Toddler newly waking at 0545

[Goosethemoose]

My 21 month old has started waking at 5.30-5.45am and won’t resettle. It started as 0645 and we started bringing him into our bed so he wouldn’t disturb his brother (they share a room), but it’s got earlier and earlier. It’s now totally unworkable. How can we fix this?

He goes to bed at 7.30pm, usually asleep by 7.45-8pm at a guess. Naps around 90mins from 1.30pm. He’s currently a bit clingy as he’s settling into nursery, but we’ve got to nip this in the bud.

Has anyone dealt with this successfully?

When you figure it out, let me know. My almost 3 year old has spent the last month waking at midnight, 2am, 4am and then 5:30am for the day. For the three or four months prior he'd slept pretty much 7-6, but it's all gone to pot again. I hate the ups and downs of toddler sleep.

I think the nap is ending a bit late. Can you get him down a bit earlier and wake him by two?

Shorten the nap or cut it completely!

I would also wake at 2ish. How is his communication and understanding?
My son is a few months older and recently started waking early morning. My mum gave me a tip which has been working (at nap time/bedtime and morning). I go into his room and give him a cuddle for a few minutes and then tell him I am just going to get something or do something and I'll be back in a minute. E.g I'm just going to get my slippers and then I'll be back. He went straight back to sleep after that. I know that doesn't stop the wake up itself but gets me and him more sleep still!

Mine is 3 and still going strong at this. I’m tired.

The nap is stuck at 1.30 because we need to leave at 12.30 to pick up his brother from nursery most days, and get back around 1.25. Before we had someone around (wfh) so he could be left and he used to sleep 12.30-2.30, but that’s not possible any more.

Cutting the nap feels early? He’s tired by the time he goes down for it. My eldest dropped his nap at 2y9m, so I’m reluctant to do it now for the younger. I also don’t think he’d last the whole day… Maybe shortening it?

545-6am isn’t a bad waking time to be honest … I’d take that!

No. No. It is totally unacceptable. Continuing as we are is not an option. He understands “sit down and be quiet” or “it’s time for sleep” perfectly well, he just doesn’t want to do it.

Once you find a way to make him understand it’s unacceptable, be sure to let us know!

Feel your pain as that was normal here and I never managed to fix it. We had a gro-clock and he learned that ‘Mr Sun’ needed to be awake before he got up. I watched a lot of pre-breakfast news, I was very well informed on the Hong Kong stock exchange!

So he could play in his room but I guess that wouldn’t work for you if his brother would then wake too?

6am seems quite reasonable to me.
If he’s in bed for 7.30.

My 7yo still gets up at 5.45……

Could you set off earlier for the nursery pick up so that he has shorter earlier nap in buggy or car seat? It’s harder with younger kids as they have to fit around older sibs timetable.

Your expectations are way too high. 5.45-6 is a perfectly normal time for toddlers to wake up.

By all means leave him in his bed with some books or quiet toys if you don't want to get up and he's content to play. However expecting him to go back to sleep isn't a reasonable expectation and all your doing is ensuring you're starting each day in a bad mood.

@Goosethemoose

No. No. It is totally unacceptable. Continuing as we are is not an option. He understands “sit down and be quiet” or “it’s time for sleep” perfectly well, he just doesn’t want to do it.

🤣 I can tell weyher you were being funny or serious there. I'm afraid there's no magic solution. Cutting the nap probably won't even help. Might just make him go to bed earlier.

@Rainallnight

Once you find a way to make him understand it’s unacceptable, be sure to let us know!

😭

I’m being partially serious. Recently he also got into the habit of a couple of night wakings, after a bout of illness. He just liked being cuddled for a bit before dropping back off, at 2/4am. Who wouldn’t like that?! But it wasn’t working for us, so we did some gentle sleep training and it’s stopped. Now it’s just the early wake ups.

I see a few options: 1) something like a Gro Clock so he learns to wait and lie quietly, 2) later bedtime, 3) earlier/shorter nap. We can do earlier nap 3 days a week (Fri-Sun) but not Mon-Thurs. Not sure how best to approach, hence asking for experiences.

But I have zero intention of accepting that I will be up before 6am for the next few years! Obviously it might happen anyway, but I’m not just going to think “ah well, kids eh?” and make no attempt to change it!

But I have zero intention of accepting that I will be up before 6am for the next few years! Obviously it might happen anyway, but I’m not just going to think “ah well, kids eh?” and make no attempt to change it!

By all means try and change it but honestly sometimes the best thing you can do in a situation like this is accept that is how things are for now and roll with it.

No one likes being up early with small children but sometimes it's inevitable and unfortunately if your child is an early riser then a no gro clock, changing bedtime or naps etc will change that.

I was always told early wake ups mean to early bedtime or overtired 🤷🏼‍♀️

My middle one woke at 5.45am till he was about ten. He wasn’t getting us up by the later years, but some body clocks are just like that.
Hopefully you can make some tweaks that will give a later waking time, but if not you might just need to adjust your own day a bit.

@Pickle2021

I was always told early wake ups mean to early bedtime or overtired 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is contradictory though… so then the question becomes, should we shift bedtime earlier or later?! He’s getting around 10.5 + 1.5h sleep in 24h as things stand… which is bang in the middle of the range Google says he should be getting. So maybe changing it to 8pm? He goes to bed nicely and settles well around 7.30-7.40.

He's getting a good amount of sleep on a night time, and tbh whilst the early mornings hurt he's doing really well.
I would rather be up early than wake ups through the night.
His nap is late so I would knock bed time back half an hour.
Changes won't happen over night it takes afew days but even then some kids are just early risers.

Yeah, but he’s not been an early riser before. I guess this is the issue, if he’d always been up early it would be different but I used to have to wake them both around 7.20am for nursery etc. And this was within the last couple of months, I’d say!

Also, 6.30 is one thing, but 5.30 is unworkable with my job. I know he’s unsettled from a few changes like starting nursery, but this can’t be the consequence.

I also don’t know what to do when he wakes- I don’t want to reward it by bringing him down, but I also don’t want him yelling for an hour and disturbing his poor brother.

@Oh9autumn

545-6am isn’t a bad waking time to be honest … I’d take that!

I agree, that's morning!

It's a hard one, when people say too much sleep or too little sleep. I had same thing with my LO. It's all tinkering and managing unfortunately. It takes approx 2 weeks for any changes you make to start to show.thats if you chose to make changes.

I know my friends lo she's about your lo age. She doesn't let her nap during day and will sleep from 630pm/7pm until 730am the next morning. If not later some days 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yeah, but he’s not been an early riser before

People's sleep patterns change all the time.

I also don’t know what to do when he wakes- I don’t want to reward it by bringing him down

I don't understand how it's a reward bringing him down for the day.