am i expecting too much from a 10 week old?

[weeonion]

she gets a dream feed at 11pm, wakes again at 2.30 & 5.30. i am not doing too well with the lack of sleep. i have no idea how to get her to sleep through. is it realistic to expect this from her? where am i goign wrong? HV says i have to expect this as long as i am breastfeeding. we dont seem to have any routine / schedule.. am i setting up problems for the future by not getting some kind of consistency going? feeling like a crap mumtonight as i am out of my depth on this one.

do you cosleep (have her in bed with you)? found this the only way to survive those early months without going doolally mad myself...... don't think she's doing too badly from what you've said. she's still v v little.

It was at around this point that we started semi-co-sleeping, too (putting DS down in his cot, but having him in with us after he woke up the first time). Despite dire prognostications of making a rod for our own backs, DS moved happily into the cot full-time once he got to around nine months.

ta folks. she is in the room with me - in her amby nest. she feeds and then goes straight back to sleep so i dont have to walk the floors with her. i havent yet cracked feeding lying down.

she is a bit more cranky through the day - cries before she drops off but there is no consistency to her naps.

thanks for the reassurance tho'. maybe i shouldnt read contented baby and baby whispering books!

no. put them down this minute and enjoy your baby. trust your instincts to know what is best for her.

off to bed with me then!

You're not crap, just tackling something you've not done before with an unhelpful HV. For me, the best bit about contented baby book was the stuff about daytime naps - getting a routine going (because some of them need to learn How to Sleep). I got really strict with DS so that he learned during the day how to go to sleep at set intervals - well trained child! I think it made it much easier when it came to night time training. Though admittedly I didn't read contented baby until he was about 4 or 5 months, so don't know how it works at 10 weeks. Sleep deprivation is foul though, you have my sympathies.

WO, nothing is unreasonable from a 10 week old unfortunately. ANd the HV is totally wrong to blame it on BF, (as they all seem to do) My DD didn;t sleep through ie 10.30 - 5.30 til 14 weeks and my DS slept through from 10 days old, both BF, although DS fed constantly (well it felt like it at the time) from about 6.30 til 11.30 and then slept through.

Oh and put down all the books and enjoy your baby!!

weeonion, you could try leaving out the dream feed and just seeing how long she'll sleep for in that first chunk (as long as she's well tanked-up beforehand with several feeds in the early evening).

When DD was 8 or 10 weeks I kept thinking I should be giving her a dream feed or something, but in the end I just let her sleep. So, going to bed about 9 or 9.30, her main chunk of sleep got gradually longer over the next few weeks initially till 3, then 4, then 5, then 6 (she would go back down for a few more hours afterwards each time).

I agree, totally normal. I have friends that bf babies have slept through immediately and ff babies that haven't. This is way too young to expect much else I'd have thought. I also found feeding laying down and co-cleeping the only way to get any sleep. At that age you can't spoil them so don't worry about that. Mine still doesn't sleep at 10 months and she doesn't feed in the night anymore (since about 8 months) so wonder what your HV would say about that Don't read the books either they sent me doolally because DD would NEVER do what she was 'supposed' to.

DON'T DESPAIR IT DOES GET EASIER. If you can curl up on the bed with the baby in the day and catch a few zzzz's then it may help. My DD would only ever sleep for longer than 30 mins at a time in the day if curled up next to me. Good luck

It is totally realistic to expect better. I have a 5 week old and he goes to bed at 8, wakes at 2 then up at 7.
I think the lack of routine is the problem, also don't let him sleep more than 4 hours in the daytime. Waking him up at 7, then nap at 9-10 12.30 - 2.30, 4.30 -5.30 and bed at 8. And breastfeeds every 21/2 hours during the day

My first child did this also so its not just fluke. And this one was sleeping awfully unitl3 weeks until I remembered to do a routine. He was waking every 2 hours

HI- I found that about 10 weeks my DS was crying out for a daytime nap routine- I kept a log of when he got tired during the day and structured his naps around that and he is definitely more contented (They are at similar times to Gina Ford but that is coincidence- or maybe she is right about naps!)

I'd also second the idea about leaving out the dream feed- I find it makes no difference to his later waking but gives him a decent first stretch of sleep and me the chance to go to bed early if I need it. I'm breastfeeding, my DS is now 14 weeks and waking twice but I'm not feeling too sleep deprived as I get about 7 hours a night (when I don't have insomnia but that's another story!)