Can I ask for female one to one support in his EHCP?

[Kyrx94]

Hi,

my son has had his EHCP approved the school he’s going to in September did not keep me in contact or in the loop with any of the hiring process until I chased them last week and asked them for the job spec they have been awarded enhanced funds. He is non-verbal still in nappies and gets dysregulated a lot. After chasing them up, they have emailed me back today stating they have found one-on-one support for him and hired someone, however it is a man. My son is not comfortable with men I am a domestic abuse survivor and it really traumatised me and my child. It took him three years to build a relationship with my dad who he now loves however he only surrounds himself with females because he is super soft and affectionate and women are naturally nurturing and he loves the softness from that he surrounds himself by girls at Nursery as again they're less boisterous. I completely know this is something he won’t settle with however I don’t really know if I have much say in this? Especially now that they have hired someone and we’re going into the six weeks holidays can I even suggest re-hiring? I just know this will leave him really anxious and with me having to deal with the fallout at home at Nursery he only surrounded himself by female key workers at home. I have four sisters and only female friends and that’s his comfort whereas men really catch him off guard and he becomes Really anxious and upset.

The school doesn’t have to involve you in the recruitment process.

If female only staffing is required to meet DS’s SEN, it should be included in F of the EHCP. Is it?

Speak to the school. You need to separate why female staff are required because of DS’s needs, e.g. because of the effects of witnessing DV, from how much you want female staff because they are stereotypically ‘affectionate’, ‘naturally nurturing’, have ‘softness’ and that DS is surrounded by female adults and hasn’t been exposed to male carers in settings. The fact DS only has female friends at nursery isn’t relevant to staffing. I would also try to not fall into the trap of thinking all boys are boisterous and all girls are less boisterous.