It takes me over 2 hrs to settle my 10 wks old in the evening, what am I doing wrong?

[M78]

My DD2 is rocked to sleep, I know it is not ideal, but she suffers from reflux and I feel I can't put her down and let her scream after feeds. During the day she is ok, she falls asleep in my arms within 2 minutes of me picking her up, but in the evening she will fight this for at least 2hrs, screaming, then falling asleep and then crying again. She looks overtired, but I don't understand why as she sleeps between 9-11, 12.30-14.30 and 15.30-16.15, and then I start bedtime routine at 17.30/17.45.Once asleep she sometimes sleeps until 1am, sometimes keeps waking up every 15 min until I feed her to sleep again. What am I doing wrong? This is killing me as I have to walk up and down for 2hrs every night and I don?t get to spend any time with my poor 7yrs old, who is starting to think that having a sister was not such a great idea! I really don't know what I should do differently, why is she so unsettled in the evening? I give her a bottle of EBM before bedtime as she is doesn't feed well from the breast at this time. Thanks!

probably nothing. mine was the same and it is hellish. she did grow out of it by about 5 months or so.

We just cuddled her in front of the telly until she finally gave in and drifted off. Sorry, that's probably not much help.

I wish I could offer some brilliant advice M78 but I can offer sympathy! My first DS used to scream from 7pm to 10pm every evening - classic 'colic' if indeed it exists.

We tried all the over the counter things - Infacol, Colief etc - to no effect. Eventually he just grew out of it, as my HV said he probably would, as their digestive system matures at 3 to 4 months - by the time he was 4 months old he was like a different child. I know that 4 months old probably seems like a lifetime away but it may be that when your DD is a few weeks older she'll just naturally grow out of it. I hope so! Good luck.

I think it is normal for babies to be unsettled in the evening, sorry! - normal for mine anyway.... They all went through a phase of feeding/falling asleep/waking/feeding/napping in the evening at this age. I used to put the older ones to bed and then bring the baby back downstairs and then feed him on the sofa and let him sleep in my arms in between feeds until I was ready for bed myself.

It is lovely when you get your evenings back though!

Is it too much stimulation maybe? With my DS, if I stay in the room or pick him up, he doesn't settle down and go to sleep. Sometimes he cries for a bit, but we don't pick him up, just stick the dummy back in and leave the room. I only go in if he's crying for more than a few minutes, as I've noticed sometimes he does just stop and go to sleep on his own.

Could you maybe just hold her upright for 20 minutes after the feed to deal with the reflux, and then put her down alone whether asleep or not?

YanknCock, I have tried giving her the dummy, but when she is upset it seems to put her in a worse mood.... I am also putting her to sleep on her tummy because of the reflux, but if I put her down awake in that position she gets really frustrated as she can't lift her head and keep it up for very long yet. I just don't understand why she is so agitated and unsettled, keeping in mind that she does get plenty of sleep during the day...

Yup, think it's very common. Think we used combination of walking round in sling/rocking, asleep on me in front of telly and pretty much constant bf - it calmed down after 3 months or so. I know by 6mths ds was in bed alone for the evening, so must have stopped by then!! Lots of sympathies and good luck.

Lots of sympathy from me too, DS was 'colicky' until about 16 weeks and then it suddenly settled down.

Is this worth a try? Sorry it's R+J, but it does look amazing, wish I'd known about it when DS was in his colic mode.

We found the Tiger in a Tree hold really helpful which is the hold he uses but we didn't do any of the shushing etc.

Not sure if you're BF or FF, but BF babies often cluster feed in the evening (i.e. little and often, to get the hind milk). I don't see why FF babies should want to do the same thing.

Could you put her on her back but raise the head of the cot or basket? I've seen that suggested on a few websites re: reflux, don't know if it actually works. With the Amby hammock the head is a little raised, and you can make it even higher if your baby has problems with reflux. Plus if they wake up and move, the whole thing bounces a bit and is supposed to settle them. Don't know if I just have a really easy baby or the hammock is doing its job!

Montifer I've just watched that R&J clip and am amazed!! Like you say I wish I'd known about that when DS1 was a baby, he cried non-stop for hours. Am definitely going to bookmark that guy's website for when DS2 arrives in April.

M78 how are you getting on? Did any of the advice help?

Mine was the same, lasted about 2 months then she grew out of it. I spent hours pacing up and down with her in a sling whilst she screamed. It does pass but it feels like an eternity!