big trouble getting 20 month old off to sleep (long!)

[tomate]

dd has always been difficult to get off to sleep and I'm completely at a loss as to how to deal with it now. She sleeps OK at night, thankfully, but getting her off to sleep can take up to two hours of yelling. We have resorted to rocking her at times, but she wakes when she's put down (like a newborn!), tried pick up put down but she gets really upset when you do the put down bit and ends up in a state, tried cc which actually seemed to work well for a few days but then stopped working and we were back to square one. Tried shh-ing with back to her a la supernanny but that makes her frustrated and 40 mins later she was still not asleep at all and v upset. She is really tired so it's not a timing thing. She goes to sleep with a hand on her tummy but as soon as you take it off she's awake and screaming. It takes 2 hours some nights. It's been 40 mins tonight. Going insane!

and she's still not asleep! poor honey, it's awful, she's so tired but still not giving in.

Does she sleep during the day? Do you have the same problem then? Has she always been like this - or is it a new thing?

I'm not sure I can help but I have a DD of the same age.....she sleeps in a very dark room, favourite blanket and dummy, strict bedtime routine (and time), sleeps for 2 hours late morning (in her cot) and is put down awake....and left unless inconsolable.

Anything stike a cord?

hope someone more useful will be along to help.....sounds very trying?

Sounds quite a lot like ds (same age). I know he can settle himself to sleep as he does it beautifully for his daytime sleep. But night times can take a while, and there's always screaming. Things I have concluded:

• he actually needs a bit of a whinge before going to sleep - helps him let off steam

• me being in the room with him is counter-productive as he then expects me to be there and won't go to sleep. Cheeky thing keeps looking to check I'm there then grinning

• music helps. Our baby monitor plays a plinky plonky tune that I hate but he seems to quite like

• I have to get him mentally ready for going in his cot - we have a strict routine of nappy, pyjamas, sleeping bag, two stories in a darkened room, then a cuddle and singing and a little chat about the day. Then some special words and in his cot. He might still make a fuss, but it's usually less.

• sleeping beyond about 3pm in the day is bad news for settling at night. About 90 mins after lunch seems optimal.

• if the crying is winding down, we leave him. As soon as it escalates, we go in, give him a cuddle and calm him down. So he's never left screaming.

It's not perfect but seems to be improving slightly - we're now down to about 30 mins, from closer to an hour before.