night weaning 6mo - is it the only way to save my sanity?

[damadilemma]

ugh I'm in a mess about this. DD is 6mo and wakes 2or 3 times a night to feed and then is up for the day from 5am. She's never slept through, not even close. I'm utterly exhausted, relationship with DH is suffering, and DS is a bit all over the place too (recent big changes, move, + normal 3yo dramas) so demanding a lot of attention in the day . So seemed clear that something needs to give. So started reducing the time that I feed her at night aiming to drop feeds completely this week and let DH bear the brunt of the crying for a night or 2 (using gradual retreat type thing). Got down to 1 minute feed without too much drama, and then last night she wouldn't settle again for over 2 hours so ended up feeding her as long as she wanted. She still took a while to settle after that and then woke again about 3 hours later for another feed. She settles on her own at bedtime and for her naps and after feeds at night so it's not a question of not knowing how to go to sleep herself. She eats well in the day and has been feeding (Bf) almost every 2 hours. I suppose she could still be hungry at night - since she has fed in the night all her life her body is probably used to it. but how to change this? am I being stupid/cruel to try?

Growth spurt? Maybe leave a few weeks and try the gradual retreat thing again?

Cor tough one, presume you've tried offering water?

I don't know, you know your baby and if she's hungry or not but I wasn't happy to drop night feeds until mine was properly weaned and that was about 9 months. It is utterly exhausting and you have my greatest sympathy. Can you co-sleep to help you through?

yes suppose growth spurt is a possibility. feels like her whole life has been a growth spurt though! yes maybe I have to try and be patient and leave it a bit...

havn't tried water, maybe that's worth a go

I would think she is still hungry at night, MY DD is the same age and usually waked twice ish a night. I sometimes express my milk, and offer via a bottle, to see how much she is drinking and she will drink a 5oz bottle each time. So to me, she is too hungry to start reducing feeds. Maybe you could try this?

I know people get their DC to sleep through by leaving to cry etc but to me this is just cruel, I hate it. Especially with BF babies who are used to having boob when they want

I didn't drop night feeds with mine until they were 15 months. Fully on solids, walking, first molars through.

Probably not what you want to hear.

Take her into bed if you need to - don't get 'up' at 5am!

dama same dilemma here see my rants on Jan post natal thread dd2 same age.
I am now following no cry sleep solution.
We have gone from feeds at 10,1,3,5 and restlessness in between too feeds at 10 and 3. She is now feeding better after snacking all the time as she is now hungry!
I use a dummy and she has a blanket which we are trying to use !

yes she seems hungry, but then she seemed like she was getting used to just 2 minutes feed twice a night so couldn't have been that hungry...
unfortunately co-sleeping doesn't really work, neither DH or I sleep well with her in the bed - and she would still wake me up to feed (small boobs so she has to be right up next to me to feed! and I worry about rolling on her)

she and I coslept for quite a while, and DH was in the front room, but 6 months in its really not helping our relationship not sleeping in the same bed!

aha lily no cry sleep solution - what exactly are you doing?
I have the toddler book (yes DS was a disaster too, didn't sleep through till 18months) but not the baby one.

"I suppose she could still be hungry at night - since she has fed in the night all her life her body is probably used to it."

Exactly.

You have two choices:
(1) Go with the flow. Let her decide when to sleep through the night. (This might be a long wait. There are people here whose 20 month olds still don't sleep through)
(2) Stop night feeds now. Suffer for 2-3 nights and then (most probably) enjoy the all-night sleep.

If you choose (2), your DH should be the one comforting your DD and somehow putting her back to sleep because she will smell the milk on you.

Good luck whatever you feel is right for your family.

I am following her technique where you put your finger under her chin and it supposedly helps you determine whether they are still hungry or not and makes you put them down more awake.
I am also trying to rouse her more at feeds and to use other methods rather than feed so dummy,blanket,pat,shh etc and ensure she goes 4 hours. Have been doing it less than week and she seems to have stopped waking at 9 which she did after bed at 7.
I am also trying to get better daytime routine established so she has 3 good sleeps rather than cat napping all day.
I agree though dd has always settled herself well for a sleep so i think it becomes a comfort thing that you need to break.

I am following her technique where you put your finger under her chin and it supposedly helps you determine whether they are still hungry or not and makes you put them down more awake.
I am also trying to rouse her more at feeds and to use other methods rather than feed so dummy,blanket,pat,shh etc and ensure she goes 4 hours. Have been doing it less than week and she seems to have stopped waking at 9 which she did after bed at 7.
I am also trying to get better daytime routine established so she has 3 good sleeps rather than cat napping all day.
I agree though dd has always settled herself well for a sleep so i think it becomes a comfort thing that you need to break.