DS 21 weeks and I'm getting no sleep....

[Louplet]

My DS has always woken at night at least a couple of times but things had got a bit better in that he wasn't eating much at night (he is bf) and I was getting nearly 5 and half hours on average altogether. Over the last few weeks he has started to want to eat a lot more when he wakes up and is also taking longer to go back to sleep again (an hour each time). He also hardly sleeps in the day time (a couple of half hour naps if we are lucky). So I am back to around 3 hours a night again much of that in 15 or 30 min slots. He seems perfectly happy and healthy (just a very alert, bright and active baby) but I am massively sleep deprived. He is teething and no doubt growth spurting. What I don't understand is that he will sleep from 7pm/7.30pm until around 11pm (used to be 12 or 1am but has gone down though sometimes still nearly 12) but then the next slot has gone down from 3 hours to 1 and a half or 2 hours and then more or less hourly or less after that. How is it he can sleep for a decent slot to begin with but can't then sleep after that? Does anyone else have the same problem. Once I have had dinner and got ready for bed I only get an hour at most before he wakes up at around 11pm and after that I am stuffed and as he doesn't sleep in the day time much (except when he is in his buggy which is not much help and actually not much even then)I have little time to catch up though DH does what he can to help me get an extra hour a day if poss. Any thoughts or similar experiences would be great.

Hi Louplet, just wanted to offer huge sympathy to you - my almost 6 month old DS was exactly like this about a month ago. I could never work out why he could sleep so well before midnight and then wake every hour or so after midnight. Unfortunatly I don't have anything to suggest as things have changed for us over the past month (no idea why) and now it takes me ages to get him to sleep and he needs resettling every half hour or so up until midnight, but then he will usually sleep for two slots of 3 hours (ie 12 - 3am, then feed, then sleep 3.30am - 6am).

I know this isn't much help but just wanted to say you're not alone - a couple of my friends also had the same problem - and it seems that that their patterns change so often at this stage. I sincerely hope that your DS doesn't start needing endless evening resettling like mine, but I do think they get the hang of post-midnight sleep eventually.

Sometimes I used to skip dinner and have a snack and go to bed at 8 and sleep until DS's next feed so at least I'd get a couple of hours in a row. Not sure if this is an option for you?

Thanks Mamarug. It is good to know that I am not alone though sorry to hear about your endless resettling. That sounds bad. My DS has started to need resettling once during his initial 7ish to 11ish stint. I hope it is not a sign of things to come. Don't really want to give up on having dinner with my DH as it is the only time we get to ourselves at the moment. It is a tough one. Decided to go to bed at 9pm yesterday straight after dinner but blow me if DS didn't wake up just as I was about to go up and need a mini feed and resettling for half an hour. Thought he was going to be ok then as he didn't wake again until 12 and then again at 2am and then 4am and I actually got my 3 and a half hours in early and was looking forward to another hour but DS wouldn't play ball and refused to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time after 4am . Thankfully DH looked after DS this afternoon for me so I got another one and a half hours which was a lifesaver . Fingers crossed for tonight and for you too.

Sympathies - my DS goes through periods like this too (have just come out of the other end of one - now sleeping 2-3 hours at a time which is a big improvement). At that age, I think the main culprit was teeth - is he showing any other symptoms? Does calpol/medised/tooth gel help with getting him back to sleep?

DS was also a bad napper - we've just managed to start getting 2 regular daytime naps at about 8 months. Do yuo try putting him in his cot for a nap (we didn't manage cot naps till later btw).

Wouldl recommend reading the No Cry Sleep Solution for ideas on gradually improving things . There's also a thread for many of us with similar problems called Sleep is For The Weak - feel free to join in and rant!

Thanks Slim. Will definitely check out Sleep is for the weak and also the No Cry Sleep Solution. Bizarrely last night DS went the same route as Mamarug's DS for a change! Much same result i.e. little sleep but in a different order...He is definitely teething (chewing a lot, lots of saliva, signs on the gums of teeth beginning to push through) though it mostly seems to make him restless and wanting to chew hard on my fingers rather than being really painful most of the time. We have been using teething gel now and then in the daytime when he is really bad but not at night so far as he hasn't seemed to be in any pain when he wakes up but will keep the gel by the bed tonight and give it a try. Tbh usually what happens is he wakes up and wants some bf and either goes back to sleep ok (although he is a v light sleeper so sometimes wakes up again while I'm putting him in cot so I have to start all over again) or he is just wide awake and looking around and refusing to go back to sleep and I have to spend ages rocking him and sshing to get him off again. In the daytime on the odd occasions he looks a little sleepy I latch onto it quick and rock/stroke him to sleep and then put him down in his cot but this only happens twice a day at most (it is relatively consistent but some days he misses on of the slots) and he will only sleep for 30 to 45 mins and then wakes up and is wide awake again. The only times he sleeps for longer are if he is in the car or in his buggy and even then he doesn't sleep for the whole time but can go for hours and surprise us. He did today. DH took him out to give me a rest and he slept for over 2 hours. Fab . Went down at 7.15pm tonight then woke again just before 8pm and needed resettling. We'll have to see how the rest of the night unfolds...

Sounds exactly like my ds2 Louplet. He's also 21 weeks and never been a great sleeper, but last few weeks have been hellish. He was having screaming abdabs (and I mean screaming abdabs) for up to 3 hours at a time, either at bedtime or later in the night. I decided to try co-sleeping again to see if it helped, and it does, but has meant that he now wakes up much more frequently (not that he was ever down for much more than 2 hours at a time) - last night it seemed like he was latched on for most of the night, but at least doesn't get frantic. He's not a good daytime napper either, so we're trying to work on this to see if it helps, as I suspect overtiredness may be partly to blame. It's blardy exhausting though, isn't it? I keep telling myself it's just a phase and will sort itself out eventually, but have little advice to offer, I'm afraid. Will watch the thread with interest. Good luck

Will be thinking of you Midnight Express and hoping things get better for you. My DS now has a cough and cold so am expecting tonight won't be great...I keep promising myself that at some point it will get better and I will know the joy of a good night's sleep again

Oh can I join in this thread pls. Louplet I could have written some sentences in your thread word-for-word. DD is 23 weeks. Her sleep goes 8-12pm (sometimes in one go, oftentimes with frequent waking / screaming / resettling) then it's the luck of the draw. Last night slept 1-3.50 refused to go down again until after 6.
Like you, I cannot sleep during early evenings. DH has busy job with lots of overseas travelling so him taking over some nights ain't happening.

Only thing that has worked for us a bit is leaving DD on her own (she is still in our bedroom) and us sleeping in the spare room just in case our noises-DH snoring etc-were keeping her up(she sleeps alone in the room 8-12 which is what gave us the idea). Of course this is bonkers but I'm not quite ready to move HER out as we still do 1-2 night feeds.

I also try - not always successfully - to ensure she goes down awake and falls asleep on her own rather than bf to sleep. But does not seem to help her ability to settle on her own at night at all anyway

Otherwise no solutions, just massive sympathy and hope its just a phase however long and tiring.

forgot to mention - I've just started seeing a cranial osteopath with ds2 - will let you know if it helps!