13 month old not sleeping and bed sharing with me

[clairelouise96]

Hi,
My little boy is 13 months old we've been bed sharing no fault of my own I started it when he had a cold and he got use to it that he wanted to be in my bed so I did as it was easier but for about 3 weeks he's been waking up 6-7 times a night for a cuddle and he don't go back to sleep until I cuddle him and stroke his hands and again no fault of my own cause I've kept on doing it I'm so tired I'm going back to work in 2 weeks and I really want a full nights sleep and I really would like to get him sleeping in his cot all night again and stop with all these cuddles as nice as it is to have cuddles I'm so tired what can I do to get him out of this phase and into his cot please? Any advice would be appreciated 😊

No advice on transitioning to a cot, I've never done it but, bedsharing is the norm in many countries throughout childhood and has lots of benefits. there is no shame or 'fault' in providing that comfort through bed sharing.

The idea that a baby should go to sleep in a cot and stay there all night is unrealistic for most babies. It's part of our nature to wake during the night and a baby will naturally look for comfort should they wake up.

there is also a sleep regression around 12 months that you are likely still in, it can take a while to come out of them as they master new areas of development but that means there is no guarantee you would see any benefit to having your baby sleeping in a cot. It's useful to frame it in a more positive way for yourself, rather than 'this is a problem' try looking at it like 'bed sharing has lots of benefits for my baby, we are close and he knows he is secure'.

It is hard working if you've been up in the night, I do sympathise with you on that- I have 15mo ds in bed with me and he still wakes once or twice a night, when I first went back to work he was 9mo and up 4 or 5 times feeding. No idea on moving to their own cot/bed/room, my older dd decided when she was ready and I'll let ds do the same.

Thank you saying bed sharing is the norm and you do it cause people keep telling me it's your fault you started this you'll regret it he'll be in your bed for years you need to get him out of it and I started to think they was all right! I didn't think of the sleep regression if I'm honest and it has started when he was 12 months so it probably is that, thank you I'm hoping he gets out of this sleep regression soon keeping my fingers crossed 🤞 xx

It might be the norm in many countries, but that doesn't mean you have to do it if it isn't working for you. By the sounds of your post, it isn't working for you!

If i were you I'd just grit my teeth and put him in the cot. You'll have a bad week of lots of grumpy bedtimes, and then he'll get it, and you can have your bed back.

Thank you, at the minute it isn't working for me I'm going to put him in the cot and hope for the best and be consistent and hopefully he'll get it soon 😊

Is there a reason behind all these cuddles? Is it because he had a nightmare ? Not tired enough?

I bed share as well. My DS is one.