10 month old that can only sleep when being pushed outside in pram - PLEASE HELP!!

[Gilliana1]

My 10 month old daughter can only sleep when she is taken out the house and pushed in her pram. I guess I've encouraged this behaviour as it has been an easy and relaxing way to get her to sleep during the spring/summer months. Once she is asleep I push her in the house and she stays asleep in the pram. She sleeps in her cot at night, falls asleep feeding and I lift her in.

But she is now hardly fits in the pram (and won't sleep in pushchair) and I am getting worried about my safety walking her about in the dark at night (I'm on my own) as I don't live in a very safe area.

I've tried putting her to sleep during the day in her cot, almost going through nighttime routine, but she isn't having any of it and SCREAMS until I pick her up. I've tried walking away but end up in a sobbing mess in another room after a period of time.

Can someone recommend some books with good techniques? I've heard about controlled crying, is there a book on this technique? Is there any other ways (the crying gets to me)? I need to learn how to get her to settle in her cot without being 'bumped' along the pavements and looking at the sky go past!!!!

Thank you very much
Gilliana

I'm not a fan of controlled crying. Unbearable for the parent, and teaches the child you won't come when they need you, which seems like the wrong message to me.

My DS was just like your daughter, and three weeks ago we started training him to sleep in his moses basket instead (he's only 3 months though). I've used a version of the baby whisperer's pick up/put down to settle him - basically as soon as he cries I pick him up, pat him until he's calm, then I put him down again. Started off doing this for almost the whole nap time, but now I only need to pick him up once or twice, he lets out a big sigh, and starts to close his eyes. It helps if I also keep a hand on him after I've put him down for about 30 seconds or so. I'm also swaddling and using a dummy, although he mostly spits it out. So it's worked ok for us, although I still need to figure out how to get him to sleep for longer than 45 minutes.

I think pick up/put down is for younger babies but I might be wrong-it's been a while since I read The Baby Whisperer.
Ok,so you have decided that you want your DD to sleep in the cot for her daytime naps.I recently did controlled crying with my DD (when she was 15 months) and the results were very quick.You do go in reguarly and tell them that it's ok but that it's time to sleep.Therefore they know they're not abandoned but also that you're not going to pick them up.The book I used is called Teach Your Child to Sleep Through the Night.I can't remember the authors (2 men I think)but you will see it on Amazon.It's quite an old looking book.
The other thing is that you said you feed your baby to sleep before bed so it sounds like she needs to be in her pram or fed to sleep so you might want to sort out both,one step at a time though!
I would also recommend The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems by Tracey Hogg as she explains loads of stuff in there.
hope some of that helps!

def agree with above - did the same to get our ds to take naps in room - would go in and explain soothingly it was nap time, sometimes i would spend an hour getting him to sleep for 30 mins but persevere and do not give up and most importantly, whatever method you chose to sort this, be consistent. Good luck

This man talks a lot of sense, lots of little videos on sleep issues:

www.videojug.com/interview/healthy-sleep-for-children

My DD would not nap unless on breast or pram and now she naps in her cot after we sleep trained her - we started with naps so as soon as she displyed sleepy signals, (eye rubs) we would do a quick nappy change, very short story and into cot, saying time for nap, and ensured she has a familar cuddy and it worked. Same routine every time is key. Still works. Its just night times she likes to resist now!!

if you don't like the crying, another book you might want to try out of the library is Elizabeth Pantley No cry sleep solution. - It's a much gentler way to sleep train your baby, so as a result, will take longer, but there is no crying involved, lots of options to try (you use as many as you think will work for you) and she puts things in like "If it's not working one night, go back to what does work, then start again the next night" - so you don't feel like a failure if you don't follow things to the letter.

She explains how she managed to stop her DS feeding to sleep, how to gently ease your DC off the boob at bedtime and suggests different sleep cues you can use, such as gentle relaxing music, a comforter (e.g. taggies type thing, not dummy), sleep words as they're falling asleep that you start using earlier in the process etc.

(We enjoy the baby einstein lullaby classics cds, very relaxing - but we're not classical music snobs in our house - some people think it's a disgrace to call them classical music!)

or, Millpond Sleep clinic have a sleep solutions book too. they give lots of scenarios and 2 solutions - 1 if you're ok with using CC and another if not.

I still have a DD who relies on the boob to sleep though - am booked out after a DS who was a crap sleeper, so she mostly BFs to sleep for her naps and def at bedtime too. I keep thinking I must sort it out, but am too tired to do anything about it - crazy isn't it?!!

I did/am doing the No Cry Sleep Solution and I would say it's not entirely tear-free. The first couple of days DD sobbed when I put her down and no amount of picking up or comforting helped. She would recover when I picked her up and sob when I put her down. So we ended up doing a version of CC (soothing her while she lay in her bed but not picking her up) which took a couple of days.

She's an obstinate little pill darling, so we still have some tantrums when we want her to go to bed but she wants to get up and play, however now they are mercifully short lived.

"My child won't sleep" by Jo Douglas and Naomi Richman is an old, but very helpful book. Try Amazon.

Also - massage is wonderful for small children who find it difficult to relax. It sounds as if she is overtired by the time you are doing bed time. Perhaps you need to start winding down earlier?

3littlefrogs, I don't know if your post was directed at me, but I thought I would respond anyway.

DD hates massage. I had all those lovely antenatal classes and sessions and dreams of massaging my baby while the lights were low and the camera had a soft filter but she won't have it. She hates her legs being touched unless we are playing a tickle game. She extra super duper hated being swaddled. She will tolerate me rubbing her back or chest if she is laying down but not her head, face, or legs.

She has always been very ticklish and very independent (mum says I raised myself and ILs tell stories of DH putting himself down for naps, so it's not too surprising). If she doesn't want to do something it isn't getting done without either a fight or a negotiation. We have compromised to sit and look at books for "downtime" before bed. It's not the lovely massages I envisioned, but at least she is sitting still momentarily and I figure a fight will only work her up more.

Why oh why do they have to be such little individuals?!

Thats ok - not everyone likes massage . It is wonderful that they are all little individual people - how boring life would be if they were all the same - simple, but boring.

Much simpler.

Mum says it's karma back to bite me for being such a pain when I was little . Fortunately I have her to give me suggestions of what to do with kids who never seem to stop.

Hi Gilliana,

I too have been fighting an ongoing battle in getting my 11mnth old to sleep, and most of the books I would recommend have already been mentioned - I tried controlled crying and it was a total disaster for us, but so many of my friends have had brilliant and very quick results with it. The best advice I have found has been a combo of the No Cry Sleep Solution and the Baby Whisperery.

Basically though it sounds as if you need to change your baby's sleep association, as she thinks that the pram is how she falls asleep, and as with any change she will resist it at first and put up a fuss, but in my experience it doesn't last nearly as long as you think. What has worked for me, and no matter what approach you take, I would recommend you have a clearly thought out plan up front (No Cry is big on this) you must feel completely comfortable with it, and you must be consistent!

I know it seems as if she will never sleep any other way but I promise you you can change this, it just may take a bit of time, but decide how you're going to tackle it and then stick with it. It really helps to understand a bit more of the "theory" behind baby sleep to help you formulate a plan of action!

If it is any comfort mine both slept outside in their pram (then pushchair) in the day till they were 2. I found it easier than putting them in the cot TBH (if I ever tried to put them in it they went mad) and found it helped them distinguish between night and day. Both slepyt well at night though - guerss they new this was diffent due to bath/ PJs etc

Just wanted to thank everyone for their responses - especially Rycie. I've been reading the books and I've arranged for some family to help for a couple of weeks in November. Action SLEEP plan is coming to my apartment!! No more pram pushing (thank goodness it has been a mild October and not too bad for walking). Of course.. I'm going put on the pounds without 2 hours a day walking (phew!).