Baby sleeps fine it is just me that is the problem

[Lateasusual]

Ever since our baby was born 10 weeks ago I have had terrible problems getting to sleep myself. Last night I actually didn't sleep at all. I am starting to get to the point where I fear going to bed because I know I won't be able to get to sleep. Any ideas or tips? I have tried naping during the day but this just doesn't happen.

How are you feeding your baby? BFing promotes sleep, might be worth co-sleeping? Also may have implications for anything you could take to help you sleep, eg Nytol, so check with pharmacist.

A few ideas - if possible have a bedtime routine for yourself - bath (+ lavender?), read a little, dark room, milky drink, bed. Avoid caffeine after lunchtime. Eat a starchy meal for dinner, lettuce and turkey are also sleep-promoting IIRC. Try and get some gentle exercise (pram-pushing is ideal) every single day, and do it during daylight hours.

My failsafe may not be appropriate given you're 10 weeks post-partum but orgasm gives you a fantastic oxytocin hit, I'm asleep within minutes

Hi I have this problem sometimes

go to this site and have a look at some of the links to relaxation mp3s

I found the Meditation Podcast links really helpful, as well as the Kaiser Permanente ones, and I listen to them either on an I-pod (if dh is coming to bed later and can gently remove it when I have nodded off) or with laptop next to bed

Just wondering...is baby sleeping in the same room as you or in his/her own room? Do you think that you might have a hard time falling asleep b/c you might be anxious about the baby getting up etc.? When you are lying awake at night, what are you thinking about?

On a few occasions (when dd had woken me up
and needed a cuddle in the middle of the night)
I had the same problem.

Trying 'harder' to go to sleep did not work so
the next time I just got up and sat on the sofa
reading some management book.

You probably know this already but the worst
thing you can do is to fret about it!

DaddyJ did you mean to write that as a poem?

Lateasusual insomnia can sometimes be a sign of depression. Is this a possibility with you? What is it that keeps you awake or can't you pinpoint the problem?

I had this problem , dont nap in the day and have a routine for yourself, hot bath, book and bed. Excersice, cut out caffine, and deep breath 3 in 5 out when going to bed, think of happy thoughts or a place you love, running water fall. It could be post natal depression.
I had insomnia for 2 months so the quicker you sort it out the better. Go see your GP and talk to them about this.
Hope you sleep better.

I had this after I had my little girl and it was just horrible, so I really sympathise. I just couldn't sleep and would lie there literally all night some nights just watching the clock and getting into a state because I couldn't sleep. I was convinced I had post natal depression, but looking back now i think i was just a terribly over anxious new mum and couldn't switch off. I tried everything - warm baths, lavendar, herbal sleeping pills, even some temazepam that the doctor gave me, but nothing really worked. Then, a lady from my local nhs trust sent me some leaflets on sleep and relaxation, and i realised it was my mind and mental state that was the problem ie. whilst i was such an anxious state, none of that other stuff would ever help me sleep. Some nights my heart would be pounding i was so anxious. It seems crazy looking back, but for whatever reason, I had got myself into a real state about it all. The leaflets had some breathing and relaxation exercises in them, and after a bit I started to relax and just lie there quietly and breathe, and chill out a bit...and I would drop off eventually. And even if I didn't I used to say to myself, well at least you're relaxing and getting some rest, it doesn't matter if you don't sleep...
I still have horrible nights now where I toss and turn, but its nothing like it was. Its hard becoming a new mum and I used to feel like a failure for lieing there wide awake when my baby and my husband were both asleep next to me! I hope things get easier soon, and I'm sure you'll start to adjust a bit.

Thanks all for your tips. Kate - this sounds just like me and I know that the harder you try to go to sleep the worse it is. I know that the main reason I'm not sleeping is because I'm an anxious first time mum - I worry about everything during day and find it really hard to switch off. I have tried going to sleep in another room because my husband and babies breathing bothers me but I found all that happened is I just listened out harder for baby. Did get a couple of good nights at beginning of week after a hot bath and camomile tea. I guess I just need to take the attitude that I'm having a rest in bed if nothing else!!

If it continues you should see your GP. I had this (post natal anxiety, call it PND if you like). It's really debilitating and can get serious if it goes on too long. I tried relaxation techniques but that didn't touch the sides so I went to the GP and got further help. It DOES pass by the way. Good luck.

I had this for 18 months. Bloody awful!! Calcium is important to help brain wind down so maybe get a good supplement. Also essential oil of chamomile, vetivert, frankinsence, rose otto, ylang ylang are excellent sedatives in a bath at night.
Being a new mum is a huge shock and sleep is elusive at first but eventually you'll get into it and baby grows up and things chill out so it will change.
also check your diet. Try to have heavy soothing food in the evening like mash potato, rice and proteins. Avoid salads etc cos they're very enlivening. you don't have to eat like this forever just until you are settled.
I use nytol and other herbal stuff and that helps.
All the best to you. xxxx