Am I asking too much of my 15 week old?

[oldbutnewmum]

Am going slowly insane through lack of sleep. My 15 week old wakes up at 2.30 for a feed and from then on it's a broken night. Up at 4 to put dummy back in (curse and blessing those things) -then she just wanted to be up from 4.20
Just feeling a bit lost. Feel awful for my 2 year old as he often wakes up due to her crying, and husband works away so on my own for 3 weeks. She eats like a horse and is fantastic during the day, but these nights are really starting to get to me. Anyone got any suggestions??

Gosh, that sounds pretty overwhelming, especially with 2yo waking as well.
Here are just some thoughts off the top of my head:

• Could you sleep with your dd and see if it's easier feeding her that way?
• Do you have any rl support who might be able to stay one night and do the night feedings (formula or expressed bm) just to give you a night off. I know how one full nights sleep can really help get a clear perspective on an overwhelming situation!
• Try and wake up before she's due for feeds, ie by setting an alarm. I know this last one doesn't sound ideal, but I do remember how much better I felt when I was awake and ready for ds and had control over when I woke up, rather than being dragged from sleep.

I hope something in there helps, or sparks some better ideas for your situation!

God thanks for replying. Don't want to sleep with her as going back to work in about 10 weeks, starting at 4 in the morning, so feel the need to sort this out sooner rather than later. And have thought about waking up before her...might try that. Thanks so much for ideas, you been up long??

Yeah, I never slept in the same bed with ds, but I wanted to suggest it just in case. I hope you do manage to find something that works for you. If the alarm idea doesn't work, bump this thread later on and I'm sure more lovely ladies will offer advice.

Been up 15 hours!!! No, I'm in Canada, should be heading to bed soon

Thanks so much, and wow! Canada, beautiful. Sleep well! xx

I'm not sure if you do this already or if you have tried it. I used to dream feed my son at about 10:30 ish, this moved earlier as he got older until we dropped it around 6 months.

I used to half wake him, feed him and then settle him back off. He used to sleep through till about 6ish then.

On the nights I tried to drop, it we had terrible waking nights.

Thanks for this, but yes, already doing that feed, and she then wakes up again hungry at 2.30. Can't figure out where she's putting it all as she has more than enough milk during the day. Thanks though SpecialOffer x

Is she not waking at all before 2:30am? If not, then it sounds like she's doing great to me! I also have a 15 week old who struggles to resettle after about 3:30/4am, but he will have woken for at least 2 feeds prior to that, having gone to bed about 7:30/8pm.

I would co-sleep regardless of your return to work.

Does she nap lots or late during the daytime?

Ah, x post re dreamfeed!

Feeling for you! I think it could be that this a growth spurt coming on. Mine had this at about 16 weeks when they went back to waking at unreasonable hours. It will get better, it will settle down again. I think they are just boosting your supply as they need to. It's just a bugger it's at night. DO you cluster feed in the evening as well as the dream feed? I used to sit on the sofa with the remote and 'phone and feed them about every hour from 3-6pm. It did help.
Good luck!

Thanks both for helpful advice. She does sleep quite a lot during the day, but prob not more than 3/3half hours at most. Unfortunately not bf anymore, so find it hard to cluster feed with a bottle, plus 2 yo would go stir crazy!! Hope it's a growth spurt then, though has been going on for over 2 weeks...??

Actually, that's a lie, she prob sleeps more than that as she can't stay awake longer than an hour and a half. So prob nearer 4 hours in all..

So guessing that she goes to bed at 7, that's about 13 hours in total in a 24 hour period, which is enough for many babies (I always get depressed when I look at how much they 'should' be having, as neither of mine have needed that much!).

Could you put her to bed later instead? Or try to squeeze an extra 15 mins of awake time into each session, so that her pattern gradually shifts?

But what do I know - mine is no better!

I guess that a lot of the benefits of co-sleeping are negated when ff. Bugger.

Thanks again for advice, will try to get her to stay awake a bit more, going to have to at some point anyway, and you never know! Just really nice to get some feedback, feels like someone cares if you know what I mean.

I feel your pain - my DS1 was 20 months when DS2 was born so probably a similar age gap. It is really hard work but it will get better! My DS2 slept ok, but DS1 woke several times a night for months so I know what it's like. I never did the dream feed, I just went to bed really early - like as soon as they are in bed!! That way at least you can get some sleep before the night wakings begin! Sorry I haven't got any concrete advice to give, but hope things improve soon xx

Am going to bed at 8 - and dream feed isn't actually a dream feed, she just wakes up at 10.30! But thank you basement bear. Have to say this is the first time using Mumsnet and I'm blown away by how lovely people can be. xx