Right, we need to get ds in his own bed before dc2 gets here. How do we get him to stay in his bed?

[theSuburbanDryad]

At the moment, he is in a travel cot in our room. He settles himself to sleep, with dh in there playing music, but dh stays with him till he falls asleep. Ds comes into bed with us at about half 2 and sleeps until between 7-8:30 which works fine for us.

I'd like him to go in his own room, but how will we get him to stay in his own bed while we get him to self-settle? Short of a velcro babysuit, obviously.

We don't "do" CC or CIO but would be happy to consider some kind of rapid return method. I don't want to leave him to cry. I'm happy to continue letting him come into bed with us, as we're going to put the new baby in a sidecar cot.

TIA.

Put a stairgate on his door if the habit continues following rapid return.

Can you move the travel cot into his room and give that a whirl for a bit? Or does he have to go straight into a bed in the other room?

Oh yes. Stairgate works well. Ds2 sometimes goes to sleep on the floor at the doorway in protest, but he does at least go to sleep!

yeah DD2 used to fall asleep at the stairgate. She would play for a while beforehand but would always fall asleep on the floor with legs propped up against stairgate. She grew out of that though (obviously).

how old is he Suburban?

See - the other problem is that the "spare" room (aka ds' room) is a fucking state, and has my old double bed in it. We are hoping to move before new baby gets here, so do I risk us not finding a house before dc2 gets here and keeping him in our room, or should I put him in the spare room and risk unsettling him into a new room when/if we move?

Or should I just not bother and continue to let him co-sleep?? Is there anyone out there who co-sleeps with a toddler and a newborn?

Tie him down by his pyjama legs

He might surprise you and actually stay in bed! How old is he?

He's 18mo, he'll be 26mo when dc gets here.

are you going to put him in a bed? or a cot?

In a bed I think, as he's getting too big for his cot now!

Still young but same age as DD1 was when I moved her to a junior bed. There is no magic solution but if you are determined to keep him in his own bed then you would have to probably put a stairgate up and keep going back in and lying him back down in his bed then walking away and keep doing this until he gets the message. You will have some tears. If you are unsure about doing that then just let him in bed with you but not the best nights sleep with 4 of you in one room/bed. For his benefit he would be better in his own bed where he can rest uninterrupted.

Should we wait and see if we're going to be moving, do you think? I have this little vision of him having his own room furnished with the chunky cute stuff from Ikea and a little bed with guard rails on it and a Night Garden duvet/poster!

When are you due? Is your house already up for sale/have a buyer? The reality of you selling/finding a house before DC2 arrives is probably slim, I would do it before baby comes in the house you live in now. DD1 didn't have anything in her room for a while, kids don't notice these things.

Maybe move the travel cot into spare room first, might be a bit of shock to put new bed up and then expect him to go from sleeping with you and DH to all alone in new bed!

having newly decorated own room definitely worked for dd (sharing a bed with me before that). She even puts herself to sleep after years of me lying down with her.

bit older than yours though, don't know if an 18 month old is so easily manipulated!

We rent atm, so it's a case of getting a mortgage sorted, and finding a house we like and can afford.

DC2 due in Feb.

How old was dd when you did that Harpo?

My other problem is that I don't want ds to feel pushed out by the new baby.

We are co-sleeping with a toddler and a newborn. Just bought a giant bed from Ikea for that reason. Newborn on me/in co-sleeper at present. Tbh we thought there is no way that dd (toddler) would be happy if the baby was in with us and she was in her bed (although she is quite happy in her bed, she prefers being with us - we moved her a bed at 15mths). It is working well, think she is getting a lot of reassurance and reconnection being with us at night...

erm, it was about 2 months ago, suburban... she is nearly 4!

not much help to you, am I - though I think I would have gone for it younger if I'd had to (only me and dd in bed so there was loads of room )

Umlellala - are you tandem nursing?

PS we have obv done lots of 'rapid return' (is that where you just put them back to bed lots?') and worked out her bedtime routine. But at the moment (ds is 5 days old - have been putting her to bed in our bed for maybe a month?) dh (or me) lies down with her similarly to how you do it now...

Nope. Just feeding newborn ds (which seems to mean 24/7)!!!

If you move quickly then wait, even if you move him into a bed 1 month before DC2 arrives, he will have plenty of time to adjust.

I am due in Feb too! What date are you? I am 3rd.

PGw3 - I'm due end of Feb, the 23rd is the date they've given me but they don't seem too sure, tbh. It's all a bit skewiff because I haven't had an AF since i got pg with ds!!

Umelella - I remember those days of bf-ing a newborn. I used to wear ds in a sling so he had constant access to the breast, otherwise he'd get so upset!!

So are you around 9 weeks then Suburban? I had 1 AF since being pg with DD2, stopped breast feeding in April, AF end of April, BAM pregnant in May!

Yeah, somewhere between 8-10 weeks we think. I didn't even have an AF - must've got pg the first ovulation I had.

(Dh is v proud of his mighty semen )