7.5 months and just will not fall asleep at night!

[Middmary]

My DS is consistently waking only once at night for a bottle (rarely twice). He did have 3 naps a day, which he recently dropped to 2 (around 10:30-11 and 2-4). His last nap usually no later than 5pm (8pm bedtime). We have no problems getting to sleep at nap times or during night wakes. A quick 2 minutes in his swing, gets him drowsy then just lay him in his cot. During night waking, I either pick him up and soothe him then pop him back down or I just hug him and lay next to him and he is out again. The problem is bedtime.

We have a bedtime routine. Or try to. Bottle, bath, story, bed. He sleeps in a cot next to the bed (lack of space unfortunately).

However, at bedtime it can takes 2 hours minimum to get him to sleep. Rocking, put him down. He plays for a bit. Then cries and cries, pick him up and repeat. FOR HOURS. I dread night time. I have tried CIO, pick up put down, taking him downstairs for half and hour then bringing him back to bed, rocking him, feeding him, putting him in the car. Literally nothing works. He has been like this since he was around 1 month. It bothered me less before but now I am working and I wake up around 5am for work, I just cannot do it anymore. I need a few hours in the evening to catch up on work. I cannot deal with this 2/3/4 hour bedtime routine. It is tiring and it is driving me insane! All my evenings are taken trying to put him to sleep. When he is finally asleep, I am exhausted and just fall asleep myself.

Since, he has done this for so long and I have asked this question in so many places but to no avail, I have lost all hope. If anyone out there has any new ideas or advice I am desperate for help now. Thanks

How old is your ds? It sounds like he could be under-tired at bedtime and may need less day sleep?

Have you tried a later bedtime or an earlier/ shorter afternoon nap? 5pm is quite late to wake up from a nap of bedtime is 8pm. It sounds like he just isn’t tired and that that’s why he’s not going to sleep.

Oh sorry just seen he's 7.5 months.

So my first thought is 8pm seems a little late for bedtime for that age. Mine is exactly the same age and she's ready to drop by 6.45, any later and she gets a sort of second wind (if you haven't already- read about cortisol and melatonin it's super interesting and helpful for understanding sleep) where she gets playful and active again then she finds it really hard to settle for bed. With more cortisol in their systems it also results in a more unsettled night. Could you aim for a 6pm bath and 7pm bedtime and see if it helps?

It sounds like you have a good bedtime routine... what's his sleep environment like? How dark is the room, is there anything he could be finding stimulating? Have you tried white noise to drown out any background tv or washing machine or anything? Do you start turning the lights down before bed/avoid screen time etc?

And yes agree with pp 5pm a bit late for last nap

Hi, thanks, I will try putting him down at around 7pm. He wakes up around 8am on his own, regardless of how long he has slept so it was why we initially changed from 7pm to 8pm. But I will try reverting back and see what happens.

Sorry I should have clarified. His afternoon nap is 2-4, sometimes a little earlier or a little later. I meant 5pm is the absolute latest if we overrun sometimes but usually it is around 2-4pm

Hi yes, sorry should have clarified. His nap is usually from 2-4pm. Absolute latest, rarely, we might go to 5pm if he is out and about but definitely no later than that and 5pm is not something that happens regularly.

Yes I do reduce afternoon nap to 2-3/3:30 but then that usually means he wants a third nap around 6pm. If he sleeps so early he wakes up again around 6:30-7pm and then we are up almost half the night. I also think this confuses him and he spends the evening very miserable and grumpy. I will try playing around with nap times again. I just cannot find his sleep sweet spot it seems. Will keep trying, thanks

I think his sleep environment might be okay as during naps and at night-time wakes he if fine. It is literally just this one time he will not go to bed. But we have blackout curtains, he sleeps in his cot with a thin duvet, sometimes an extra blanket if it is cold.

He is not really interested in TV honestly, we do not put it on much. He watches it in the mornings but never past maybe 11am. I will try white noise. I tried it before and he was just mesmerised by it but that was a while ago. He is a little older now so it might help. Thanks