Is there some magic phrase that I can use to stop my ds calling for me and go to sodding sleep!!!????

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

He is 4 in a couple of weeks and is in a good going to bed routine - 7pm upstairs teeth brushed, stories, hug, good night! But he keeps calling for me (mainly me, sometimes Daddy as well) - 4 times so far this evening, can also call at anytime during the night and often says he is 'scared', or wants to 'sleep over with Mummy' (we did co-sleep till he was 18m).

I occasionally use a reward chart to get him to stay in his own bed for a week - it is always successful (once too successful as he wet the bed rather than get up and go for a wee!). So I know he is capable of staying in bed - therefore I am unwilling to keep using bribery and corruption - are there any other options I can try?

I can hear him calling again now - arrgghhh... frustrated emoticon required.

i should add that I am in the process of managing my dd's transition from co-sleeper to her own room and big girls bed - and at 27 weeks pregnant am fed up of running up and down the stairs - so advice is really appreciated.

Is he calling for a chat/water/some other thing or calling because he is upset?

Well, not sure its a magic solution, as ds (also 4) has called for us 4 times so far tonight, but our most effective solution is:

• make boundries clear - it's bed time, you can call us for xxx,yyy,zzz, but otherwise we aren't talking to you
• then stick to it - ds is a great one for great bedtime conversations, and i just have to repeat (in boring voice) 'It's bedtime, I'm not talking to you now, good night'. Ad flippin nauseum. After a couple of nights of that, he settles down.

If he is genuinely scared (ds goes through stages where i believe him) I say i will sit in the corridor outside his room (often with mn ), IF he is quiet.

Anyhow, he's just called me from upstairs, so must go try my own rules

Well he says he is scared, has heard a noise or seen something but seeing as he has a cheesy grin on his face as soon as I come to his room I am having a hard time believing that he is as worried as he makes out. More likely restless and a bit bored - it is hard to know for sure.

Middle of the night-genuine scared I do co-sleep/crash on his floor.
Much sympathy though - loosing your evenings when you're got used to them is very frustrating.

Yes Funnypeculiar I try the boring non-convo method as well - but to be honest at 3 in the morning it is very dificult not to be a bit annoyed (sometimes obviously so) especially if dd has been keeping us awake as well.

If he has genuine night terrors then I just go and comfort him - that is different - he is prone to nightmares when ill and a bit feverish. But he has been waking up and demanding breakfast at 5am recently which does not go down v well with dh and I.

Sympathy to you as well FP.

I am desperate to enjoy the next 12 weeks of evenings as I will have a new born to contend with after that and bang goes peaceful evenings for a while[sob]

In my book, cheesy grin does not = scared. I also go for the "I am going to be really boring" approach, so his efforts are not rewarded. I would basically say, acknowledge him but don't engage, so I too just say, "don't worry, night night, time for sleep now" over and over until he gets bored.

umm will watch with interest to see if anyone has any solutions as we seem to have tried everything with ds 2.8, some nights it gets so hard as we start the routine at 6.45 and he is still hopping out of be at 10, though there is no link as some nights he goes straigt off, does not seem to be linked to napping in the car either !
DS is very creative in his needs for calling for us!! there does seem to be a link that if he starts off on a bad night it follows though and then he wakes in the night ! Any magic solutions would be welcome in this house !!
Don't feel as though dh and I get any time in the evening as we are always up and down.

Moocow - this might sound strange as I am looking for a definitive answer still - but if you think your ds will respond to it (at 2.8 he may be a bit young) - try reward chart - my ds does do well when bribed - sticker books or dinosaur related tat - and it does improve his behavior for a while. Then he slips back into bad habits, still it gives me and dh the odd week off

Will give it a try anything is better then the current situation where everyone is just getting worked up, fed up and cross, thats us not ds !!!!