Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

I dont think I can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!

26 replies

livvylouis · 06/03/2008 20:05

DS is 7 months and never slept though. Spoke to health visitor today and she has suggested the controlled crying method. Its only been half hour and he hasn't stopped crying yet and its just making me feel sick! Can't remember the last time I slept well. Has anyone any other suggestions as I can't see this working and I'm at breaking point.

OP posts:
sdr · 06/03/2008 20:18

Start with 10 mins, if you're not happy then he will sense it. Next night, make it 11 mins. Little baby steps - it will get better.

pulapula · 06/03/2008 20:21

Have you been going in every few minutes to calm him down?

I suggest staying in the room, picking up when he cries (hold against your shoulder) and putting back down when he stops (or after 2 mins whatever). Try and calm him in the cot and only pickup if you can't. Eventually he should get tired and drift off- stay til he is. There will still be crying but he won't feel abandoned.

mollymawk · 06/03/2008 20:30

There is a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution that might have some useful ideas.

What is he waking up for? It's not actually very unusual for babies this age not to sleep through - we are all brainwashed into thinking they "should" but really there is no reason why they ought to. He might just be hungry.

You could try co-sleeping - then if what he needs is comfort he gets that automatically without you having to move!

Hillbilly · 06/03/2008 21:04

Also try a book called The Baby Whisperer - worked for my dd and am currently using it for ds (4 months)

Original poster
livvylouis · 07/03/2008 19:26

Thanks for the suggestions guys!
Molly I dont think he is hungry when he wakes but he does like to feed for comfort to get back off to sleep he is brestfed and will only feed for a minute or so through the night but he can wake up to 8 times a night. Have been co-sleeping which was great at first but the last month or so he has been keeping us up most of the night plus DH thinks it about time he was in his own room .

OP posts:
mentalpup · 07/03/2008 22:16

Was just going to suggest the No cry sleep solution book. See that someone else has, but I can second it!! Currently on Amazon from £5.99.

Nessamommy · 08/03/2008 04:37

By 7 months, your baby shouldn't need to eat during the night and only does so out of habit (except during growth spurts). There is a truly wonderful book, and easy book (took me 2 days to read). It's called the Sleep Easy Solution. Many of my friends have used this method and I have yet to hear that it hasn't worked. I plan to use it on my little one in a bit here when we won't be swaddling him to sleep anymore. Basic idea is that you let them cry (they say it's inevidtable b/c your child is learning how to fall asleep and therefore is frustrated...unavoidable). You go in after 5 min (don't pick up your child)..just go say, "It's okay honey, I know you are trying to fall asleep. Mommy's here. Keep trying. You're doing very well." Or whatever just to let them know you haven't abandoned them. Then you leave, let them cry for 10 min. Do the same thing, then extend it to 15 min. Don't wait longer than 15 min. The book goes into much more great advice. I know it's still crying but atleast you will feel better knowing that you aren't totally leaving them alone for hours in a dark room.

phraedd · 09/03/2008 10:38

I too have the "no cry sleep solution " as well as many others.

It is a lovely book with a very friendly approach that won't leave you feeling like a bad parent.

See if your local library has a copy

You could also try colled, bolied water at every 2nd awakening so that baby learns that milk isn't also on offer

pruners · 09/03/2008 10:52

Message withdrawn

cruisemum1 · 09/03/2008 15:30

my recommendatigon is to do cc but leave very small intervals ie. 2 mins, 2 mins, 4 mins, 4 mins, 5 mins 5 mins etc. I did this with ds after 8.5mths of complete and utter sleep deprived hell and it was well worth it. I was keeping him awake by always bf back to sleep, he was keeping me awawke by always needing bf back to sleep so we created a vicious cycle that I had to break. He slep much better, I slept much better and it took about 4 nights getting better and easier each night. Not for everyone but so necessary for me. hth

cruisemum1 · 09/03/2008 15:32

oh and I did get the No Cry Sleep Solution and it was worthless. Sounded great in theory but in practice it was useless for us

Disenchanted · 09/03/2008 15:32

My HV told me they were not allowed to recommend CC anymore as it can be psycologically damaging to the baby!

cruisemum1 · 09/03/2008 15:33

what a load of bull...imho ! My ds has shown no signs of being damaged owing to cc. he was showing signs of being exhausted, grumpy, and lethargic before it though!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 09/03/2008 15:35

Yes, short intervals. Half an hour is too long for both you and the baby. I haven't done this for years but I used it successfully with 2 of my children. You build it up very gradually. When you go back, sooth from the side of cot, with gentle touches and murmurs. Don't pick up, don't say much. Wait for him to calm down then leave again. Build up slowly.

He is a bit younger than mine were to be honest but I know how desperate for a night's sleep you must feel.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 09/03/2008 15:37

Agree Cruise.. no quality sleep for a long time can be VERY psychologically damaging for the PARENTS and not much help for the development of the child!

Trust me - I have had 7 years sleep deprivation with my (SN) son and no quality sleep on the horizon.. ever!

Disenchanted · 09/03/2008 15:38

That was not my opinon by the way but my HVS!

cruisemum1 · 09/03/2008 16:43

SHPHH - you must be an amazing woman. I take my hat off to you and others in your sitiation .
Disenchanted. The HV is obvioulsy getting her full quota of sleep! and yes, the key for me was very short intervals. Going in, reassuring, quick kiss on head, leave. and over and over and over. I think the first night it took about 50mins and then i had to do the same for subsequent night wakings (ds used to sleep in burst of 90mins to 2 hrs occasionally throwing in a three hour stint but this was usually before I went to bed anyway so no help to me sleepwise). It was hard hard hard adn I felt loathesome but once I had started I had to continue for all our sakes (I have a dd too). It was miraculous the first night he slept through and I felt reborn. Of course, I developed insomnia for about 2 months afterwards but at least I knew ds was able to develop and thrive properly. Whatever you chose - good luck!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 09/03/2008 18:23

Oh cruise, I am not an amazing woman, trust me I'm a bitch from hell sometimes but at least I getto blame it on lack of sleep

cruisemum1 · 09/03/2008 22:01

SHPHH - I bet you are. We are all amazing, but some deserve more recognition than others, God bless.

MummyAnnabella · 09/03/2008 22:25

my ds didnt sleep through until 5 months when we put him in his own room. he slept 14 solid hours that night and has never wakened again through the night and is now 8 months.

i think the slightest noise from us woke him and he too was b/f and wouldnt settle witout feed. fact he slept through in his own room showed he didnt need fed.

maybe try his own room? we didnt want to move him out at 5 months but i would do it sooner next time if it means full nights sleep!!

Original poster
livvylouis · 10/03/2008 19:26

I think I will try the no cry sleep solution book thanks. CC doesn't seem to be working too well for us although on saturday night he slept from 7pm through til 2am, the longest stint ever but from around 3.30am he did nothing but cry and last night was even worse! DH does try to help during the night but he works shifts had has to be up for work really early so its quite difficult. Thanks for all the advice it has been reasurring to know that I'm not the only one who hasn't slept for months .
xx

OP posts:
TrinityRhino · 10/03/2008 19:29

you are definitely NOT the only one
I cannot do CC, I dont beleive in it but I am going to be doing someything as gecko is now 13 months and has never slept through

Mumsnut · 10/03/2008 19:34

Sounds to me as if he was truly hungry at 3.30 am.

Mumsnut · 10/03/2008 19:34

Sounds to me as if he was truly hungry at 3.30 am.

Mumsnut · 10/03/2008 19:34

Oops.

I am not against cc, by the way. It just seemed to me that if he would settle before then, but not after, there must be something else in the mix then.