Three week old baby refuses to sleep - help!

[ChocolateHobnob]

My DD is three weeks old. She is very lively, alert and good natured. However she barely sleeps - she simply refuses to nap all day and then becomes a real grump in the evening for hours. Getting her to sleep is a major struggle at night, though when she finally does (after hours!) then she sleeps for a while. She is bf. The situation is different when she naps during the day... so my question is: how do I help her to nap during the day? Thanks!

I'd begin with training her into it. If she will nap on you then let her. That way you rest and she rests. Then, later, you can retrain her to do it on her own.

Find what she likes. Maybe she likes napping in the pram when you go for a walk. Maybe she likes snuggling up with you (this is the best one because you could fall asleep too or watch telly, make phone calls etc). Maybe she will only do it if you drive.

In the long run of it, it doesn't matter at this age about developing a habit. Habits can be changed and its more important that you and she get some peace time.

Have you got a sling? Twas the only way to get my LO to sleep in the day when he was wee... that and pushing him round the block in the pram (helped shift the baby weight ).

Alternatively you could lie down on your bed with her and BF her to sleep? Then either sneak away (making sure she can't roll off) or, preferably, take 40 winks yourself!

Can't remember who said it on here recently but apparently newborns shouldn't be awake for more than two hours at a time. Perhaps she's not good at showing you when she's tired? Sometimes they need the option taking away- after a feed, swaddle her up firmly with a soft cotton sheet, pop her dummy in if she has them, and either rock her gently, stroke her face, or put her down in her basket. Don't go out of your way to keep everywhere silent (that'll make a rod for your own back!) but try to get rid of distractions initially so she learns to take a few long naps.

My DD was just like this - it used to drive me crazy as everyone elses babies used to nap loads during day (but not so well at night)

Its still early days, but I'd use any method of getting her to sleep - bf her to sleep, carry her in a sling, take her out for a walk - are you putting her down in the day in her cot or having her around - some babies need the sound of activity around them, but too much visual stimulation can stop them from sleeping. When I used to take DD out in the pushchair I alway used to have to pull the hood right down so she couldn't see anything. I also used to put her in her bouncy chair facing the wall and gently rock her to sleep.

Don't worry about forming any 'bad habits' at this stage as you need to do what works for you at this time.

I found that DD used to get tired about 1 1/2 hours after waking in the morning so would aim to get her to sleep about this time, and then repeat throughout the day after she'd slept.

Mine too. My DD1 didn't sleep in the day, was rubbish at night too. I didn't return to the ante-natal group because they all made me feel like a freak because my girl grumbled the whole time instead of napping after a b/f like theirs all did.

Then at around 8 weeks she began sleeping through the night and I felt like running back and saying "SEE, HA HA"

She never did nap very well in the day but she is adorable (age 6.5) and I forgive her anything Even the hoovering with the sling on, even the pacing the floor, even the rocking her with loud music on, even the driving round town at night. All of it.

Didn't anyone ever tell you - they don't sleep when they're three weeks old. Or at least they don't sleep when you want them to to. It gets better. Hang in there and grab forty winks when you can.

Thank you for the support!

She sleeps in the car, but I don't drive and have had a C-section and my bruising wasn't going down so haven't been allowed to take the pram out on my own yet. The sling does work (I've got a Hugabub!) and I guess I just have to use it more - the thing is I kind of wanted to be able to sleep while she slept sometimes. If I abandon that and keep to the Hugabub then she will sleep a bit. I was just worried because everyone from my antenatal class says their babies nap all day long and it made me wonder how they managed it!

Thanks for the encouragement - I was thinking I was doing something hugely wrong.

Get into bed, lie down and b/f. She will be happy and you can snooze.

and never listen to the ante natal class. Too much comparisons for my liking.

my DS is now 10 weeks and not a good day sleeper either. i have found that having a nap myself with boobie chomper attached is the only way that works well. he drifts of to sleep in bliss.