Can you talk me through pick up/put down?

[inscotland]

My little boy has gone from being able to self settle to only sleeping when either one of us lies next to him until he's asleep and then sneek away!

This needs to change so thinking about pick up put down.

He's 6.5 months old. There is no way I'd do controlled crying. He gets out of control too quickly so thought this might work.

Want to start tomorrow night so I am not on my own and hubby is here.

What do I do?

I can't believe that I'm giving advice as I started the thread "2 hours to get to sleep" a couple of weeks ago. However, pick up/put down has worked for us. DD now settles within 15 mins! The Baby Whisperer suggests picking them up as soon as they cry and putting them down as soon as they settle (by rocking, cuddling etc). But DD got hysterical when we did this so we modified it: when she cried we'd try to soothe her in the cot by patting her tummy and holding her hands. Only if she got really upset did we pick her up. Then we'd let her settle a bit (but not go to sleep on us) before putting her down. Keep repeating until sleep! It seems to have worked after about 5 days. Good luck!

Worked for us too and DD previously could only sleep with vigorous rocking plus hoover noise.

You basically need to be able to distinguish between frustrated/grizzly/trying-to-get-to-sleep crying and distressed crying.

Pick them up if they get distressed and put them down as soon as they have calmed down.

If grizzling starts to turn to distressed crying then do as littleanimal says and shush and pat them.

It does work but you must be consistent and can't give in.

Hi

Thanks for that. He does get out of control very quickly! How long over the first few nights did it take for your little girl to fall asleep.

I know it will take a good few nights but need the support there tomorrow and Saturday.

Are we in his room or just one of us for 3-4 hours or what?

I think she says it takes an average of 20 minutes to get to sleep, max of around an hour.

First time we did it it took 20 mins, next night an hour, thereafter anywhere between 10 mins and 30 mins.

Right ok. Did you both stay in baby's room or just one of you?

No. Only one of you can do it - you can't give up halfway and pass the baby over as that's like starting from the beginning apparently.

The book recommends you do it in shifts of 2 days each. So one of you stays out of it completely for 2 days, then the other.

I'd try to get the book out of the library or borrow it if you can as there's a fair bit of detail in there, even though the technique is very simple.

(book is the Baby Whisperer btw, in case you don't know)

It took 1.5 hours the first night, 1 hour the second, then 20-40 mins after that. Now down to about 15 mins and we barely have to do any picking up.

OK. Well I'll probably do it tomorrow and hubby saturday but he's back to work on Sunday night so it will be me the rest of the time.

oooh god, I am dreading this. I hate it when he gets upset.

He likes his dummy but only for drifting off. Do I just forget about that?

Just to add - the book is Baby Whisperer Solves your problems (not secrets of the baby whisperer - I seem to buy them all!) There's a whole chapter on it. DH and I would keep swapping as it was so draining and it didn't seem to make a difference.

Sorry, yes, the one littleanimal says.

We swap now - but you shouldn't swap halfway through AFAIK. That is the equivalent of starting all over again apparently (e.g. Mum gets tired after 45 mins and Dad takes over).

I dreaded it too, spent a whole weekend dreading it and hating it but it was so worth it and the worst bits are over very soon.

Good luck.

Just another couple of questions:

Do you continue with PU/PD if he wakes during the night?

and for naps tomorrow?

I am scared!

Baby Whisperer says to do it for all sleeps. I have to get all DD's naps in the pram as I couldn't face PU/PD during the day aswell! However, once we got the evening sorted I have started to do it for the morning nap and it works quite well although she doesn't stay asleep long enough.
I tend to feed her when she wakes in the night (usually about 4 hours after her last feed so I think she's hungry) but if she wakes sooner we do PU/PD. It's bloody hard to do in the middle of the night when you are shattered but luckily DH has been helping. How did last night go?

Not too bad. Getting him off to sleep hasn't been as bad as I thought but when he used to wake at around 10.30 and we fed him he'd fall back asleep with a cuddle withing 10 minutes or so.

The last 2 nights has taken about 2-3 hours which is tiring. He's generally not upset but turns onto his tummy and then can't get back again. We do get some upset but I presume this is just all part of the process?

He's going down for naps pretty well so far.

Night 3 tonight but I am concerned about the wakening late at night for 2-3 hours.