Please come and help me break out of the mindset that tells me, "Baby sleeping in cot in other room = good" and anything else is me falling short.

[beansprout]

Ds2 is 8mo and b/fed. To help with night wakings we have fallen into co-sleeping and ds2 is getting more and more reluctant to settle in his cot/get back to sleep without a feed.
He started off fairly independently so my head keeps telling me that I have messed up the holy grail of a self settling baby. I completely agree with the benefits of co-sleeping and on a night to night basis it is ensuring we all get enough sleep, but I can't escape this nagging feeling of he "should" be in with ds1 by now.

Please come and tell me that I have just been indoctrinated by a million different "experts" and that me and my family are fine!!

You need to do whatever suits you. If you are all happy with co-sleeping then why change anything?

Are you, DH/DP, and DS2 happy ? If so, then its all good ! We coslept with DS part time for ages, but by 1, he didn't want to be fed to sleep at bedtime, and by 18 months slept through the night in his own bed without me having to do anything.

Sleeping in their own bed in another room is vastly overrated, and since you are the one that would miss out on sleep, its your decision !

beansprout, you have answered your own question. "On a night to night basis it is ensuring we all get enough sleep". What more do you want, you crazy woman!?

Seriously, if it works, roll with it. We've coslept with DS since he was a few weeks old and now at 14 months I have to begrudgingly get up and put him back in his cot some nights, where he seems to settle more easily. I've done nothing to engineer this really, he just likes his own space (and his dad is putting up a firm defence of his side of the bed ).

Thank ypu. I think I just needed to hear that I have not signed up for 5 years of no-enough-room-in-the-bed!! I also agree that the independent baby model is overrated

I go back to work in 6 weeks and last time I was just worried about ds1 not sleeping through the night and me not managing and now that does not bother me at all, which is a huge bonus. I also regret not co-sleeping with ds1 (dh was not up for it). Just goes to show the power of all these books and how we think in the West!!

My dh just insisted on ds going into his own room (at 12 months)...result?...me sleeping on the nursery floor for the best part of last 3 nights!The only person benefitting it Dh...moral;If it aint broke dont fix it.

Beansprout - very similar to what I was posting yesterday about my DS 6.5 months. Felt that co-sleeping was the way forward for us but worried about ever getting him back out of the bed.

Thanks to the above posters who confirm that they do get there in their own time - gives me the confidence to 'go with the flow' at the moment.

Glad I am not the only person in the accidental co-sleeping boat (bed!)