Right, gulp, I am thoroughly confused - I need good solid advice and a cuddle from those further down this road please

[mumoftrio]

Hello

My ds1 is going to be 7 in Jan.

He has always been quirky - I love him to bits for this but its evident.

He has completed one year at school - total non event has not managed to learn 'normally' and has struggled in lots of ways.

School promised psychological services input - so far, nada.

Its not a great school and I cant see him staying, I am sad about this but they dont seem interested in kids with sen, sad but true

I feel unless I love him to some shool with better resources the years will pass and he will be further and further behind.

Took him to a friend who was an ex head of education - she diagnosed off the record, a severe processing problem and she suspects autism.

I am so confused though. He is social (doesnt quite get it but hey) ye learning, typically is evading him.

I dont know where to start or anything much about autism or aspergers really other than what I am reading online.

I am facing a school move now to get him the help he clearly needs and also what routes should I go down?

CHT said no to health visitor referall.

sorry for typos - upset.

maybe see if you can get him to your local psychology services - via GP if the school appears crap and doing nothing. Have a hug, hang in there and things will sort themselves. He's still young and you are on the right track now. Would also suggest Ed Psych assessment asap but you're doing the right thing looking at a school that can address his needs better if you're not happy that the current one is doing enough for him.
Maybe also try 'scheduling' - pictures or photos or words, whatever he understands best, in a list for what he's going to do that day. Some children just need "now and next" and others (my ds included, who's severely dyslexic and has a shite memory) can cope with almost a full day worth of stuff that he's going to do. He goes frantic if he doesn't know who is picking him up from school or what he's having for dinner - I also suspect an ASD streak in there but we deal with it ourselves atm, I'm an sen (autism specialist) teacher. Which isn't necessarily meaning I know how your ds is thinking or where to go next, but I couldn't see this and not post. Good luck, sorry if this lot's jumbled I think I'm typing faster than my brain is actually working

and here, have some (((hugs)))

giggle

falling asleep on keyboard

and baby awake thnks for reply will come back and discuss in the am xx

You do not need a HV referral. You need to go to your GP and request a referral to a developmental paediatrician. These people can diagnose.

I would find another school for your son to attend; this current one does not seem at all interested in wanting to help him with his additional needs.

Im back

Thanks ladies, I think thats what Ill do then - such a long weird road eh.

I feel worried for my ds as if he is now a ticking time bomb I know thats ridiculous

Children with autism show so many different "symptoms" you can't tell by just looking at things they should or shouldn't do. My ds has ASD and there are things he "shouldn't" be able to do but he does and vice versa. Atilla is right, I think about not needing the hv referral, go to your gp and ask him what and who you need to speak to/do next.

My ds is doing sooooo well now and that is largely due to the help and support he has had. Don't give up until your ds is in the right place for him.

He has you on his side, and you know him better than anyone!

sending reassuring hugs your way!

thanks

what help has your ds had

is he in a mainstream school that has helped him tons? sorry all the questions

Don't worry you're bound to have loads of questions!!

My ds will be 5years old in September. He is in an assessment centre which is attached to a mainstream school so imo has the best of both worlds. He has a brilliant speech and language therapist who has helped him the most. Speach is I think the biggest hurdle for my ds, at least now he can tell us how he is feeling, what he wants and what he knows. It isn't great yet but for him its brilliant.

I would say, don't read too much on the internet. Get a diagnosis first. Then take it from there.

There are quite a lot on mums on here for support if you do get a diagnosis of autism

mumoftrio, why don't you pop over to the Special Needs: Children section on here? There are lots of us at various stages and lots of posters with children on the ASD spectrum

My ds has an ASD diagnosis, we had to go through the clinical psychologist who we were referred to by the school nurse. The best thing I did was change schools. I told the head we thought he had special needs and let her do the talking to see what she really thought, too many will just nod and smile and you think they know what they are on about but they just see ££££££ (sad but true ime)

Best book I read to help me get my head around it was this, I got if from the library. Its easy to read and funny in places and really helped me understand why he struggled with some stuff.

If it makes you feel better my little chap was pleased as punch with his diagnosis, all the best scientists have ASD so he has seen it as his ticket to world domination!

Thanks guys

The weird thing is I just see my first ds as quirky I dont think I THINK he has autism or is on a spectrum or maybe I just dont WANT TO

I cant decide

lougle where is the Special Needs: Children section cant find you! x

Somebody (with autism) who travels the world giving talks about it says that Autism is a diffability not a dissability - they just see things differently to others.

Once you learn to try and see things their way it all makes a bit more sense and life is easier.

I know everyone is different and have different experiences etc etc but to try and explain what I mean by using my ds as an example: he hated baths, used to scream and not want to get into the bath. But once I had discovered that it was that he couldn't see his feet when they went under the bubbles - the solution was easy, leave the bubbles out!! Now he loves his bathtime!!

I know that is a simple example and I know that things aren't always as easy as that, but I just wanted to say - as daunting as it all may seem now you'll find a way of helping your son and you'll both feel better for it.

People may see a diagnosis as a "label" but imo its a "label" that gets help where it is needed!

mumoftrio, go to 'Topics', scroll down to 'Special Needs', then you will see a topic called Special Needs: Children.

In fact, just CLICK HERE

thanks lougle

I presume Ill see you there