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Sleep

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Original poster

Co-sleeping with a newborn - what do we need to know?

29 replies

naturelover · 06/09/2007 12:34

We'd prefer her to be in a Moses Basket by our bed but at night she just won't settle at all unless she's on the bed with us. We never set out to co-sleep but if I could be reassured that it's ok and safe and won't mean too much trouble evicting her at some point then I'm happy to consider it. It's only day 4 and we're having problems establishing breastfeeding so are pretty desperate for some rest and keen to bond etc.

Any experience/advice you can offer would be much appreciated.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MarsLady · 06/09/2007 12:41

No pillows around the baby. No duvets etc (your bedding I mean) over the baby. Start with her on your outside.

No drinking, smoking, drugs.

Co-sleep during the day as well. Babymoon with your baby so that you get the rest as well.

Hth

RGPargy · 06/09/2007 12:49

I'd be scared I'd squash the baby!!

TheHerdNerd · 06/09/2007 13:22

Bump!

littleducks · 06/09/2007 13:32

if you can ditch your duvet in favour of blankets for both you and babe that is easier in the early days when you worry about accidently putting duvet on baby,
sleep in a cardigan if you get chilly without duvet over your shoulders as it unbuttons for feeding
i had a cossatto bedside cot which gave me more space, i ordered this online from kiddicare when dd was a week old, it arrived in a couple of days, or ask on freecycle, my sil had an ordinary cot and just built it with only three sides but obviously this depends on your bed height if it works
when i was in hosp and sleeping in single bed the midwoife rolled up a blanket and put that on outside of dd to stop her falling off-she was brilliant, really gave me confidence to co sleep!

dd at 16 months is now in cot with one side off in her room til early hours when she comes into our bed, but to be honest this is only as im too tired as im pregnant to walk her back into her bed, so you will get the baby to sleep alone when the time is right for you.

jumblesale · 06/09/2007 13:57

We had all three of our babies in bed with us. I never even knew it was called co-sleeping until I had DS2 last November!
Personally, we stuck the baby in between us, making sure they don't have too many clothes on as they snuggled under our duvet with us (blankets always seemed a bit too fiddly but I can certainly see how it's safer).
Sleeping together definitely helped me breastfeed succesfully, and I'm sure it could help you too. Your midwife should be able to give you info. about it - they're v. big on co-sleeping round by me so I had leaflets on it.
If hubby went out on the razzle, he always slept downstairs. I don't anyone would be foolish enough to roll into bed drunk with a baby there anyway!
Trust your instinct-you won't roll over and squash the baby, honestly! A lot of people worry about that, unnecessarily, I think.
Good luck!

jumblesale · 06/09/2007 13:59

Oh yes forgot to say haven't had ANY problems with getting them out of our bed. They've gone into a cot in our room then their own bedroom, no fuss or bother.
Some of my happies memories are of going back to bed in the afternoon with the baby, feeding, cuddling and snoozing together... ah bliss. I'm getting all wistful just thinking about it.

wulfricsmummy · 06/09/2007 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PinataPaddy · 07/09/2007 00:49

info page on co-sleeping

the only bit i don't quite agree with is how it mentions more than once that co-sleeping is the norm in europe. maybe eastern europe but i think it is less so in w. europe.

It has excellent links at the bottom on infant and toddler sleep. Read them after you have recovered from the shell shock of it all.

PinataPaddy · 07/09/2007 00:50

co-sleeping also promotes breastfeeding and vice versa. these 2 things evolved together. trust your body and your baby to do things that you never thought possible.

skerriesmum · 07/09/2007 02:39

You can buy something called a Snuggle Nest that fits in your bed but keeps the baby's sleep space separate. It's like a little padded box. I found it brilliant for those first few weeks, he was close by but didn't have to be touching me in order to go to sleep.

seeker · 07/09/2007 06:16

I always put a folded muslin or cot sheet under the baby to catch the inevitable dribbles so that I didn't have to change the whole bed. Nothing better than sleeping with a baby. Enjoy!

flightattendant · 07/09/2007 06:39

Has anyone got that 'Breast Crawl' link for NL? It might help.

NL I have the same situation, baby will settle better if next to me/us in the bad - it's known to help their breathing rhythm too, for anyone who is worried about all those snuffles and quiet times at night.

Do be careful she doesn't wriggle under the duvet, this has happened to me before and baby gets very hot!! so I take extra care now.

Also had him fall out a couple of times in the early, clumsily sleep deprived days...not far as there was a huge pile of blankets/pillows stuffed next to the bed, but a shock nonetheless...and then there was the time Ds1 PUT him on the floor then woke me and said he'd fallen out, I screamed I think!!! (Sibling rivalry at its best)

I am getting a side rail so it doesn't happen again and I can relax when he's on the outside.

It is so lovely to bed-share with them. Enjoy!

flightattendant · 07/09/2007 06:40

Should say baby didn't even notice falling onto the cushions...he was still asleep...bless. It was me who freaked out!

MarsLady · 07/09/2007 07:39

YouTube video the benefits of bedsharing Will look for breastcrawl... got it somewhere

MarsLady · 07/09/2007 07:41

There you go. Breastcrawl

Chirpygirl · 07/09/2007 07:44

Here is the breast crawl vid, a few people on here have done this up to 6 weeks or so and found it really helped so give it a go!

I co slept with DD but with her in a bedside cot with one side taken off as we only have a small bed and DH and I are not petite! I butted it up against the bed and tied it on with cable ties and then had a single bed sheet going over her mattress and over the top of my bed so I could slide her over and back again for feeding. She went into her own room with no issues after 5 months once she was down to one night feed as she is a light sleeper and DH's snoring kept waking her up

Chirpygirl · 07/09/2007 07:45

dammit!

beansprout · 07/09/2007 07:56

The breast crawl vid made me cry!

StealthPolarBear · 07/09/2007 08:12

I've only bed shared a few times but found it amazing how aware you are even when asleep. Now if Dh tries to get up to go to the loo in the night I can pin him down in my sleep - apparently I don't let go until he's woken me up enough to explain who he is

bluetop · 07/09/2007 09:25

We have the bed pushed up against the wall and baby sleeps between me and the wall, and I keep the duvet off him. When he was a newborn I had him inside a sleep wedge (called a sleepeezy) which wasn't really necessary but it made me safer. I think you can make it perfectly safe, it makes breastfeeding easier and it feels lovely. Only thing is I think often babies wake more and feed more when they are older than they would otherwise. But I think especially when they are little it is just georgeous and all good.

phdlife · 20/09/2007 20:51

Is it any different with a 5m old? We are just starting to co-sleep as he is waking at night, not to feed but probably for teething pains.

Does I still need to keep the duvet off him? And how do you avoid getting cold yourself?

maisym · 20/09/2007 20:54

check out the unicef baby friendly leaflet on co-sleeping www.babyfriendly.org.uk/items/research_detail.asp?item=74

I've co-slept and it's super to bf and get some rest at the same time.

morocco · 20/09/2007 20:55

we all just snuggle up under the duvet together but i keep her high up where the pillow would be so it wont go over her head. she's pretty feisty so i'm sure she'd let me know if in imminent danger - 6 month old weightlifter

maisym · 20/09/2007 20:55

I wore a warm top sometimes with long sleeves that opened at the front

phdlife · 20/09/2007 21:16

think we are struggling because ds is a big boy (for his age) and we only have a double bed. no room to expand.

my half of the duvet is either folded back over the top of me, or sort of rolled up between me and dh and shoved down towards legs. (ds lies at edge of bed.) I either freeze or roast...

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