4mo baby waking every 3 hours overnight for milk

wanderingwillows · 2026-08-31T01:03:39+00:00

4 months in and still here we are feeding every 3 hours at night. I switched to formula thinking it would improve things and occasionally it seems to (he dream feeds at 10.30 and sometimes won’t wake til 3 or occasionally 4) but vast majority of the time baby is up at 2, 5 then 7 for the day. Sometimes more frequently. I’m so fed up and exhausted. I feel like he shouldn’t be still going every 3 hours in the night. He’s sleeping as badly as he did the day he was born!! In the day he drinks between 800ml and 900ml total. I do what I can to give him as much as possible in the day but he only takes what he’ll take. In the night he at least has 180ml at his dream feed plus at least 200ml before 7am. I try not to give him loads so as to shift his hungriness into the day but, again, he’s a baby and does what he wants… Urgh :(

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sleepandcoffee · 31/08/2026 02:30

Honestly waking up every 3 hours at 4 months old is pretty good ! Don’t be shocked if it actually get’s worse soon as they hit the 4 month sleep regression.
both of my babies were terrible sleepers ( up every hour or 2 ) so you have my sympathy as it’s a real shock to the system when your not used to it

Batnm · 31/08/2026 03:40

Unfortunately it is completely normal. There are periods in the baby’s development when they will wake up more. Illness, growth, teething, learning a new skill, separation anxiety can come about at any age and disrupt sleep.

Brace yourself because sleep regressions are a nightmare. It doesn’t happen to every kid.

There is no magical fix. Bottle vs breast milk in my experience makes zero difference to how long they sleep.

You have my full sympathy, sleep deprivation is literally torture. Mange your expectations. Take every opportunity to ask for help and take breaks. Look after yourself.

I used to be apoplectic with rage when some one would say “it’s just a phase”. It never feels like that when you are in the trenches. But having (largely) come through the other side twice with my 2 kids, I now know it is in fact a phase. Everything ends.

You’ve got this! Good luck! And please please ask for help. If you have someone you trust to take care of baby for a few hours while you have a nap, don’t hesitate to ask.

paristotokyo · 31/08/2026 03:44

Totally normal, sorry. Mine woke up every 2 hours until 2 years old. Hopefully it won’t be that long for you, it depends on the child.

NullaEffugium · 31/08/2026 04:01

That’s completely normal.
Feeding him smaller amounts at night doesn’t shift the hungriness to the day. Similarly, over feeding during the day won’t make them less likely to wake up at night.

Their stomachs are tiny. They need to fill them more frequently. It’s not a good idea to overfeed in day and underfeed at night. The best way is to feed on demand.

OvergrownIvy · 31/08/2026 04:12

I'm typing this at 4.15am with my 4 month old, asleep on my chest who has woken up every hour tonight.

It's absolutely brutal - I have no advice but just know your not alone!

comealongdobbeh · 31/08/2026 04:23

I read that and thought it’s actually quite good for a 4mo old..!

persevere… he’ll get there x

NewShoes · 31/08/2026 11:45

That seems excellent for a four month old baby! My first woke every 45 mins until he was 9 months!

Tryagain26 · 31/08/2026 11:50

Waking every 3 hours for a feed is exhausting but honestly it is very normal and I think most 4 month old babies do it. Even at four months babies have tiny stomachs and there is a limit to how much they can take in one go
I naively expected my first child to sleep through from three months and got very stressed when they didn't which made me feel worse. ! With my second I accepted that I wouldn't have an unbroken nights sleep for at least a year and I felt much better and less tired

tarheelbaby · 31/08/2026 11:54

Sadly, that sounds completely possible. I think at that age both of mine were waking in the night. Their tummies are v. small so they need to be refilled often. It takes until they are at least 6mos for them to be big enough to stay full 'overnight'.

As per PPs, don't try to adjust his feeds - he'll take what he takes; as you say yourself. If anything, I'd let him feed as much as he wants overnight so that he's fuller then and thus likely to sleep longer.

It will get better. It really will. At 4mos, I think you can start on baby rice during the day and work towards weaning.

Peonies12 · 31/08/2026 12:57

That’s normal for a 4 month old, and pretty good in my experience. There’s no evidence that formula fed babies wake less. Mine didnt sleep through til 18 months.

Peonies12 · 31/08/2026 12:58

tarheelbaby · 31/08/2026 11:54

Sadly, that sounds completely possible. I think at that age both of mine were waking in the night. Their tummies are v. small so they need to be refilled often. It takes until they are at least 6mos for them to be big enough to stay full 'overnight'.

As per PPs, don't try to adjust his feeds - he'll take what he takes; as you say yourself. If anything, I'd let him feed as much as he wants overnight so that he's fuller then and thus likely to sleep longer.

It will get better. It really will. At 4mos, I think you can start on baby rice during the day and work towards weaning.

OP please don’t early wean or do baby rice. NHS advises 6 months and baby rice has no nutrional value. Start with vegetables

maggisimpson · 31/08/2026 13:06

Is he hungry, or does he need the bottle to settle to sleep?
How does he get to sleep normally?

MrsSlocombesCat · 31/08/2026 13:32

This is all very interesting. When I had my first baby I was in a mother and baby home. All the babies were kept a strict four hourly bottle feed. At six weeks we dropped the 2am feed and could only offer water. At 16 weeks the babies were offered solid food and then the 10pm feed was dropped. It was rare to hear babies cry in the night. When I went on to have four more sons I stuck to a similar routine. I couldn't breastfeed for long due to chronic mastitis. I used the same formula, Cow & Gate for hungry babies. I wasn't quite as strict and initially fed on demand but always with the aim of four hourly feeds. In those days we weaned early, sometimes as early as 8 weeks with baby rice. I wonder why it's so strict now with all these sleepless nights and misery. I don't know what the thinking is behind it. All my son's are healthy strapping lads, no weight issues or eating problems. They're 46 down to 35 years old. It's the same with their peers, all absolutely fine.

CocoPlum · 31/08/2026 13:37

MrsSlocombesCat · 31/08/2026 13:32

This is all very interesting. When I had my first baby I was in a mother and baby home. All the babies were kept a strict four hourly bottle feed. At six weeks we dropped the 2am feed and could only offer water. At 16 weeks the babies were offered solid food and then the 10pm feed was dropped. It was rare to hear babies cry in the night. When I went on to have four more sons I stuck to a similar routine. I couldn't breastfeed for long due to chronic mastitis. I used the same formula, Cow & Gate for hungry babies. I wasn't quite as strict and initially fed on demand but always with the aim of four hourly feeds. In those days we weaned early, sometimes as early as 8 weeks with baby rice. I wonder why it's so strict now with all these sleepless nights and misery. I don't know what the thinking is behind it. All my son's are healthy strapping lads, no weight issues or eating problems. They're 46 down to 35 years old. It's the same with their peers, all absolutely fine.

The reason for your chronic mastitis was almost certainly because you were feeding your baby on a schedule. This advice is incredibly outdated. We know better now!!

Cushionsy · 31/08/2026 13:41

I’m afraid to say it is normal- coping by just accepting it and trying to lean into the role fullly helped me a lot. It is a really vital job and it does not last forever though it feels like it at the time. Try and find your inner peace with it. Baby needs you when tiny and it will end.

Peonies12 · 31/08/2026 13:44

MrsSlocombesCat · 31/08/2026 13:32

This is all very interesting. When I had my first baby I was in a mother and baby home. All the babies were kept a strict four hourly bottle feed. At six weeks we dropped the 2am feed and could only offer water. At 16 weeks the babies were offered solid food and then the 10pm feed was dropped. It was rare to hear babies cry in the night. When I went on to have four more sons I stuck to a similar routine. I couldn't breastfeed for long due to chronic mastitis. I used the same formula, Cow & Gate for hungry babies. I wasn't quite as strict and initially fed on demand but always with the aim of four hourly feeds. In those days we weaned early, sometimes as early as 8 weeks with baby rice. I wonder why it's so strict now with all these sleepless nights and misery. I don't know what the thinking is behind it. All my son's are healthy strapping lads, no weight issues or eating problems. They're 46 down to 35 years old. It's the same with their peers, all absolutely fine.

You think it’s miserable now? I think it’s beyond cruel and dangerous to restrict night feeds that young. Of course you had mastitis ; you have to be BF often when theyre newborn.

maggisimpson · 31/08/2026 13:45

MrsSlocombesCat · 31/08/2026 13:32

This is all very interesting. When I had my first baby I was in a mother and baby home. All the babies were kept a strict four hourly bottle feed. At six weeks we dropped the 2am feed and could only offer water. At 16 weeks the babies were offered solid food and then the 10pm feed was dropped. It was rare to hear babies cry in the night. When I went on to have four more sons I stuck to a similar routine. I couldn't breastfeed for long due to chronic mastitis. I used the same formula, Cow & Gate for hungry babies. I wasn't quite as strict and initially fed on demand but always with the aim of four hourly feeds. In those days we weaned early, sometimes as early as 8 weeks with baby rice. I wonder why it's so strict now with all these sleepless nights and misery. I don't know what the thinking is behind it. All my son's are healthy strapping lads, no weight issues or eating problems. They're 46 down to 35 years old. It's the same with their peers, all absolutely fine.

4 hourly feeds were based on observations of farm animals. As you found it damages breastfeeding, causes women to have mastitis and supply issues and meant undernourished babies needed weaning early. Early weaning caused increased infections, poor nourishment and long term gut health problems.
More research has subsequently been done on human mothers and infants and we now have a better idea of what is healthy for humans.

Nearly50omg · 31/08/2026 13:56

He’s a baby. Their stomach is tiny and they can’t go all night on nothing. It shows his innards work very well and if he’s going back to sleep after his bottle fabulous!

the main question is why are you doing this all on your own and not being given 50% of the week to sleep while the father of this baby takes over?

Original poster

wanderingwillows · 31/08/2026 14:00

Thank you everyone for your responses. I am so tired that I’m feeling depressed so really appreciate all the input, advice and solidarity. It is reassuring to hear people say that this is normal, because almost everyone at my baby classes seems to have a baby that sleeps longer stretches at this point. I’ll persevere with it and try not to despair! Thank you

OP posts:

Minasama · 31/08/2026 14:01

You have to feed enough in the day that they will sleep at night. Gina Ford’s routines are good for this and she gives techniques to help you teach them to sleep through. You can usually get them to sleep at least 6 hours (ie one night waking) by this age, they might even sleep through.

Don’t listen to anyone who tells you Gina Ford is cruel, she’s a godsend. I have older children and GF had no ill effects!

Peonies12 · 31/08/2026 14:53

Minasama · 31/08/2026 14:01

You have to feed enough in the day that they will sleep at night. Gina Ford’s routines are good for this and she gives techniques to help you teach them to sleep through. You can usually get them to sleep at least 6 hours (ie one night waking) by this age, they might even sleep through.

Don’t listen to anyone who tells you Gina Ford is cruel, she’s a godsend. I have older children and GF had no ill effects!

they Might seem fine but it will live in their bodies forever that they were left to cry their tiny hearts out. 4 mobths is far too young for sleep training

NullaEffugium · 31/08/2026 15:01

wanderingwillows · 31/08/2026 14:00

Thank you everyone for your responses. I am so tired that I’m feeling depressed so really appreciate all the input, advice and solidarity. It is reassuring to hear people say that this is normal, because almost everyone at my baby classes seems to have a baby that sleeps longer stretches at this point. I’ll persevere with it and try not to despair! Thank you

I lied at the baby classes because the pressure on new mums is immense and I didn’t want unsolicited advice from nosy women on how to sleep train my baby.

I am willing to bet many of us were like yeah yeah my little darling sleeps from 10pm to 6am and only if they’re a bit congested or teething do I need to top them up in the wee hours. All lies because we were too exhausted to politely handle what can be some really batshit advice. I recall I made the mistake of being honest and a mum straight faced told me to use a syringe to give her a bit of whisky before her nightime feed. How do you react to that without causing a row?

The reality for me was I was a sleep walking zombie. I had never experienced micro naps before having a baby- you know the ones where you sleep with your eyes open for like 30secs at a time?

NullaEffugium · 31/08/2026 15:06

Minasama · 31/08/2026 14:01

You have to feed enough in the day that they will sleep at night. Gina Ford’s routines are good for this and she gives techniques to help you teach them to sleep through. You can usually get them to sleep at least 6 hours (ie one night waking) by this age, they might even sleep through.

Don’t listen to anyone who tells you Gina Ford is cruel, she’s a godsend. I have older children and GF had no ill effects!

Gah more outdated advice, she was writing in the 1990s and famously said she used techniques for training animals as the basis of her advice for babies. She was controversial even then and studies do show ill effects on babies subjected to such CIO methods. Such as increased risk of developing an anxiety disorder. How many 20-30yr olds are signed off work right now due to anxiety? It’s record breaking. No ill effects my arse.

Jan24680 · 31/08/2026 15:09

That sounds tough. Both mine have slept at least 8 hours from 6 weeks. They had regressions, colic etc. unfortunately I have no explanation and you seem to be doing nothing different to me. Youngest has just turned 4 months and as a preemie is still under the care of a dietitian, she says he's been fed too much, he has less than your baby. I do limit his daytime naps to 3 hours.

I had a quick look at a Gina Ford book once. I wasn't impressed, but it might be worth looking at it with a critical eye and seeing what you think.

lalalalalala2024 · 31/08/2026 15:12

i have a 5month old and I no longer feed at every feed, if it’s less than 3hrs I will always just pat his bum or rock the next to me back to sleep.
controversial but he sleeps on his belly now so it is easier to pat his bum.

Just before my baby was 4m old he went through an awful ‘regression’ I felt sick every day and then had to do the school run for the 6 year old too.

it has got easier but I’ve been following how often a baby should wake so at 5m it should be a 5hr stretch, then 3 and then another 3. Im also weaning off breastfeeding so hoping that will help too. So any wake up before the 3hrs I no longer feed.

it’s not good advice saying well that’s good because my baby did xyz. It is really really hard