Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

Original poster

End of my tether - what would YOU do? Regarding naps

24 replies

ItsNotYouItsMe · 14/04/2008 12:14

6mo DS will fall asleep on me, feeding, or rocking, I put him down in his cot, HE WAKES UP, I put the mobile on and leave him hoping he will drift back off, noooo, he is now awake, rolls over, gets stuck, cries, is inconsolable, and will not go back to sleep.

I will try anything. ANYTHING. He is very high maintenance and this is fine but I am now at a point where I NEED him to nap in a cot without me so I can stop from going crazy. We co sleep at night and whilst I am looking to stop soon, for now that's not a problem.

But I can't even unpack the bloody shopping or have a sandwich and I am seriously going crazy with it now.

Please help.

OP posts:

Febes · 14/04/2008 12:17

Have you tried putting him to sleep in your bed during day time naps? My sisters baby sleeps in her bed during the day and its much better. She wraps him not as tight as a swaddle but just to restrict his movements.

throckenholt · 14/04/2008 12:20

put him to bed a bit before you think he is tired (that way he doesn't get overtired) - leave him quitely, or potter quietly in his room - read a book or something. If you have timed it right he should drop off to sleep fairly soon.

Mine were nightmares to settle until I realised they were overtired. If I timmed it wrong they really struggled to get to sleep.

Original poster

ItsNotYouItsMe · 14/04/2008 12:21

I didn't swaddle him when he was small so he doesn't really like being restricted. I worry about him rolling off (I have the cot attached to the bed at night on his side, but he never really goes in it).

But if its a smell/comfort thing I will try if I ever get him back to sleep. You can see in his eyes he is tired, but now he wants to play...

OP posts:

Original poster

ItsNotYouItsMe · 14/04/2008 12:23

throcken that's the difficult part, in the day time he usually falls asleep whilst feeding.

maybe next feed I will take him up first so we are already there? Less disruption?

How I wish I'd put him down awake from day 1, like everyone said I should.

He has spent most of his 6 months sleeping on or with me or DP. Rod/own/back?

OP posts:

avenanap · 14/04/2008 12:25

My ds was like this. Very clingy. He's 9 now and a very loving child. It ounds as though you need to teach him to go to sleep without you. This is going to be hard but worth it in the long run. I used to put ds in his cot, which was right next to my bed, then I'd lie down with him, me on the bed, him in the cot so that he could see me. This way he knew that I was there and got use to being in his cot. Then I started to move away. Very gradually. Even if you start with your hands in the cot, this is fine but slowly move away. He's use to being with you, you comfort him when he's tired and it makes him feel safe. It's just not practical for you. It's a shock for him when he's asleep and is suddenly moved. The best option is to get him to go to sleep in his cot. It might take a while though so be patient. Be warned though that all of your hard work will be wasted if you give in and rock him to sleep just once. Good luck.

throckenholt · 14/04/2008 12:27

even at 6months mine were tired within 2 hours of waking up - sometimes a lot less if there was stuff going on.

I learnt the very hard way that if I didn't get them into their cot before that time then they just didn't sleep.

Get him into a routine of familiar things eg in his sleepingbag if he has one, curtains pulled etc. Use white noise too (eg out of tune radio) - it is supposed to help.

And maybe try and not let him fall asleep on you - so that you put him down awake but hopefully quite sleepy.

Original poster

ItsNotYouItsMe · 14/04/2008 12:28

Avenanap I think you are probably right. I am expecting too much of him. I do love him sleeping on me to be honest and I can't help but think, oh he will be too big soon so enjoy it - but that's not best for him long term.

Right, new plan. Eat lunch. Feed baby upstairs. Put baby in cot before he is asleep. Stay there. Take ipod

OP posts:

WriggleJiggle · 14/04/2008 13:32

I'm in exactly the same situation as you. dd2 was the perfect child, I could put her in her cot wide awake, she'd play quietly, then fall asleep. Now she doesn't sleep unless she's being held.

Original poster

ItsNotYouItsMe · 14/04/2008 14:01

It's impossible isn't it.

Just tried a nap. Put a lullaby CD on, quiet calm room. Laid down next to him, he rubbed his eyes, yawned a bit, wanted to feed. I tried to just cuddle, he screamed, got more and more agitated, so I had to feed him. He fell asleep, I pulled away. He woke up, latched back on. Repeat three times. Finally I got away, quietly quietly. Ten minutes of peace, then crying.

He is still tired, and so am I.

OP posts:

throckenholt · 14/04/2008 14:21

I found music just annoyed mine - but the white noise really seemed to help.

I think you being there is just making him think of feeding so you probably need to leave the room.

nedmum · 14/04/2008 14:26

ItsNotYou - we're the same. Ds has his naps on me, or in the car, or in the buggy. I've been trying at regular intervals since he was born to get him to nap in his cot (he's 11m now) and nothing has worked. He started nursery this morning (another thread...) and I'm terrified that if he can't get to sleep he'll go mad. We've tried the sitting with him, and leaving him to cry, but he just gets so hysterical it takes half an hour to settle him. He just seems to hate being alone...

Original poster

ItsNotYouItsMe · 14/04/2008 17:39

nedmum that's exactly why I need to sort this out now. I will be going back to work in 4 months. It's just so hard isn't it.

throck do you mean put some white noise on, pop him in the cot and leave the room? What if he cries?

OP posts:

hattyyellow · 14/04/2008 17:46

Have you tried wrapping him in an item of your clothing? I used to tuck one of my tops that I'd been wearing so smelt (pleasantly!) of me around my girls and it seemed to help.

I would have thought lullaby CD's etc would not help - too distracting.

I used to lie on the floor outside the girls room blowing a hairdryer and bizzarely the white noise did seem to help!

Febes · 15/04/2008 17:01

I would leave him to cry. Then go and get on with something noisy so you can't hear him. I bet by the time you have finished eg vaccuming he will be asleep.

WriggleJiggle · 15/04/2008 21:24

Had a breakthrough today after lunch. It was lovely and warm so I put dd2 in her old moses basket (admittedly a bit squished up ) and put it under a tree in the garden. Tied baloons / mirrors / interesting stuff hanging from the branches andit worked! She burbled happily then slept for 3 hours !!!!

dd1 was a non sleeping child too. She used to be the only one in the baby room at nursery who NEVER slept during the day.

dd1 did eventually start having two naps a day when she started waking. I can't wait for dd2 to walk.

bluegrey · 22/04/2008 22:06

I've just posted on another thread, but will repeat here as I'm desperate for help and it's so good to hear some similar tales on this thread. Basically, my 15wo can go through the whole day with NO naps and then only sleeps for 9 hours (broken once or twice including by my dreamfeed) at night. Is she going to be ok having such little sleep??? She finds it impossible to switch off and even half an hour on the M25 took her half an hour to sleep! In the pram it can take an entire 40 minute walk and she still won't have shut her eyes. I've tried doing longer walks, tried putting her in her cot (trying this every day at the mo), but she just doesn't want to sleep although I know she's tired (at least some of the time). I really feel like I've tried everything - with the exception of controlled crying, which I'm too scared to try as she has reflux and is genuinely in a lot of pain with it... A good day is one where she has two x 30 - 40 min naps...

kate76 · 23/04/2008 08:56

We put our DD in her buggy in her room and push it up and down until she is asleep. She likes the rocking motion, and generally falls asleep pretty quickly. She always refused to nap in her cot in the day, and in the end I got fed up with all the effort. I always feel a bit embarassed saying to other people (especially those whose babies nap perfectly!) that she is 15 months and still napping in her buggy, but sometimes you just have to do whatever it takes to get you through the day!

Deanna75010 · 23/04/2008 10:36

I find that the most reliable thing to get a young baby to sleep is to put them in a baby carrier and walk around (buggy/stroller/pusher just doesn't work for her much). I have trouble getting DD to go to sleep without being BF directly beforehand (sometimes it works, mostly I have to feed her, even when I know she shouldn't be hungry sigh). My presence doesn't seem to be as important as the sleepy hormones from the milk.. But putting her in a wrap or a sling almost always works. She struggles a bit first but then drops off. I've even managed to then put her down from the carrier if she's sleepy enough (often she'll wake when I move her but go back to sleep without protesting).

Stefka · 23/04/2008 12:30

Sling. It's the only way I can get DS to sleep.

gingerninja · 23/04/2008 12:34

sorry haven't time to read all posts so may be repeating some. Have you got a sling? DD was a nightmare until about 8 months then started to settle and nap better. She'd still fall asleep on me generally but I could put her down and she'd stay there for a while.

You could get a backpack sling like an ergo and then stick him on your back and you'll have hands free and movement is much easier.

Slings saved my sanity on more than one occassion.

pinkspottywellies · 23/04/2008 12:36

When dd was 6 months I used to take her for a walk and she'd go to sleep in her pram. As she got older though I would walk for aaaages and she still wouldn't be asleep BUT one day I got back and left her outside the door while I started to get lunch ready and she had a whinge for a couple of minutes then went to sleep. So perhaps if you're going to try the walking thing, then leave them in the pram for a bit longer and see of they doze off.

gingerninja · 23/04/2008 12:41

just skimming and have some advice.

Those worried about wanting baby to nap in cot. Don't stress, you'll just get it to work then realise how limiting it is and you need to get out but baby will only sleep in cot. Try to encourage a mix of environments. I used to leave DD on cushions on the living room floor.

Nursery sleep: Don't worry, nursery staff are great and tend to rock or pat them to sleep. IME my DD slept so much better at nursery and now goes and lays down to sleep on her own (which she doesn't do at home)

Leaving to cry: Not essential. I've never left my DD. It's been bloody hard work at times but she's now happy to go to sleep alone and stay there all night. No tears involved. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.

This is just a phase, it won't last forever. Good luck

Tinkjon · 24/04/2008 09:29

OP, I think we must have been separated at birth I am in exactly the same situation (DD is 7.5 months) and it is driving me INSANE. Like you said, you can't get a minute to yourself! I'm so jealous of all these mums who put their babies down for 1.5 hours and have a rest or get their jobs done. And it makes it really hard when I try to find sometime for his older sister-"sorry, Mummy just has to walk the baby around for an hour" Re. the sling advice, yes it really works, but that's just frying pan/fire for me. You still can't get much done and then when they're really heavy they're difficult to sling up. Have you seen the Robopax Dream Movers? They're automatic pram rockers. I got one from Ebay and sadly it didn't really work for us, but might be worth a try? Gert the larger model if you're interested, as that can run for 12 hours, unlike the previous version which runs for15 mins. By following a nap-cue system and, frankly, leaving him to cry for10mins or so, I can get sometimes get DS to sleep in cot, but he only sleeps for 25 mins so wakes up exhausted and is miserable all day. So I'm afraid I have no real advice for you, just tons and tons of sympathy! Let me know if you find anything which works!!

Tinkjon · 24/04/2008 09:31

Actually, one thing I forgot to mention - I posted about this some time ago and asked if anybody had babies who were like this, but who learned to sleep in their cot by themselves eventually, and loads of people replied that one day their babies just did it (they hadn't done anything different). So keep holding onto that possibility - that's what I'm doing

Flip