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Original poster

tiny baby in a big cot?

39 replies

mogwai · 12/04/2005 17:58

I'm wondering whether it's ok to put a newborn into a full sized cot. I'm thinking that, logically, one matress is no different from another, and I'd like baby to get the idea that our bedroom is not his/her bedroom from the very beginning, so want to avoid using the moses basket in our room.

Any thoughts/experiences?

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Twiglett · 12/04/2005 18:01

Personally and IMO I think that would be cruel - newborns need to be close to their parents, to sense them / hear them breathing. And you in turn will need to feed them every 2 to 3 hours anyway so another room would be far more difficult than a moses basket by the side of your bed

I don't think there's an issue with a cot per se, but I think its unnatural to make a newborn sleep in its own room

IMO Baby's need to be taught that when they call you will always be there from the beginning. I also think that you cannot give a baby bad habits, it is easy to move them into their own room later when they're a few months old

Twiglett · 12/04/2005 18:02

arrghh - 'Babies need' not 'baby's need'

Original poster
mogwai · 12/04/2005 18:09

oh that's the second time this week I've been called cruel (am also cruel for intending to return to work )

Our best friend's son slept in his own room from the word go, I just can't remember whether he was in a big cot or not. He's perfectly fine and they are good parents.

I was asking about the cot and mattress, to be honest, I appreciate you think it's cruel for them to be in their own room, but my husband is a GP and night time on-calls will be very disruptive to a newborn as he is often phoned during the night. Also, how can my husband get a night's sleep before he goes to work if he has been woken up once or twice when he isn't on call?

I guess it's not practical for everyone to have baby in their bedroom.

OP posts:
laneydaye · 12/04/2005 18:10

put both my ds and dd in with me and dp for 6mths... dd still there..

mummytosteven · 12/04/2005 18:11

what about putting the moses basket inside the cot?

Original poster
mogwai · 12/04/2005 18:12

we have friends whose 2 year old refuses to sleep in his own room, he eventually refused to sleep in his own cot so they have bought a bigger bed. Nightmare!

OP posts:
Milliways · 12/04/2005 18:12

My DS went into a cot after a few weeks as he kept waking himself up by flinging his arms into the sides of the crib. The cot allowed him space and he did sleep better. However, it WAS a pain having to go along corridor to get him for feeds, and we quite often fell asleep together in our bed during a feed.
Each baby is different, you can only try it.

Original poster
mogwai · 12/04/2005 18:12

MTS that's not a bad idea

OP posts:
charellie · 12/04/2005 18:13

My twins shared a cot bed from the start. As long as your baby feels secure there will be no problem. Admittedly our twins were in the bedroom with us but my neighbour put her baby in her own room after a week because that worked for them.

I know some babies need the security of a moses basket so you could always put the moses basket inside the cot

jane313 · 12/04/2005 18:14

I remember reading something about its best for 6 months because it lessens the risk of cot death. You may feel different when they are born; I loved being about to just look up and see him sleeping.

Twiglett · 12/04/2005 18:16

oh FFS - a 2 year old is totally different from a newborn baby

and if your DH is a GP he should know better

have you had this baby yet? is it your first?

newyearmum · 12/04/2005 18:16

I think it's very much personal choice. We moved our dd into her own room at 6 weeks and we all slept much better once we had (but I know from my own Mum that I went straight into my own room from birth).

A useful tip I was given for small babies in big cots is to roll up a cellular blanket lengthways (like a long sausage) and put it around the baby, so he/she feels more secure.

Twiglett · 12/04/2005 18:17

don't think anyone's cruel for returning to work and arranging the right childcare for their child

but I do think it is cruel to separate any newborn mammal from its mother (or mother figure) straight away

newyearmum · 12/04/2005 18:18

And btw I think 'cruel' is a bit strong...

cod · 12/04/2005 18:18

Message withdrawn

cod · 12/04/2005 18:20

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Roobie · 12/04/2005 18:26

Unless you are planning on bed sharing or can have your crib/moses basket right up beside your bed then the I doubt the baby will be able to tell the difference between a cot in its own room or one in your room. It's not as though you are planning on ignoring their cries from an adjacent room or anything - one way is no better than another imo...just down to personal preference.
dd slept in a moses basket a couple of feet from our bed for the first few weeks - whenever she cried during the night I ended up taking her into her own room for feeding anyway so she may as well have been in there all along. baby 2 is due next week and we plan to put his moses basket straight into his cotbed.
I would just go with the flow though...you will eventually evolve a system that suits you both.

Socci · 12/04/2005 18:27

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Twiglett · 12/04/2005 18:27

i think a baby can sense its mother's breathing and smell from a few feet away

Roobie · 12/04/2005 18:28

As for the SIDS argument.... can anyone relate a story of anyone who has woken up or gone to their sleeping child just in the nick of time to save them from SIDS?

Gem13 · 12/04/2005 18:29

Both mine slept in their (big) cots next to our bed.

Socci · 12/04/2005 18:31

Message withdrawn

mummytosteven · 12/04/2005 18:32

i think the theory on SIDs prevention is that if the baby is in the room with you, then the baby is less likely to "forget" to breathe, as your breathing will be a reminder.

Original poster
mogwai · 12/04/2005 18:32

you're entitled to your opinions, Twiglett, about your own child. I'll do what I feel comfortable with for my own child. I didn't ask your opinion on the bedroom, I asked about the cot.

I'm not sure why you are asking whether this is my first child? I suspect you are waiting for the chance to say "Ha! you know nothing! Ha! I know so much more than you!". I agree you probably know more than I do about what it's like to have a baby, this is why new mums ask questions of other mothers. I'd like to think that new mums can ask questions without being judged by others using these boards. Thankfully I have the self confidence to ignore your comments.

I'm interested that my GP husband should know better. None of his colleagues know the answer either, he asked them today. Perhaps they were all absent from the lecture theatre on that day?

Thanks for all your thoughts though, the idea about the moses basket in the cot is a good one, and yes, I think it might be wise to have the baby in with us until they are sleeping for more than 2 minutes. Useful advice for a new mother.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 12/04/2005 18:45

Well good luck anyway

didn't mean to piss you off, sorry if you felt I was condemning about a choice you had already made (I thought you were just considering it)

when all's said and done we all examine the information and viewpoints about childcare that we come into contact with, take the bits that have resonance for us and ignore the rest. Basically every parent does what we feel is best for our children and that is all that counts