Weird sleep "episodes" - me, not a DC - confused, aggressive, emotional...

[Ewe]

Recently I have had a few sleep episodes where I have been woken but not awake and been totally mad. It has been either after alcohol or when I am v.tired.

Basically something wakes me but I don't fully wake up, the lines between reality and dreamworld are very blurred, I talk utter gobbledigook - last night I was telling XP that I was sorry about Lehman Bros losing all our money, in RL I have no savings, let alone investments! Then asked him to get my best friend a soft drink, she wasn't at or even near my house.

DD had woken - what I think originally woke me - and XP put her on the bed whilst finding a dummy, when he tried to pick her up to put her to bed I started hitting him (after DD was in cot, not in his arms) and screaming I wouldn't let him take her away from me.

I have very hazy recollection of this, had I not been told I don't think I would have remembered anything tbh. I saw GP today who was useless. Does anyone have any experience of sleep disorders like this? I feel like I am insane and worried it will happen again.

Are you living with your XP? Is your life particularly turbulent? It sounds like you are very stressed, and this is how it's coming out, iyswim.

Do you have people to talk to (ideally irl) about your stresses, or is there anything you can do to reduce them?

Or is meditation or similar an option?

Yeah we do live together and it has it's ups and downs but is mainly ok. It has only started since I have started working again, 6month old DD, FT job, broken relationship, I am fairly stressed and very tired.

Unfortunately can't reduce stress but I do try to talk about it, my Mum and friends are fab.

Meditation, never thought about it and don't know much about it but might look into it. Am willing to try anything to be honest!!

It does sound like you are stressed, about money, and about your XP taking your DD away from you. Which are perfectly reasonable things to be stressed about, I'm sure - you just need to find some way to accept and cope with this stress, and then hopefully you'll stop having sleep problems.

If you can, get your XP to try to a) agree with whatever you're saying, just go along with it, on the understanding that (obviously) whatever he says doesn't actually count and b) just try to soothe you back to bed. (And to not wake you up! Because you will be very confused and upset if you wake.)

Have you and your XP had any couples counselling or other mediation, to try to make things work better? This could help with your ongoing (parental) relationship.

Sounds like you're stressed out to the point of no return. Why don't you write down, here or somewhere personal, every single thing that is getting you down/stressing you out/worrying you in general. Once it's all written down, you can see in black and white what your life is like and perhaps you can work on each point as much as possible ( I know work etc is a necessary stress). Talk on here if you want as a problem shared is gossip a problem halved (or something!)

No we haven't had counselling, he wouldn't entertain the thought but maybe I should consider going by myself.

What is weird is that I know he would never take DD away from me, he doesn't seem terribly keen on her tbh. Which I worry about on top of everything else.

There just seems an insurmountable amount of stress, everything from I want to lose weight because I'm feeling unwanted/unattractive and a bit fat to shit, I can't afford my nursery fees and DD needs a new winter coat etc.

I do need to find some way of dealing with it as I tend to stick my head in the sand. I might see if I can fit in some exercise/yoga or a dance class. Or even swimming for an hour to have some me-time.

I thought about this and I found it very hard imagining being a single parent. It's a two person job, not to say mum's aren't enough, but yeah baby is fine, but what about YOU. This is your life too Ewe and it seems you're just making ends meet at the minute, and struggling at that.

Can XP not help you out anymore than he already is? Is he doing everything he possibly can to make it as stress free as possible? I'm not sure of your living/parenting arrangements but maybe they could be tweaked to help more?

Or could your mum help more?

Counselling on your own sounds like a good idea. Or exercise.

If you can, try to deal with one area at a time - don't worry about your weight now, you have enough other things on your plate, for example.

XP is certainly not making my life as easy as possible, he is unlikely to change though, hence we split up! My Mum works full time and does an awful lot for me already.

I think I need a good sit down and maybe to write everything down and try to prioritise what is the most important thing like you say NQC.

Have been googling and there is a sleep disorder it sounds like it could be so will look into that too, it seems treatable with meds, I just need to see somone about it.

Thanks for your ideas.

I suspect the meds for this sort of thing may be worse than the problem. I'd try fixing it by other means first. (And avoiding the triggers, which you already know, of being very tired, or having alcohol.)