Could my 3 yr old have autism or delayed.

[IrishMumOf1]

Hi long post warning. My toddler is 3 next month. He has very few words. He understands everything. But has very few words about 15 in total. Has never put a sentence together. Bad at feeding himself. No attempts to dress himself etc. He has several tantrums a day because I don't know what he wants and he immediately flies off the handle if I don't understand him. He slams doors , tries to jam his fingers in the door, repeatedly bangs his head on the floor. Doesn't point to things or react to pointing . Bites and scratches me.
He doesn't really know how to play with other kids. Doesn't understand how to share. I could go on all day. I know I shouldn't compare but he is so different to kids his age and younger. He's very clever in his own way. He knows the alphabet, counts to 20 and can count in tens. He understands what I'm saying but doesn't communicate back. He takes me by the hand to show me what he wants.
How do I help him. I'm so frustrated i want to help him but don't know how. He didn't crawl till 11 months and didn't walk till 15 months. He wasn't a very gabbly baby either. I don't know if it's special needs or just overly spoiled and a bit behind. If anyone has advice I'd be so grateful.

Possibly, but not necessarily.

However, you have a number of concerns and they would be investigated further by people with specialist knowledge.

Does he go to Nursery ? If so, arrange an appointment with the SENCo and explain your concerns and ask them what he is like there.

Go to your HV and ask for a referral for further investigation.
It helps if you can write out a bullet point list of your concerns before you get there, as if you are there, wrangling your dc, you will almost certainly miss things and be annoyed with yourself afterwards. If you go prepared, it will help focus the meeting.