11 week old - HELP! Need your judgement & advice please!

[elk4baby]

Hi,
My 11 week old DS started napping 45 min. at a time maximum during the day (used to do an hour to two hours). No matter what I do (the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' suggestion isn't working ), he doesn't sleep longer than 45 min. at a time. He used to be an OK sleeper a couple of weeks ago, but then all of a sudden sleep became a huge issue. Any suggestions for extending the naps?
He sleeps in his cot both day and night, I make sure the light is dimmed (blackout blind on one of the two windows and shut blinds on the other), it's quiet and he's comfortable temperature-wise.

Also, getting him to sleep is always a challenge and I am afraid I'm starting to really depend on 'props'. For daytime naps I rock him to sleep and give him a dummy, which I carefully take away once he's asleep. I have tried taking it away when he's sleepy but still awake, but it only arouses/wakes him as he ends up turning his head from side to side looking for it (starts crying and flailing his arms and legs if he doesn't get it) . As he's falling asleep he'd suddenly jerk his arms as though startled and unless he has a dummy in his mouth, it's really difficult for him to calm himself. Any suggestions on teaching him to calm down without it?
For night time we started a bedtime routine - bath, massage and feed (yes, feel free to throw stones at me for putting the feed last). I do my best to feed him not to sleep but to 'sleepy', burp and put him down. It's a bit better than it used to be a week ago. Though now he's taken to the habit of waking up 45min. after he went down (finally! ). Not sure if he thinks it's nap time or what, but it again takes some rocking with a dummy or breast.

I'd really apreciate your opinions here. What am I doing wrong? How to correct this?
How do you put your LO to sleep? and when (i.e. how long after he last woke up)? Is 11 weeks too early for a baby to settle by himself?
I would like to start correcting problems early before my LO becomes too set in his ways.

Hello elk4baby my little one is 21 weeks old and he too naps for only 40 mins per nap. Tried everything to make them longer - PUPD, walking in the pram, sleeping in the swing, sleeping on me etc etc yada yada yada. The only thinkg that works is if I catch him as he is stirring and then rock him again.....yes I too rock him to sleep for naps!! So I am no help on that front! One more thing to add - I decided to accept the short naps and try to make sure he has 4 or five a day.

Until about 2-3 weeks ago I would also rock him to sleep at night. We decided enough was enough with that and now crosses fingers and whispers I give him a bath, feed him, read him a quick story and then plop him in bed. I would say 3 nights out of 5 he talks to himself (anywhere upto 30 mins)and then goes to sleep. The other nights I usually have to go back and comfort him

So anyway...what I was trying to get across is that your littlun is still really little at 11 weeks. Sounds to me like you are doing everything very nicely and in just a few short weeks you'll be surprised fingers crossed how much bigger he is and how much better he is able to settle himself.

You are not doing anything wrong. There are no problems and nothing needs correcting. Babies don't get set in their ways, they are very adaptable and pass from one phase to another in weeks or months. Congratulations, you just transitioned from one.

At 11 weeks your baby is gearing up for a big growth spurt and is becoming more aware of the world. He can see further and more clearly and needs to spend less time asleep. This has manifested in shorter naps, longer time awake between naps, and the same number of feeds as before (soon to be more through the growth spurt).

In the coming months he will get seriously into "tummy time," roll over, start to prop himself up on his elbow, "commando crawl" on his tummy and sit up unaided. He will sleep less and less during the day, but eat just as often. In about 9 months he'll go from three naps to two and at that point his naps may get longer than an hour again. But then all babies are different, so there's never a guarantee. However, his current patterns are perfectly normal.

My little one slept like a dream those first weeks but then around the 12 week mark, she began taking less naps and for less time. She is up a few hours throughout the night too. I decided not to fight it. She lets us know when she is tired and if we are at home, we go through nap time routine when she starts rubbing the eyes and nuzzling. But it can be a bit frustrating to get things done or feel like you were able to spend time with yourself. Since just going with it, it seems to be better. She is settling herself.

DD is 13 weeks now, but we started a bedtime routine proper from about 10 weeks when she started crying loads in the evenings (overtired). I was also rocking her to sleep and she would wake 45 mins/ an hour later as well. In the end one day, I was at my wits end as getting her off to sleep was taking so long, I just popped her down in her cot with her musical mobile playing and decided to leave her. She started to complain a bit 5 minutes later, I left her for 1 min then went in and stroked her face and whispered that it was bedtime till she calmed down, left her again, she started to complain again, I went in again... I never let her get really distressed and always stayed with her for a few minutes after she was calm again. But I was firm and clear that I was not going to pick her out of the cot again. After about half an hour of this, she simply didn't start to cry after calming down. I went to check on her and she was awake, just looking about, but I left her to it. 15 mins later she was asleep, and she stayed asleep for 4 hours!! Since then we have done the same thing every evening and she is sleeping for a good 3/4 hour stretch.

She is then up after that every 2 hours , but it means that we have our evenings back and I can cook some dinner and even eat with two hands!!

I do think it has helped again in the last week or so that she has learnt how to get her thumb into her mouth and so soothes herself that way! sorry, this was a long winded way of saying that for me it has really worked for her to learn to go to sleep by herself, as she does then get herself back off to sleep when she wakes in the evening.

Daytime naps are a disaster zone though, she will only sleep in the sling and only if I am in motion. It means I get lots of walks everyday, but I am dreading rain!

DD2 will also only sleep for 45 minutes at a go during the day and also wakes 45 minutes after going down at night. She is also 11 weeks old. She sleeps for a good while at night so I've been happy to give an extra feed at 8.0ish. DD1 did the same and as she got around 5-6mo she suddenly changed to napping for 2 hour stretches. I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything to make it happen. The only advice I can give is to remember that things change so quickly as they grown up and that all behaviour good or bad is a stage!!

By the way I don't think there is anything wrong with feeding him just before sleep, I think most people do this!!