you think.

Then you add in a myriad of things such as a change of routine, potentially a lack of routine/more unstructured time (for this reason we have quite a structure home life. My DSs can’t cope without that), potentially overstimulating activities/holidays/days out, potentially different sensory overwhelm, seeing different people, different environments…

How is DD’s eating?

Does DD chew things during the day or is it only at night?

That drive home will be good for her, I have no doubt about it! Blast some music she likes or turn off the music, you’ll know her best.

the movement I suggested could also be done after getting in instead of before getting home. You could have a look at doing some sensory circuits to incorporate things when home? All to do with feel:touch that as you discover likes/dislikes can be adjusted.

being unpredictable is very normal! A child not on a spectrum can be the exact same. A child I know holds in all day and then F’s and blinds all the way home to the parent as an outlet to what’s been held in all day (ADHD) all whilst cycling… movement and release is the way I see it. Doesn’t say a bad word to a single other person but it works for them! Wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t witnessed and they were horrified I’d heard!

I work in a school myself and heard about it there. If you google local play therapists you’ll find one, or perhaps school could point you in the right direction. I contacted them myself and arranged

Following on from the person who mentioned sleep apnoea, I’d also recommend discussing with GP in terms of blood test for nutritional deficiencies - Vitamin D and Iron in particular (I’m a dietitian). Esp if her diet is a bit limited in terms of iron sources and/or she hasn’t been taking Vit D supplementation. Deficiencies of either can impact mood and energy levels. Very important to rule out physical causes of the issues you’ve mentioned alongside the other avenues you’re exploring.

T

Hi, I just wanted to comment to say I could have written your post myself. I haven't read all of the comments but I've read all of your replies and my DD 5 is exactly the same. Ok top of what you've mentioned she will not sleep past 5.30 am and rarely has since a baby even though we try all of the suggestions.

I wish I could suggest anything in way of support but we struggle daily to manage our DD although she is very sweet and bright as you say about your own DD. Sending solidarity.

I would love an update of you do get anywhere with referrals as we are just not taken seriously due to DD being intelligent and managing well enough in school.

Thanks for your replies everyone. Lots of food for thought and some ideas to try. I think I’ll definitely pursue the referral and look into any physical causes at the same time. Sorry to hear you have some of the same challenges @QuarryQueen, I hope you get some answers too.