DS 3 wks old and will only sleep in our arms!

[kelbel]

Hi this is my first baby and just want to know if this is typical? we've tried and tried to put DS in moses basket but he doesn't settle for more than 20 mins, but sleeps for hours in our arms or nx to us in bed.Tried swaddling, but he hates it,now in grow bag. any advice welcome, we've started a bedtime routine from a few days, bath, massage, feed, lights dimmed

This happened with both of mine. I co-slept with them on a futon, and they gradually grew out of it. By the 2 month mark they would sleep for part of the night in the carry cot beside me. The time they would sleep in the cot grew as they did.

They are now 11 and 7 years old1 How time goes by. they are now both very good sleepers, if that is any comfort

It's very typical, and it's normally a short lived phase. Certainly by 8-10 weeks mine were settling off me most of the time. In the early weeks, I literally used to sleep with them on my tummy or chest.

Some babies are just like that, and you are not "making a rod for your own back".

May be worth re-trying the swaddling, mind you -- I was convinced DS hated it, then when he was around 8 weeks got the Harvey Karp DVD Happiest Baby on the Block and did it his way (couldn't follow the instructions in the book) and it worked miracles. Even then some babies don't take to it, but can be worth persevering.

thanks for reassurance, you hear so much abouth how they need to sleep on backs, so i was worried about him falling asleep on us all the time

kelbel you could also try putting a top you or your dp has been wearing in with him. If you are b/f one of yours that will smell of you and milk is great but if not b/f it will still smell of you anyway. I would also second what PandL says about swaddling. Like all new things sometimes you think they don't like it. For example dd2 hated the first 2 baths we gave her, screamed until she went beetroot but it is now her favourite thing.

My dd1 was good at settling by herself but our dd2 - now 4 months is very different. She likes a dummy (not for everyone I know and I avoided it in the early days). Even now she sleeps better when we are in the room with her, so in the day she doesn't sleep for long.

If you are worried, then the baby whisperer shush-pat technique may work- you put them in their basket when sleepy and if they cry, shush them and pat on their backs - easiest if they are swaddled and propped on their side. Young babies can only focus on 2 things at a time so will stop crying and fall asleep. you can then lie them on their back. if they don't you pick them up and shush-pat whilst they're on your shoulder.

However i remember being so tired in those early days that i just let DS sleep on me at night!

We also gave DS a dummy from day 2! he would suck it to sleep.

Both mine did this! I was anxious with dd but enjoyed it far more with ds as I knew it was just a (very cuddly) phase.

They both co-slept. They are 4 and 6 now and trot happily off to bed.

Don't worry!

let the baby sleep on you! he's only 3 weeks and quite naurally wants to cuddle up with his mum. You can transfer to cot or whatever later (say 3 months or older if you prefer). I co slept with my 7.5 month old until he was 4.5 months and then transferred him to his cot. No problems at all. I think co sleeping in very early months makes babies more secure and more able to enjoy going to sleep as a pleasurable thing to do rather than something to get upset about.