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Original poster

would it help if i went home?

20 replies

LaTrucha · 20/07/2008 12:50

sorry for one-handed typing. holding sleepless baby.

we started to help our baby sleep independently three weeks ago using th No-cry sleep solution. She was doing ok. I do almost all of the sleeping stuff.

I've now travelled to my parents and she is worse than she has ever been in her life, daytime sleeping too - which has never previously been a problem.

we came away as DH is away on business. He's got two more weeks away.

My question is: do you think she'd settle a bit if we went home? It is a nine-hour trip on several trains, so no easy feat one-handed. I feel absolutely desperate and on the edge. What should I do, stay or go?

OP posts:
belgo · 20/07/2008 12:54

Can your parents take your baby during the day for a couple of hours while you catch up on your sleep?

isaidno · 20/07/2008 12:55

How old is she? And how long have you been at your parents?

Original poster
LaTrucha · 20/07/2008 13:04

belgo - this will sound strange, but they're not that sort of people.

Isadino - she's 6.5 months and we've been here a week.

OP posts:
belgo · 20/07/2008 13:08

Does she sleep well with you in your bed? I would probably give up on the no cry solution and co-sleep for a bit. I know what lack of sleep is like.

belgo · 20/07/2008 13:09

Are your parents helping you at all? If not, I would probably go home.

Original poster
LaTrucha · 20/07/2008 13:12

belgo- I already did give up! we get a small amount of sleep, but everything is truly tits up. She's never refused a day nap before. She's knackered. She screams if I try to put her to sleep and screams if I don't try. She's just floppy amd lethargic at her best ATM. Not my little girl at all.

They hold her while I have a shower, and maybe a bit while I eat my lunch if she's restless. It doesn't add up to much.

Trip home is daunting, though. I have said I may go.

OP posts:
belgo · 20/07/2008 13:15

does she sleep on you? or in a sling?

I really think your parents should take her out for a walk in the pram for a couple of hours every now and again to give you a break. But I suppose you can't force them.

Original poster
LaTrucha · 20/07/2008 13:18

I know, I know. My dad's pretty ill though, and my stepmother is working. They certainly haven't said anything like 'what can we do to help?'

She does sleep in a sling. I've walked so much in the last few days!

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 20/07/2008 13:23

Is she perhaps poorly or teething? Coming down with a cold or something like that? I know that in the past I have been caught out thinking one of the dds is being a bad sleeper and attributing it to something more "obvious" - in your case change of home environment. If there is a chance she is teething etc perhaps try a tiny bit of calpol. It was when you said "she's just floppy and lethargic at her best ATM" - possibly more than sleep issues here?

onepieceoflollipop · 20/07/2008 13:24

Also would add perhaps going home earlier than planned might be best - I would start to feel a bit unsupported tbh even if your parents have genuine reasons not to be able to help out more.

Original poster
LaTrucha · 20/07/2008 13:24

Well, that description is probably inaccurate, TBH. She's just very clingy and usually she's very independent. She is teething and I have given some Calpol, but she was at home as well.

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 20/07/2008 13:27

Perhaps in a day or 2 another tooth will pop through and things will settle down. Hope you get some sleep (you as well as her) soon.

admylin · 20/07/2008 13:28

I was away with dd when she was 6 months and she definately noticed the change and the new routine. She was also breast fed so everyone kept saying oh she must be hungry let's get her some baby food every time she cried abit - I did let MIL try to give her some baby rice of some sort (was abroad) just to shut them all up as they were stressing my out more than dd! Are your parents fussing about her not sleeping - maybe she can feel that too?

Sorry you can't enjoy your holiday.

Original poster
LaTrucha · 20/07/2008 13:32

They just keep saying 'dear, dear, your mummy needs some sleep' !!???

OP posts:
belgo · 20/07/2008 13:35

I would go home then. You may all end up resenting each other if you stay there another two weeks.

Original poster
LaTrucha · 20/07/2008 13:37

I think we'd get by, belgo. I think I'd go if I thought there was a good chane she'd settle down.

Do you think she might settle?

OP posts:
admylin · 20/07/2008 13:38

I would go home too - it isn't helping you any and you might just be able to relax and get back into a routine at home.

justkeepswimming · 20/07/2008 13:48

hey laT - i would go tbh, unless you are enjoying being there with them yourself (and that would be difficult with no sleep!).
sod 'em, go home, yes the journey may be tricky, but think how fab and proud of yourself you'll feel when you get home
plus once she settles at home again, you will be fine putting her in a bouncer/on the floor/etc. when you want a shower, or just waiting for her to nap!

people who don't help out are ultra-annoying and frustrating when a baby is crying.

and looking after baby on your own till dh gets back really is manageable

Original poster
LaTrucha · 20/07/2008 14:13

I don't know why but I do feel it would be easier at home on my own, even though I'd have to cook and clean etc.. which I don't have to do here.

How's your LO sleeping JKS?

OP posts:
isaidno · 20/07/2008 14:28

Sounds like you might both be happier at home tbh

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