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Original poster

Help, dd 15 months old waking 5or 6 times every night. Is this normal?

51 replies

fizzbuzz · 12/10/2007 16:03

Have tried everything, she's exhausted, we're exhausted and no end in sight. Thas been going on more or less for 6 months.

Hv useless, just gave photocopy on cc, but when we tried dd got hysterical.

Am really really desperate, no one else seems to have LO this age who wakes up as much. Should we go to GP?

We have no life at all.......

OP posts:
RubyShivers · 12/10/2007 16:04

is she ill/teething
what is your strategy for dealing with night wakings currently?

PanicPants · 12/10/2007 16:09

Fizzbuzz our ds went through a phase of this at about the same sort of age (I put it down to teething.

In the end we did this, and over the course of a week it did stop.

When he cried we went in as soon as we heard him. Cuddled (but not lifted out of cot) him and led him back down - without speaking to him.
Back to bed, then if crying 10 mins later, we repeated it, then again after 15 mins, then 20 mins, then 30 mins. By which point he was asleep.
As the week went on he became easier to settle, and then eventually stopped waking up at all.

Good luck!

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 12/10/2007 16:10

She could be ill/teething, but surely not for 6 months?

We go in and lay her down, but as soon as you leave she screams to the point of making herself sick. She also just wakes up and wants to be awake, and won't go back to sleep. Had 2 hours of this last night, as well as 5 other wake ups. Seems to be suffering from very severe separation anxiety. But me and dp so exhausted we can hardly function

OP posts:
RubyShivers · 12/10/2007 16:13

some babies get into a pattern on teething/illness being unsettled and then develop a poor sleep pattern

If you are confident that she isn't ill then i would decide on a strategy that you can all deal with - if CC isn't for you, the The Baby Whisperer has some good tips as well as No Cry Sleep Solution

When DS went through a phase of waking at 5.00 am we were advised by our HV to comfort him in his cot - this seemed to help him settle better than picking him up and comforting him - like Panic Pants is describng

does she nap at all in the day?

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 12/10/2007 16:14

But PP, when we tried thta sort of thing, she screamed for 3 hours, fell asleep sitting up, woke up after 20 mins and screamed for another hour. Hv advised not to use cc after this.

Am so so desperate

OP posts:
Original poster
fizzbuzz · 12/10/2007 16:16

She has about 11/2 to 2 hours in day.

Am so desperate am crying as I write this.
I think BW is best approach, but these people never say what to do if she throws dummy out of cot and then can't slle without it. Also she gets so worked up she can make herself sick, even if we are there

OP posts:
PanicPants · 12/10/2007 16:19

What did the hv advise?

Personally I think I might be tempted to have another go and keep at it. It is awful at first, but you have to be consistent for the method to work.
I don't think this is classed as cc is it?

RubyShivers · 12/10/2007 16:20

aw Fizz - sleep deprivation is hideous
this is what i would do:

start with a bath and bedtime routine (and earlier than you think as she is tired)
bath, milk/story into bed
tuck her in with a teddy and stay with her until she falls asleep - rest your hand on her chest so she can feel you
do this until she is in a good routine of feeling comforted by your presence
then do gradual withdrawal so she can eventually go to sleep without you
if you do a google search you will find lots of instructions on how to do it

IIRC the baby whisperer has a good section on this too

PanicPants · 12/10/2007 16:21

Would she settle if she has a favourite teddy with her? (Don't know if this is sound advice though)

RubyShivers · 12/10/2007 16:23

PP - i think a comfort object would help in this case

RubyShivers · 12/10/2007 16:24

instructions on gradual withdrawal ...

Hi you are on the right track but need to gradually withdraw yourself from your child by moving further away from him as he falls asleep at night. So sit at the end of the bed for a couple of nights, then on the floor, then by the door and so on until you are out of the room. If he sits up and wants to chat or play or demands your attention be as boring as possible, lie him down saying "shh Shh" and sit in your place looking away. Repeat this process at night by giving him no chat or fuss or attention when he comes in - just straight to bed and sit where you are at that stage. he is afraid because he doesn't understand how to get himself to sleep - you are his cue for falling asleep so naturally he will come looking for you. You will teach him that he can get himself off to sleep by weaning his dependency off you as described and also by not reinforcing the waking behaviour by giving it no attention and being very boring and matter of fact in your response.

jayne222 · 12/10/2007 16:24

My kids are now 6 and 2.5, both woke me up often. I had to cut back on naps. At 15mths both were only having 1 nap at lunchish time for 1hour or less, by 18 months my girl NO Naps and my boy all naps ceased about 2yrs. They rapidly then slept much better. Lack of sleep is the most terrible thing, it will get better trust me, I really feel for you.

Wallace · 12/10/2007 16:25

my 14 month ds sleeps just as badly so you're not alone

RubyShivers · 12/10/2007 16:26

more instructions here - just scroll down

IMHO I wouldn't do CC as your DD can make herself sick which makes the situation even worse

Lulumama · 12/10/2007 16:28

can you get a referral to a sleep clinic?

YeahBut · 12/10/2007 16:56

Have you had your child checked for an ear infection or glue ear? Both can cause a child immense pain when lying down, hence repeated waking. Both our dds suffered with this and the effect it had on their sleep patterns was devastating.

skidaddle · 12/10/2007 16:59

would you consider taking her into your bed if it is separation anxiety? At least that way you might get a bit of sleep. We did this with dd and at 2 she now happily sleeps in her own bed so I don;t think it means you will necessairly be doing it forever.

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 12/10/2007 17:03

She has a bedtime routine, and will settle when she goes to bed. However we hve to keep a hand on her to hold her down, otherwise she just stands up, and chucks dummy and bunny out of cot, and carries on doing this getting giddier and giddier (She won't sleep without her bunny, or dummy)

This is the whole problem (or part of it) She ALWAYS ALWAYS sits or stands up as soon as wakes up. Then you have to put your hand on her to hold her down, otherwise she gets giddy again, and it can go on for hours (4 hours is her record) There is no sleep clinic as it was a victim of NHS cutbacks.

Have tried to get hold of HV, but v difficult. Work 4 days per week in a school, so between 9.00am-11.30 am cannot get to phone, by which time HV have left. Have left messages, but it is really hard for them to contact me back because of same thing (other teachers will know what I mean)I don't work Fridays, but they don't seem to be around on Friday. Also because of some stupid NHS thing, hv no longer based at GP, but at another clinic, so can't even contact them through doctor.

We have tried cutting back on her naps, but she is so exhausted as well, and horribly grizzly that this doesn't really seem to work.

Did make an attempt at gradual retreat, but she lay in her cot glaring at me for 3 hours in the middle of the night (honestly) and I gave up after that.

She is the most strong willed determined thing I have ever come across

OP posts:
Original poster
fizzbuzz · 12/10/2007 17:05

She just gets giddy and hyper in our bed, so won't sleep in there either. Have Gp appt on Monday, so she will prob check ears then. Have heard about this causing sleep problems

OP posts:
RubyShivers · 12/10/2007 17:08

ask if they still px phenergan as well
you sound like you have tried tons of stuff
have a look at the Millpond sleep clinic link here

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 12/10/2007 17:12

Isn't phenergan in Medised? If so, that doesn't have much effect either. Am seriously contemplating Millpond, posted about it on here the other week

OP posts:
RubyShivers · 12/10/2007 17:13

not sure if it is phenergan
there is an anti-histamine in medised which can help some babies sleep
have heard good things anecdotally about Millpond

Sam100 · 12/10/2007 17:22

Hi fizzbuzz - if you have hand on heart followed methods for cc consistently for more than 7 days with no deviations or set backs and it has not had any effect on your little one's sleeping patterns then I would say it is time to visit the GP, if only to put your own mind at rest. Go armed with a diary of a typical night so that you can show GP you think there is a real problem. Ask GP to give lo a full check up for any medical problems then ask for a referral to a sleep clinic if there are no underlying medical problems.

Sleep deprivation is horrid - are you able to nap while your daughter sleeps? Stuff housework etc! Went through similar with DDs who were 18 mths apart in age - neither slept at the same time and I seemed to be up from 5 am to midnight with no respite and no chance to rest in day. DD2 would wake 2 - 3 times in night and at one stage I thought I was going mad. HV was v helpful though and came to house to visit to talk through coping methods. By the way - you don't have to see your own allocated HV. If you know a friend who has a good one - then go to their clinic instead.

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 12/10/2007 18:07

We were told by hv not to carry on with cc crying as she was getting too distressed.

As for napping, well I can when I am at home, but I work 4 days a week.

Thanks for all help, am just going over to lokk at BW website

OP posts:
ImBarryScott · 12/10/2007 18:13

hi fizzbuzz,

I feel for you - sleep deprivation is rotten. Reading your post, I wondered what things were like before they took a turn for the worse 6 months ago. Good, or just bad-but-not-this-bad?