Please please please talk to me about night time & tell me what i'm doing wrong

[Newbeginning1]

DS is 17 weeks old and night time is just an absolute nightmare.

I've noticed that 7.30pm is when he likes to be asleep by but then also gets sleepy at about 6.30pm so i've tried working his bath and bed round this but if so he won't go to sleep until about 8 or 9.During the day he's been having naps on me if we're at home and then I have to rock him to sleep to get him to go off.

What do you do in your night time routine and what time do you do things? Any advice you can give is greatly appreciated because i'm at my wits end.

What happens during the night that you want to change?

Hi new has sleep always been bad?

There's a massive growth spurt/developmental leap at 4-5 months which throws everything.

My DS did the same as yours - we'd put him to bed at half 7 but he'd wake up after 45 mins and it would be very hard to get him back to sleep til 9/10 ish. We had noticed he looked tired about an hour before.

What we did to tackle was sort out his naps - particularly the last one of the day. So made sure he woke from that nap no later than 5. Then we started his bedtime routine once he woke - so everything calm, quiet bath/play, change, story, feeding by 6. First time we did it he slept til his next feed!

I also made sure he wasn't awake more than 90 mins at a time in the day as he'd get overtired and not sleep at night. And getting him up at the same time every morning (7am) helps - although I didn't believe it at first! If I did all of those things I'd get a better night - but usually I didn't and paid for it.

It has taken weeks for his sleep to finally get on track -like you I was convinced I was doing it wrong. Yes I rocked him to sleep and he slept on me for naps (still does sometimes at 7 months!).

Your baby is going through quite a lot of mental and physical changes so just stick with the early bedtime routine and regular naps. I promise it wil get better!

My baby is 17 weeks old too and I second what Iggly said; you need to sort out his naps in order to fix bed time. I started doing this last week and the difference already is amazing - we now have our evenings back. In case it helps, this is the rough routine that we have devised that works for us;

8am - get up and feed and play.
around 9.15 ish, put down in cot and soothe to sleep (usually around an hour).

Wake up and feed. Activity time.

1pm (ish) back in cot for sleep (can also be out and about in push chair). This is the long sleep and can last 2 hrs or more.

Feed when wakes up and then play.

5pm ish. Short nap. No more than 40 mins.

Feed, play.

7pm bath time.

7.30 Feed and in bed by 8pm.

She usually then wakes around 2am for a feed.

When we manage this routine the nights are great. On the days I fall of the wagon then I pay for it at night. Good luck.

off not of sorry.

Is 8 or 9 bad for a 17 week old? isn't that quite normal?

seeker - i want to change him having naps on me in the daytime and at night I want us to get into a routine where he will go down without such a fuss and it doesnt take so long. He's also waking every 2 hours and although I feed him I think he is waking for comfort and because he can't sleep unless in my arms.

igglybuff - he only slept in his moses basket from 8 weeks, before then we were co sleeping or i was staying up holding him and not sleeping. I'll have to try getting us up at the same time every morning and see how that works.

blameitonthebogey - it sounds like your DC doesn't have many naps compared to DS. He will literally wake up and be hungry then play then want food again to get to sleep and we do this constantly through the day nd he feeds every 2 hours. He seems to only be able to sleep for 45 minutes at a time even if he's on me so he never has that long nap.

How do you all get your LO's to sleep? Have any of you used the Baby Whisperer or any of the other techniques?

Hiya, it is horrible isn't it? My ds woke every two hours for, well, you don't want to know how long, so you do have my sympathies.

Is he having a miserable time getting to sleep? Could it be colic? Or is he a bit old (fuzzy sleep-deprived memory failure...)

new I could only get my DS to sleep longer than 45 minutes by using a sling. Or sleeping on me. I'd start to pat him at around 30 mins which could get him to relax come 45 mins and sleep longer. In the cot he might do an hour now he's older. It's quite common at this age that they don't want to nap for long. Just keep trying and one day you might be surprised.

Because your DC is used to sleeping on you, he might prefer sleeping on his front (I assume that's how he sleeps on you?) that's how my DS now sleeps and sleeps longer for it - his first 8 hour stretch at night was when he worked out how to flip onto his front at 6 months.

You could try the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth pantley - she recommends making the Moses basket/cot more sleep friendly especially for babies used to sleeping on mum. So we got an organic lambskin (not treated with heavy metals) for DS to sleep on.

My DS slept on me for the first 3-4 months - he had reflux so wouldn't lie on his back. It wasn't until we had him diagnosed and got medication that we were able to get him in his cot. Which took a while - after a feed, I'd lie him on his left hand side and gently pat his bum to sleep. It didn't always work but it got him used to the cot.

The approach I took was to get him napping by any means possible in the day. Then he'd not be too overtired and more amenable to sleeping in his cot. Once used to the cot, I could work on (and still am) getting him to nap longer in the cot.

Sorry - last para I meant I got DS to nap by any means in the day so we could tackle the nights. Now we've sorted that, we went back to getting him to nap in his cot. I tried the other way (naps then night sleep) but it didn't work.

Basically he needed his day sleeps to be relaxed enough for night sleep!

hate to say it but 4-5months sleep regression happened to my DS and ALL his little friends. Hell on earth - do whatever you can to survive.

Although the thought did occur to me, if he's tired at 6:30, why not put him to bed then? Think we did that around that age as he was waking early too and I'd been told putting him to bed earlier rather than later might sort it out - which it did

Is the sleep regression something that sorts itself out when he starts weaning?

It really is like a slow torture as DS is up at 4/5 screaming and then he fights going back own after waking every 2 hours or not going to sleep.

Lovely.

HI New,
Someone suggested to me once to put a T shirt (or something similar) that I'd been wearing into the moses basket so baby could smell me & would be comforted. - I was worried he would get wrapped up in it etc, so I actually used one like a fitted sheet & slipped the matress thing into the T shirt so he laid on it. It did help a little but he never seemed to have the difficulties your LO seems to have.
May be worth a try. x

Thanks woobie. I've tried that but he seems to settle better when there isn't my smell if that makes sense? I think it might be because when he smells me that close i'm normally holding him whilst he sleeps. I've even resorted to putting a sheepskin rug in his cot so that it retains some of his body heat etc so it's more like i'm cuddling him.

The things we do for sleep.