Why is my DS waking up so much in the second part of the night? Help desperately needed!!

[SamJohnsMum]

My DS is nearly 4 months old and can sleep from 7 until 7 waking just once, sometimes twice, in the night. He is exclusively breastfed.

However, the last couple of nights he has slept well until about 1230 and then woken every hour, hour and a half ish until morning and I don't know why. He doesn't seem to feed that much at all - if I offer him a breast he'll have a minute or two before falling asleep but that's all. Even if I do this to help him back to sleep he'll either wake up when I put him back in his cot or sleep for just an hour. He doesn't seem unhappy if I don't feed him, but he sure as hell won't go to sleep. I'm sure it's not a growth spurt, because he's not eating any more - my boobs were really big and hard this morning because he hadn't had a proper feed since about 2am.

I'm so tired and I feel like we've gone backwards. I just don't know what to do. He's still in our room and I want him to stay there until 6 months - I just wouldn't be happy any other way. He can clearly still sleep for longer as he sleeps for 5-6 hours at the start of the night.

Please help!!!

my lo did the same. Mine started teething, that's why he woke up during the night. Is he drooling alot? have you tried expressing at 10pm? I did this, and it helped alot with pressure of sleeping with full breasts. The other prblm I had, was that my lo, would still have some wind, and would wake up during the night

Thanks for that. Mmmm - I wonder if he might be teething. He certainly is dribbling a lot and he's always trying to put things in his mouth. My mum doesn't think he is because I can't see anything coming through yet - does this matter?

If this is the case, what I can do to help him sleep?

Hi, there seems to be a pattern of them doing this at around four months for various potential reasons - teething, major growth spurt at this time, major developmental spurt as well. My lo did this and it's hell because you've just got used to them sleeping quite well. She is just getting a bit better again this week and last night was really good, but we'll see... She's been like this for a few weeks, though, I hate to tell you. I read the 'no cry sleep solution' book and have refused to let her go to sleep on the boob and that does seem to have helped. Bit of a battle to get her off to sleep without it though. Also all the usual advice - bedtime routine, get them tanked up during the day, not letting her nap too late in the day, but making sure they get good naps earlier on. Lot's of sympathy for you though - it's been driving me demented.

Lots of sympathy right back at ya, starshiptrooper. As you say, you just get used to getting some reasonable sleep again and suddenly you're back to square one!! I have ordered the no-cry book from the library, so I'll read that - I'll try not let him sleep on the boob - but as you say, that can really hard sometimes!

Thanks for replying - it's also good to know that others have the same problem. Last night I thought I must be doing something wrong and I really beat myself up about it.

Any tips for making sure they good naps earlier on in the day?

I can't offer any help but send you my support. Having problems with DS at night time too. He's 3 months and everything was going so well until about 7-8 nights ago.

mine did this at the same age. administerd calpol in the night gave him longer sleep setions until the tooth was about to pop thru.

i'm sorry for those mums out there that hate the Gina Ford books. But I've stuck to her routine, but adjusted it accordingly to fit my way, and it has worked for me. I wouldn't stop the 10.30pm feed. So after your bath routine and baby massage at 6/6.30pm, then feeding, your lo should be asleep by 7pm. then wake lo at 10.30pm for a feed (some of my friends did a dream feed), but if it helps, use breastmilk, that you've pumped from the night before, so bottle feed your lo. and then put lo back to sleep. He should sleep until abt 6am. If he does wake, try using the dummy, and pat his chest while he is in the cot.
Re:teething.. it doesn't mean that their teeth aren't actually coming through. According to my hv, they can teeth from 4 - 7 months, before teeth actually start appearing in the gums. My lo, started dribbling, and putting anything she could find into her mouth.

I have to say, ds showed every sign of teething except actual teeth, for three months before the ruddy things began appearing. and yep, it woke him up a lot.

Ha ha, I clicked on this thread because I have a terrible sleeper in DS2; who is always awake by 3am (usually hours before), I think because of teeth or his cold (there is always something ......he still bf throughout the night and ends up co-sleeping with us most nights despite being put in his own bed to start with.

Now, I should add that DS2 is now 14mo - so I have every sympathy!!

I can recommend the No-cry sleep solution; it did help us with some of the other sleep problems that we have experienced over the past year

My DD stopped sleeping well a few weeks ago, at nearly 4 months old. At the same time have been seeing loads of changes in her (much more alert, difficulty napping and getting herself to sleep, poos more solid (sorry for TMI), much more vocal, etc) so think this is maybe a period of change and development. I've upped her feeds by quite a lot and after 3 days of it the sleep has improved a lot. We've had 2 good nights, hoping for a 3rd tonight!

Thanks for comments - I've stocked up on products for teething and I'm trying to feed him more, but he doesn't seem to have a big appetite at the mo. I guess that fits with the teething theory. Hope you all get some decent kip tonight!!

Hi SamJohnsMum - re: the daytime naps. I put mine in a wrap around sling and she sleeps really well, and I can do stuff. Not that I do much, mind, apart from come on here! Having said that, I'm a bit worried about how this will be when she's big and I'm not sure how to get her into the cot for daytime naps? Think the no cry book has stuff about naps as well - I'll go back and read this bit again myself. My good news is that the good night time sleeps have continued this week, and having persisted with gently pushing her off the boob for a few days she is going to sleep herself in the cot. But it's easy to beat yourself up, I know I do, especially when you're feeling down because of lack of sleep.

Things are going from bad to worse. Last night, DS woke up at 8 and 10.30 for a feed (not much more than a drink really) and then at 1am - from that point on he would only sleep in my arms or next to my husband on our bed. God knows what difficulties we'll have in future months if we let this continue, but hubbie reckons we just have to get through this patch and then we can deal with other sleep problems. Every time we laid him down in his cot, he woke up (sometimes 10 minutes after we'd laid him down) and started making a noise. I hardly slept at all between 1am and 5.30am, when DH took DS and laid him next to him in bed - but then DH doesn't sleep, so that's not fair either. I love my little man so much, but I am soooooo tired!!! If this is a teething push, how long is it likely to last? Someone told me yesterday it could last for months - please tell me this isn't so!!

Oh poor you, I know how you must be feeling. Are you sure he's not sickening for something? I'm thinking of ear infections in particular - he's not pulling at his ears or anything? Mine was like this the night before she was sickening for a cold. My lo has been showing signs of teething but no teeth for ten weeks now but it hasn't bothered her that much. I mean she is now sleeping better than she was but still slobbering, chewing hand etc. So hopefully in your case the teeth are on their way soon if it is teething.

Poor you
I know it isn't much help, but keep thinking of it as a phase - nothing lasts forever. Keep doing what your doing and try to stick to your routine and then when the phase does come to an end your LO should eventually fall back into a better sleep cycle.
It sounds like a huge developmental leap to me.
sorry this wasn't much help

I have read a book called 'the Wonder Weeks' which is written by some people who initially did research on baby chimps, who apparently do the same thing! Basically it says that there are periods when babies are working on important skills and during these periods they will be more fussy, more clingy, and sleep less well. There is a major one around 19 wks and the stormy period can last from a few weeks before to a couple of weeks after this time. They will then have a 'sunny' period for a few weeks before they start on the next set of skills. My lo is 20 wks and she is much better this wk - I've also noticed her head is much bigger and she's just sat by herself for a wee while last night. So, maybe there's something in it?

I'm reading that book as we type! You spurred me on to buy it Starship by recommending looking up the 4 month regression info online.
Its really interesting and DD is definately doing the things in the book leading up to her 19 wk leap. (she's 15 wks)
Just wanted to say thanks for mentioning it

Thanks again, everyone. It's always good to know others are/have been in the same boat. The 19 week thing is interesting - I'll add that book to my list!!

I will try to remember that this is a phase and just try to stick the old routines where possible. I'm looking forward to that sunny period!!!

You're welcome, TettyLouBar. I think anything that makes you think, "well maybe it's not all my fault then" is good!

I absolutely agree!!